StoneColdTrue
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Posts: 237
Birmingham, AL
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If you're reading this I ask that you do not stop. I know I can ramble at times and my posts are long, but I only provoke thought. I will make statements which may contradict your beliefs. Know that what I state is what I have come to understand and believe and that I am not even close to a full on understanding. This is all just reasoning and enlightenment between us. I accept your comments as one day I hope to revise all that I write and create a book. I still have much to learn and discover.
Alan Watts once said "To the best of our knowledge every one of us is going to suffer and die. If, then, we cannot live happily without an assured future, we are certainly not adapted to living in a finite world where, despite the best plans, accidents will happen, and where death comes at the end. This, then, is the human problem: there is a price to be paid for every increase in consciousness...For if our desires are out of accord with anything that the finite world can offer, it might seem that our nature is not of this world, that our hearts are made, not for the finite, but for infinity...But if we are citizens of this world, and if there can be no final satisfaction of the soul's discontent, has not nature, in bringing forth man, made a serious mistake?"
I think the first step to really reaching a higher consciousness is very seriously proposing the question "Why do I exist?" As far as I know I did not ask for life. So many things are placed before me and not of my choosing. My physical appearance. My family. The life provided by my family. My name. This planet. Everything that life was, is, and will be.
I have considered that by nature I am a philosopher and a psychologist. I do not have deep educational knowledge of these things but I have abilities to think deeply, reason and to understand people and get in touch with their psyche.
For some reason unknown to me, I have reached a level of consciousness which has made me uncomfortable for several months. I must have lived 22 years of this life without ever truly being bothered as to why I exist and what happens when I die. But after turning 23, I now find myself in a position which is most unique in comparison to what is around me. I think of my peers and my generation. I think of how television and this age of "Twilight, Twitter, and Facebook" is so very tiny in comparison to what so, so, so ,so many people ignore. They live and they do not question.
So why do I question? Why am I capable of perceiving that life is strange? What has made me capable at 23 to understand that there is so much more to life? That my once contented beliefs that life was just life and we cease to exist completely in death have vanished. This increase in understanding and increase in a search for knowledge seems so very rare, and that increase has made my mind restless.
Could it be that I have lived on this earth in a past life? Could it be that residing within me is an even higher consciousness with the answers I seek? Answers discovered before and now being reclaimed. If this is true, then my soul is perhaps even older than my parents. How can that be? They're double my age and don't seem to have even close to my ability to think deeply and reason.
I have begun to settle in my thoughts. Fear has decreased inside me and I am moving closer to making the next steps toward discovery. I think it is a purpose and a calling and I feel a sense of appeasement at the thought that this knowledge will make my transition through the afterlife so much easier. But I still have much to do. There is still hate within me. Judgment and prejudice. But I can recognize it and I know that my understanding of love and compassion is very high.
Is the increase in consciousness the soul's journey back to itself? Was this always planned? Was I never to live a full life without these questions as my mother and father have done? Did I make this decision to live again, or was it decided for me? Life now is nothing like the life I can see in my memories. It's hardly the same person. I see a person who knows and understands so very little. A person which ignores all of which I no longer ignore.
So then comes a question beyond my own existence, but why do humans exist? What is the point of our lives? I almost feel as if I have the answer. It's enlightenment. It's evolution. We exist simply because we just do and its beyond our control. But our purpose is truth, knowledge, and love. It is to reach the highest state of being. To love yourself and everything in existence. We are to evolve...for eternity, and we will find so much warmth that eternity itself will be its own gift. That our love and happiness will be so intense that we will wish it to never end and that wish will be granted.
Everything I have conveyed here rests within my mind and I have shared it. I do not know its accuracy and I do not know its intent, but regardless it is there. Some thoughts it seems were there to begin with and only accessed upon retrieval. As knowledge is something we take in, thought already resides.
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