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Core identity (Read 3234 times)
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Core identity
Dec 11th, 2009 at 7:59am
Hi everyone,

I just wanted to write a little about this as I am just finishing off reading this book.  Bruce, your ending to this book has helped me piece bits of my own journey together so much!

I spent a long time (10 years) in a deep depression, shutting out anything nonphysical due to hearing my mums (not so nice) experiences.  A day came after my second childs birth when I was ready to let go of the depression, started medication with the intent this time that it would make me better instead of my usual intent of it not working.  A few weeks later I was indeed getting better, finding more joy in my life than ever before and truely feeling what it felt like to be alive.  The, one night, it suddenly dawned on me that I was going to die, that due to things that had happened I could have already been dead, that later on today that might happen.  And with my current beliefs that meant non existance.  The sheer terror of that experience is something I had never known, I felt like the world was falling apart around me.  Somehow I had got through the last 25 years ignoring the fact that I would one day pass away, and I had suddenly been confronted with that deep set belief that this body is all I am.

For the next 2 weeks, I couldn't go anywhere inside my house except my sofa.  I could sense things crawling all around my house.  Again, this was in deep conflict with my beliefs - that the only reality was this one.  Yet I knew that somehow my depression had manifested outside of what I was.  All through this time I spent every second of every day thinking I was about to die.  I just knew it.  I started my quest to know what happens when someone dies, and during the process I started to experience things that again conflicted with things I previously "knew" to be true.  I kept feeling like the world was fading out on me and found it hard to stay grounded.

After things settled down, I decided that I never wanted to feel like that again.  It was much too scary!  However now that I've read Bruces book, I realise exactly what I had been experiencing.  And I can see how much my perception has grown due to those experiences.  I can also see how that desicion that I never again experience that feeling has been holding me back from continuing my experience.  Now that I know it's a normal part of this journey and that I'm not the only person to have felt like that.  What a relief!

Thank you Bruce!
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Posts: 817
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Re: Core identity
Reply #1 - Dec 11th, 2009 at 3:56pm
Bumblebee; i like the name...Smiley
Welcome to the forum, what an interesting adventure you had.
Yes we are all going to pass whether we want it or not it's a fact.

You could have probably went through a Believe System Crash too?
Either way your at the right place to talk about this stuff; there're lot of informations in the book club forum and also a lot of free Articles about afterlife and even exercises from Bruce.
On top of this page you'll see...Afterlife F.A.Q / Free Articles / what's the afterlife/ Necessary skills for you to peruse at you free will...Smiley
Keep it up and keep posting.
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