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Starcraft

Ex Member

Gone
Apr 10^th, 2010 at 11:31am

Gone
Copyright 2010
Mitchell Leigh Shelton

Here I am but what am I?
And will I know before I die?

Am I my name my parents gave?
A human destined for the grave?

What am I meant to be?
What am I meant to do?
Can someone come and help me,
cause I haven't got a clue.

My science it has failed me,
so no matter how hard I try.
My cells will keep on aging,
and then one day I'll die.

Death will sneak upon me,
like a thief in black of night.
I'll say I am not ready,
but I can't put up a fight.

Will death mark the ending,
of what I do and see?
Was all I did for nothing?
Fates little joke on me?

Will it even really matter?
Will anyone shed a tear?
When my body it does shatter,
and I face my greatest fear?

I'm in a state of panic now,
I need to know the truth.
I can't take this not knowing,
I need some solid proof.

Things started out so simple,
life was gentle, life was kind.
Now all life does is take away,
and leave loved ones all behind.

All I am, that is, will ever be,
There is nothing left but empty me.
I face my ending all alone,
then nothing is left, no flesh nor bone.

I am gone.

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Beau Super Member Offline Posts: 1176 Greenville SC Gender:	Re: Gone Reply #1 - Apr 10^th, 2010 at 2:00pm yeah...death affects the ones left behind much more than the one doing the dying. kind of like when you are born.
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Starcraft Ex Member	Re: Gone Reply #2 - Apr 11^th, 2010 at 4:48pm Nothing effects the dead. They are gone. Nothing. Black. Empty.
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Beau Super Member Offline Posts: 1176 Greenville SC Gender:	Re: Gone Reply #3 - Apr 11^th, 2010 at 5:23pm Good Luck with that.
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Mark Andrew Junior Member Offline Posts: 93 Indiana Gender:	Re: Gone Reply #4 - Apr 11^th, 2010 at 5:28pm Beau wrote on Apr 11^th, 2010 at 5:23pm: Good Luck with that. No kidding. I feel like I should be wearing black lipstick and white facepaint while I'm reading this stuff. Someone hand him a flower, please. Hopefully he won't just eat it or something. Sorry, that was rude, but this is so over the top.
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Starcraft

Ex Member

Re: Gone
Reply #5 - Apr 11^th, 2010 at 5:35pm

I don't consider it over the top. Based on current scientific proof It's fairly dead on. With the overall world opinion that the afterlife does not exist it's dead on too. Most people in the world have (at best) a very basic (sort of) belief in the bible and that is it.

(and I mean they don't follow it they just like cross they're fingers and pretend death doesn't exist.)

I face death and look it in the eye.
It scares me. It drives me into a panic, it drives me mad. Someday I will likely have a complete breakdown from it.

But, still, I face it. I don't try to pretend it does not exist. That people don't die and twitch and death rattle.

I heard my cat death rattle.

I watched him die.

he's gone.

Someday I will be gone. I have to face that terrible fact.

My wife can't even talk about it. I think she suffers as much if not more than me. But I will face it. I will fight it with every breath.

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Starcraft Ex Member	Re: Gone Reply #6 - Apr 11^th, 2010 at 5:40pm I am not doing very well. I feel..... I feel. dark.
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Beau Super Member Offline Posts: 1176 Greenville SC Gender:	Re: Gone Reply #7 - Apr 11^th, 2010 at 9:13pm Seek and ye shall find. Seek not and ye shall not. Mainstream science and fundamental Christianity are both good reasons to avoid seeking, I guess. It's your ride.
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b2 Ex Member	Re: Gone Reply #8 - Apr 11^th, 2010 at 9:57pm Ok, I've decided you are one of those people who must go out and get another cat immediately. Don't protest until you go to an animal shelter and find some poor, pathetic little thing who needs you. Otherwise, I think you will lose your mind. A kitten, maybe, someone who will have a chance at a better life. Just my 2 cents.
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Pat E.

Full Member

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Posts: 207
Northern California
Gender: female

Re: Gone
Reply #9 - Apr 12^th, 2010 at 12:47am

Starcraft, have you read any of Bruce Moen's writings on this website? Or any of his books? Or Robert Monroe's books? Given your mindset, they will not likely convince you about the existence of the afterlife, nor should they. Nor will anyone on this forum. However, Moen, Monroe, Tom Campbell, other authors mentioned on this site and many here have explored beyond this physical life and convinced themselves. They offer their experiences without trying to convince others, but rather to encourage others to explore on their own. Rather than continue to wallow in your grief you might do some reading (and get a new cat).

Nearly all of us have experienced deep grief over the loss of loved ones. I still feel intense waves of sadness about the loss of my beloved daughter not so long ago. But folks on this site and the authors I named above have helped me find another way of looking at that loss, even though I still experience the sadness, to some extent, every single day.

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Beau

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Posts: 1176
Greenville SC
Gender: male

Re: Gone
Reply #10 - Apr 12^th, 2010 at 10:07am

Starcraft,

Here is a poem I wrote a day or two ago, before you made your thread, but I offer it perhaps as a kind of response to Gone.

