Vicky
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Hi Dave,
Have you worked on setting an intent or desire for what you want to experience? This is my best advice, along with Bruce's advice of asking for assistance from a Helper. I have lots of OBEs too, but they are much better experiences when I have an intent or desire in mind ahead of time or ask for help with something specific.
Remember also that nonphysically all we need is a thought in order to make something happen. It's really amazing how our thoughts and beliefs control what we experience and perceive, but once you learn how to work around that dynamic, you can learn to manipulate things into going your way. Much like what Bruce is suggesting about pretending during an OBE. Sometimes we just don't know how we are blocking or limiting ourselves unless and until we break free from our usual habits and expectations. By pretending, setting intent and desire, and letting go of expectations, you will open yourself up to new ways and new possibilities.
From what you describe of your OBEs, I hear that you have some pretty straightforward expectations and beliefs about what OBEs are like. I used to be that way too, but then I began to see that there are many forms of OBEs. A simple example is that I used to think I'd have to "wake up" in an OBE in my physical bedroom before I could walk around and do anything while in the out of body state. That's not true.
So one way to work on the things you want to experience is to know what you don't want to experience. From what you describe, you don't want to experience not being able to "see" in some way, and you don't want to experience finding yourself in random places and then getting pulled back without having any control. So these are things you can focus on when setting intent.
Maybe one intent you can think about consciously while awake is "The next time I'm having an OBE, I will be able to perceive clearly and easily in whatever form that might be." Or you might set intent for "The next time I'm out of body, I want to have an experience exploring the afterlife, that in whatever way is possible I will know this is a true experience."
If you focus on a set intent, this is also where Helpers come into play. It's always important to ask for assistance, which can be done directly like, "I'd like to have a Helper's assistance in experiencing doing a retrieval." But you can also ask for a Helper's assistance by keeping in mind that you want, accept, and expect the assistance of a guide or helper, and you allow yourself to feel what it's like receiving it. Sort of taking a moment to feel grateful or humble for accepting help. Then in the next moment you state your intent. It is implied that a helper will be helping you because you allowed yourself to believe that help is something you will accept, and in feeling gratitude for it you are practicing what it feels like to receive it.
I once asked Bruce how I can learn to experience what it's like having a Helper be there for me. He said to just practice pretending that one actually IS there right now, at this moment. Just pretend what it's like. This helped me to learn that pretending is a way to experience what it FEELS like to have my desire happen. The act of experiencing the feeling, even though it is all pretend, is like opening the door to allowing myself to have the real experience.
If you think about it, life is that way. When you want to experience something, it begins with some form of "pretend" happening first. For instance, as a teenager you can't wait to learn to drive. You think about it all the time, fantasizing about it, practicing in your mind, and then the day finally comes where you get to actually sit behind the wheel and start to actually learn to drive. You've already experienced the feeling of it many times, in your mind, while pretending.
When we think about things, it's the same concept of how pretending works. And we even do this without consciously realizing it. I believe that a lot of what we experience physically, we already experienced nonphysically. Like when deja vu happens, a part of us had "gone ahead" and gathered some information, saw possibilities, or practiced doing something, and brought that information back to us. That's another form of OBE that we are not normally aware of.
So I use that concept of pretending when I am learning to explore nonphysically. I remember that what I'm doing by pretending is allowing myself to experience the feeling of what I want and desire, and it is that feeling that will bring the experience to me in some way or some form. It is not even necessary to plan ahead of how it is possible or how it will happen. All you need to know is that feeling what you want will bring you what you desire.
So in Bruce's tip to me when he said to just practice imagining a helper with me right now, all I need to do is act like the helper is already there, even if I can't see, hear, or know he's there. If making up what a helper looks like helps me to pretend that he's there, then that will work too. But just the thought of it is all it takes.
With practice and in time these things go more effortlessly without so much prep work. But you get the picture of what the process is like.
One thing I always remember to do is give thanks or feel thankful. It helps me remember that I'm not doing anything on my own. We are always getting assistance whether we are aware of it or not.
It took me many OBEs to learn and realize that no matter how much control I thought I had, I still had the help of someone who was helping make the experience possible. To this day I still have to remind myself that there is always some form of guidance going on, even when I am not aware of it.
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