I can only write the following as I've had a few glasses of wine   So I will probably look back at it tomorrow with a red face (especially being a "newbie") - sorry!

I've only been on this "spiritual journey" for about 3 months so it has been a lot very fast - before this I was a true skeptic atheist though as a child I believed in both God and Reincarnation.

My Mum bounced between all sorts of religions while I was growing up.  She's finally settled on the Catholic church (a full circle!) and I respect her beliefs (while placing seeds to let her know that there may be more to the afterlife than the heaven they preach, and that if she ever gets "bored" there then to look for guidance where to go next, and also not to give her own power to someone outside - as my biggest fear is the rumors about ETs / our Governments producing a thought form image of "Jesus" preaching a one world religion with him as the savior as a form of mass control!  Sorry, a bit of a tangent there )

I've been trying to find where I "fit in", when I came across "Theosophy".  While reading it, I got a chill...  I felt like I already "knew" everything that had been said.  About a month previous, I had been wondering about "All That Is" and how to represent it, and I had a "Rote" open up in my conscious awareness which lead me to drawing a diagram - it was far too much information to put into words.  It was 7 tiered and showed consciousness entering into the system, evolving upwards through each tier, before finally rejoining with the "source".  This is pretty much what Theosophy teaches , that the earth has 7 globes, and we are currently on the 4th round (where I placed "us" on the diagram").

The thing I'm struggling with is whether this is just another belief system?  I feel quite sure that this is to do with a past life, and that I was part of a Mystery school at some point.  It just feels too familiar for it not to be.  The Mystery schools seem to have been around from the beginning of time, and Budda, Jesus, etc all followed this path to "Enlightenment" - "Earth School Graduates".

The reason it's causing me trouble is for two reasons.

The first is because in the literature it states, basically, that "you shouldn't play with what you don't understand".  This is in relation with OBE / Focus levels.  This resonates with me at a deep level and explains why I am having trouble letting go enough to get to any kind of focus level (except for by accident, seemingly with help from "outside".)  They say that the student, trying to go too far, can become insane...  And that, though rare, there have been incidents recorded where "the silver cord was broken, and the person died" - my aboslute nightmare!!  I can't express how much I love my family, as they are in physical reality, and how much I don't want to lose this experience prematurely.

The second is where I need the wine to type this out...  The belief seems to be that in order to evolve, we need to leave our "animal origins" behind.  This means moving from acting out of our lower three chrakras to the upper four.  Which means cutting out sexual urges.  In this life, I'm mated with a highly charged male    It tends to cause a lot of problems between us because his drive is so much higher to my non existant drive.  It doesn't help that I've had many negative experiences of this kind which I feel has led to a complete block of whichever chakra controls this.

Reading Moens books, there seems to be quite an emphasis on "sexual" Love and how it is important in the overall scheme of things as a way of expressing PUL.  (Sorry Bruce, but it's true!).  I feel torn between what I feel is how things are "meant to be" (staying away from the lower Chakras as taught by the Mystery schools) and using it as another channel for PUL.  Do you think this might be why I'm with my current partner?  To learn that PUL can be expressed through that, and to teach my partner that it can be expressed in ways other than that?  Or are the Mystery schools right?

I just can't shake the feelings that if the Mystery schools have been around forever, and all Religions (as they seem to be to be) are based on this, they must be "true".  Or were the Mystery schools the very first segregation of the "Elite" from "normal man"?  ....  Actually, what I just typed was new to me...  Is this actually what they were?  The very first segregation that blocked humankind from exploring together by causing the seperation from those who knew the "secrets" and those who didn't?

I think I may have answered my own question...  But would appreiciate any input.  Especially as present "Enlightened" individuals seem to follow these teachings...  xx

Thank you Seraphis,

I love synchronisty...  I was thinking earlier, I want to buy an ebook - but wasn't really sure which one or why.  The past week I have been thinking about ways to open the heart chrakra and receive love energy.  Then as I was on another forum, I noticed Starshine who I know is part of this forum and thought, oh I should check back here...

And now I know why I want to buy an ebook  

Thank you for your other pointers, I have read and will reread and reflect on them.  There is a lot in the phrase "Reality is stranger than fiction", if fiction even exists rather than just being symbols of greater realities!

One thing, though I may find its already in the book - yesterday when in a quiet state I felt what I thought was my heart speeding up and almost felt like it was missing beats, however it was felt in the middle of my chests (chakra area, I know).  I freaked a bit as I felt quite giddy with it and made my partner check my heartbeat for me - which seemed fine.  Is it likely this was my chakra or should I be going to see a doctor?!   

Thank you for all your advice.

Bumblebee wrote on Dec 25^th, 2009 at 5:23pm:


Hi Bumblebee: Was this flutter? One thing you should know an o.b.e. may be preceeded by what I would describe as a heart flutter because the astral projection phantom is generated primarily by the heart chakra in conjunction with the throat chakra (you can have coughing spasms in meditation sessions and the solar plexus chakra... this will seem to sieze up and your diaphragm will tense up... these are all obe... symptoms...) but, the real test is have you had heart activity in the past year when not involved in meditation...

S.