The Sun Runs IT

These are the ides I’ve seen
And nothing can make them mean to me
I don’t have the courage to come clean
But I have the process to see what I mean to be

This precludes all the ideas I’ve had before
I’m not after the angels anymore
The Sun is the god of this Solar System
But who runs the Sun in all its splendor?

I can see why we invented a god to run the world
I can even see that perhaps there is one in this swirl
It makes more sense to me that we collectively
Bring the new ages upon us instinctively

I’m not one to ponder what I cannot know
So many of my friends don’t ponder at all
Are they doomed to make the same fall
Over and over again and again, I hope the truth will show

Why isn’t “why we are here” more important to the masses?
Why do they insist on letting the institutions tell them their truth?
The something that we know could never come from nothing
But why make up stories to keep people in line?
I hear them all the time
I have no need of the blatant lies
That form so many lives
I am, period and I always will be
Until my consciousness drops off to sleep
But since it never sleeps I just don’t see
How I can hold on to some illusion that I will not be
I am more than my body
Maybe more than some puny soul
I am the world and the universe,
I am eternity within the confines of my prison

I only ask to experience the realms beyond the physical
For more than a fleeting moment
Let me remember my visits with those who are raising me
Like no parent I’ve ever known
Take me to the heights of my understanding,
Just don’t leave me alone
All one is the only truth,
Alone, the one lie,
a L on E. If a Love can be on E so can We
L equals the right angle.
What happened to the left angle?
If there is only a right angle then there can only be
Right inside the mind of the mathematician.

If left equals right then what is one to think?
Ninety degrees suddenly seems so easy to comprehend.
360 degrees even easier when we understand.
The circle of the Sun, The circle of the Earth,
The circle of the atom and the Circle of my birth
Maybe it’s an ellipse or maybe an illusion
I cannot dare to make that call.
The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t have to fall
For all those things that have taken me down before.
I have meaning that comes to me with every breath
And that meaning will never end in death
My life is L, if E. Love “the magic if” of E.
Light has no speed
Energy has no light
Mass has no time,
But when you put them together they spell out Everything
The distance between me and you is less than us being ONE
We are whole upon the place we choose to place ourselves
I am not about the science of understanding
Any more than I am about the politics and religion
I am, period.
What I do is what I do
And the only regrets are the things that I don’t do

I wish I had said “I love you” in a way that meant more to you.
The word “Love” leaves me dry at times
And I cannot muster the energy to use such a word.
Try and try as I might such words don’t come out
But the feelings are something I cannot live without
This is not my home.
I belong to myself but I am you and you are me
And we are never not together as long as we can see
Beyond the physical barriers that hold us in so tight

Dream a little dream of me and know that it is as real as anything we see here
Information processes that allow the data to be interpreted
By the consciousness is all I can understand
When I look at your body sitting there at that computer screen wishing it was somebody else.
And then I can still look at my own hand
But when you light up the room it takes me by surprise
And sometimes I lash out because I was used to the person who liked to hide
In both me and you.

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All the world's a stage...whose stage?--that is the question!...or is it the answer...Who is on first.

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detheridge Full Member Offline Posts: 165 Malvern, Worcs, U.K. Gender:	Re: Gone Reply #11 - Apr 13^th, 2010 at 7:05am Hi Starcraft, you may not realise it but more people on this planet believe in the afterlife than don't. It's just that those who don't believe shout louder about it. In the immortal words of Sir Michael Caine: 'Not a lot of people know that'. Best David.
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Starcraft

Ex Member

Re: Gone
Reply #12 - Apr 13^th, 2010 at 6:55pm

It's awful.

I just got done screaming profanities and literally freaking out at my apartment. If there is no afterlife then there is no reason to live.

No point to life.

I am at the end. All I can feel is nothing. All I can see is nothing. I want to see a medium but I can't afford it. If there is no after life I would much rather have never existed.

I wish I was nothing.
Existing for a short time and then ending is too much to bear.
I think I must kill myself soon.

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Mark Andrew Junior Member Offline Posts: 93 Indiana Gender:	Re: Gone Reply #13 - Apr 14^th, 2010 at 12:54am Starcraft, If nothing you do matters, then all that matters is what you do.
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b2

Ex Member

Re: Gone
Reply #14 - Apr 14^th, 2010 at 3:04am

Starcraft, are you telling us that you don't have a 'happy place' to go to, while you're here on earth? The way I see it, you need to find your 'happy place' and kinda stay there sometimes and get used to that feeling. Then, you can explore the 'afterlife' more easily. You really can't 'care' that much about it if you want to get results. I hate to say it, but screaming and yelling is the opposite of the state you need to be in so that spirit can talk to you.

So, you're going through a lot of frustration, and that takes as long as it takes. Only you know if you are a survivor. My 'take' on it is that you are. So, give it a whirl. Try the methods of exploration explained here in these web pages, or just hang out until you feel a little better and things might look a little different then.

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