I haven't posted here is quite some time...I just haven't had the time.
I am busy on two other forums as it is and they are time consuming...
Boy, are they...
I am not going to Candy Coat my post for you.
I feel you have had enough of that from what I have read here over the years.
People mean well but, sometimes putting it right in someone's face is what is needed!
Forgiveness begins with one's self. I know this because I have always had trouble forgiving myself. I still DO!
('Cutting myself some slack' is another way to put it)
Don is correct that maybe you need another church if that is what you want.
However if you do not forgive yourself then another church might not meet your needs either.
You will end up in the same place you are at now.
How many churches have you been to in your life?...add them up.
If you are having the same problems then I would suggest it is not the churches or more to the point...Others.
It always begins and ends with US...Ourselves.
You are dragging this GUILT around like a rock on your back.
Cut yourself some SLACK. Give yourself a break.
You are beating yourself up.
There is NOTHING in this universe that is unforgivable...NOTHING!
Suicide is NO answer either.
It is NOT an out.
(
I do not say that from a religious point of view. I am not religious or fall pray to ONLY what the bible says.
People can believe what they want...that is their choice.
So do not take this as me judging you or your beliefs.)
If one kills one self then they are just going to take with them what they are trying to run away from.
You have to face your fears.
I firmly believe we all reincarnate and repeat over and over the lessons we are running away from.
Until we get them....until we learn from them.
There is NO Guilt or Judgement after we pass on.
ONLY what we bring with us...
You will see everything you have done after you pass on in a Life Review.
Not only what your perception is or how you feel but EVERYone you have dealt with your whole life in the body you are in now as Juditha.
Don't forget...the JOYS are there too and trust me they will out weight any negatives.
So you will feel how others feel in connection with you.
This is a GOOD THING. Scary I know but, it is a GOOD THING.
I also firmly believe we have done this many, many times.
WE choose to be here. We chose this life we are in for a reason.
Making mistakes is part of the process to learn. Nothing wrong with making mistakes!
I have made more mistakes then I can count.
This last year and a half has been very hard for me.
(My GUILT has been what my family has been through due to my mistakes...see how paralyzing they can be?
See what Fear can do? It can freeze you in one place...afraid to make a move)Everytime I 'thought' I was boxed in and had no where to turn...something broke. Something CHANGED!
I found an 'ANSWER'. I was given a chance. I demanded that chance.
I did not plead for it. I demanded it as my own!
Many people right now are in dire straights.
A lot of it is financial. It has been with me.
Still, somehow/someway I get through it.
Because I CLAIM it as my own.
It is still not easy and trust me I have 'thought' about Ending it ALL.
I never get that far because I know down deep inside it is no answer to my problems.
So get out and ENJOY LIFE. That is what it is meant for.