Thank you Dave and others,

I`m very glad you took the time with me. I still hope people well versed in exploring the afterlife can answer this and my other question.

Otherweise - you are right, i guess. I have to give my brain a rest and re-program it positively. Only this is easy to say...and very hard to do when you feel like people would normally feel before three minutes before a plane crash, i.e. in mortal fear.

Thanks

may love, which surely exists, be with you all

description fits 100%

lets hope the eventual outcome is true as well (can`t imagine that, but then, I am very deep in the dark night)

It is true, also, that it is okay to be in the deep dark night. You may look up into the sky and see a beautiful moon there, when the clouds drift by. I have found that there can be something beautiful in some very difficult states of being, as long as I can go with the flow. But you must take your time, take the time to slow down, especially let your breath lengthen, which is why guided meditation, exercise, rest, relaxing 'fun' or 'conversation' times with those you enjoy or trust, can help so much. For me, once I moved on, into explorations of a possible 'afterlife', I gained a new perspective, one in which I realized that our capacity to create, to have visions of our own, is much bigger than we can imagine in our typical 'everyday' state of being, when we are focused on making a peanut butter sandwich, or that kind of thing. Not that you can't have a fine moment there, with your sandwich. But, understanding the source of peace and contentment as yourself, which is a source much wider, and deeper, and simply vaster than what you can imagine at this very moment...well, that's just plain fabulous.

You`re a good person Bets

I appreciate help - in all its forms

Hey Chrwe! 

I think I get a little of what you are feeling.  It is sometimes VERY SCARY the stuff we are all thinking about and doing here on this site.  It's like we have come to the very edge of what we have known up to this point, and are on the verge of a great unknown and are about to undergo great change.  The good news is, I don't think you would be thinking this stuff if you weren't ready to be, and meant to be.   

Try to do what you can to keep your mind and body in the most optimum condition for doing this work.  I agree with Dave's advise above wholeheartedly, and would add:

be sure you are eating healthy foods, staying hydrated, don't forget to sleep every night and keep breathing well! 

maybe as a precaution, get a physical and make sure you don't have any small imbalances that can be easily corrected (check thyroid, BP, vitamin D).  (I only suggest these things because you sound kinda like how I felt a few years ago, and some of these helped me a lot.  Then again, you are a doctor, so you probably don't need any of this advice from me...... )

I'd love to keep hearing how you're doing.  Sending you my share of PUL....

Thank you for not taking offence, chrwe 

Here's another one:
Let's say that you only have a brain. A brain is a programmable collection of facts that it is taught by its owner. How often have you programmed into your brain that you are, seem, fear that you are,  fearful?  So now it is feeding back that information to you -- You are fearful.

But that isn't the end of the story. Now that you have learned what your brain is capable of, you can decide to reprogram it with
"I am not fearful."  "I will not be fearful." "I do not seem fearful." etc. You will have to repeat that for as many times and with as much feeling/emphasis as you have said or thought the opposite.

Probably you could say it fewer times if you say it with true full belief, but since belief is not a mechanistic, material factor, you will have to say it equal times.       

Please let know how that works for you. (Actually I think it will help.)

Bets

you are very kind people and I want you to know I so appreciate your help

You cannot offend me with what I fear is the truth, my friend, especially not when you mean it in kindness

so I don`t feel offense, only fear and a great sadness, you see?

but I don`t want to go into this again

I am trying to be a loving person, that has nothing to do with there being an afterlife or not - love will always be THE meaning of life for me