DocM
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Chantilly,
Don't pay attention to the waiting period that some talk about; talk to your son now. Tell him what you know, that you love him, that he should follow love and not be afraid. Even if you feel at times that you are talking to yourself, do it anyway.
In Asia, the Tibetan Book of the Dead (Bardo Thodol) is read immediately following a person's passing. It is taken as a given that the person can hear/see. The writers of this book felt that after death we are given a series of visions which are illusions. The idea is not to get tied up in attachments to lust, greed, selfishness, but and to realize some of what you experience may be illusions that we have to pass through. In that text, there are countless ways out of the Bardo world, by recognizing the illusions and following a path of love. If the person does not recognize things, the Asians believe that a rebirth is the final outcome back onto the earth plane.
I have read the Bardo and while I'm sure there is wisdom in it, my main "take home" message is that the newly deceased can hear and see you. I am not sure that the realms of illusion described are not just archetypes in the human mind, and the talk in the text of the devas, gods and demons we encounter does not hit home for me (it is likely due to a cultural divide).
It is especially important that the living let our deceased loved ones know they are loved, forgiven and can and should move on - that you'll meet again. Grieving is normal, but try to stay focused and send thought of love on to him. Tell him to pursue love and release anger hate and fear. Tell him to ask for help if he needs it.
I don't think its to early to do any of these things.
Love,
Matthew
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