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suicide i feel must be forgiven (Read 2713 times)

juditha

Ex Member

suicide i feel must be forgiven
Nov 2^nd, 2009 at 3:04pm

hi at the moment i cant see any point to me being here ,ive had enough of suffering,i feel that its now got to stop,i know everyone suffers in their life but mine never stops,i wont do the suicide but i keep asking god to take me over to the spirit world where my dad is as i know that the way im feeling inside and the way im going ,i am having my mom and my sister telling ,me that i will make myself ill anyway so i dont need the suicide thing but i have to say i can well understand why people commit suicide because i have come close very close to doing it myself.

my suffering never stops and i keep asking god why,ive asked for peace inside my soul and i hope god takes it away as ive had enough completely,i see spirit every night in my bedroom and i feel my dad is one of them,i layed there the other night and i saw this spirit looking just like my dad and i put my hand out to him and said "please take me with you dad" but then he faded and left me,i wont commit the suicide,i somehow know that but i wont be sorry when its my turn to go to the spirit world.

love and god bless love juditha

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Ex Member

Re: suicide i feel must be forgiven
Reply #1 - Nov 2^nd, 2009 at 5:16pm

I think that's a good place to be, to be tired of suffering, to have had enough, to be ready to move on and away from suffering, and it isn't an either/or thing where you must leave this world to find your relief, Juditha. It is good that you wrote here what you did, that you feel safe enough to come here and just write how you feel, no matter what it is.

They say it is darkest before the dawn and that is true. I think there is a part of you, Juditha, that wants to be recreated, that wants to come out, but there is something preventing you, a perception of pain, a remembrance of pain, a reality of pain which is impossible for you to ignore. But you are definitely not alone in this.

Where is the light for you, Juditha? When you see spirits at night, where is the light? You deserve to see it, to feel it, to know that it is here for you always.

I know that you are an artist, that you have a vision to offer people which is unique. There is no other you, here on this earth. Even if you are not sure right now, what is the path to go, you are not alone. Keep hope, and never let it go.

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b2 Ex Member	Re: suicide i feel must be forgiven Reply #2 - Nov 2^nd, 2009 at 5:56pm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEyagL-tCnQ&feature=related maybe you will enjoy this, Juditha....
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Terethian

Ex Member

Re: suicide i feel must be forgiven
Reply #3 - Nov 4^th, 2009 at 4:16pm

You need to focus on some happy thoughts about life, the good parts....!!!!!

My cat Salem! He loves me so much and meow's / makes some weird internal sound when I enter. He is all over me rubbing like crazy and he loves it when I head butt him right back! Rubbing his cat scent on me. Then I can move forward while rubbing his head and he will head butt into my chest while I scratch all over his head and oh God life is great!

You need to find the feelings like this and ENJOY them! Things like this make me so happy I can almost forget about the fact that I will die and have a tag on my toe and my body may spasmodically jerk after death and my blood will be drained. Oh God... Kitty? I need you Kitty!!!!!

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recoverer

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Re: suicide i feel must be forgiven
Reply #4 - Nov 4^th, 2009 at 6:07pm

Juditha:

Some sources say things don't become better immediately after a person commits suicide. When we have a body it has a grounding effect that minimizes how much we experience our emotions. This grounding effect goes away after a body dies, and emotions can be felt more completely.

Perhaps it would be better to consider the factors that trouble you (not to suggest that you haven't) and deal with them as best as you can.

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Berserk2

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Re: suicide i feel must be forgiven
Reply #5 - Nov 7^th, 2009 at 4:12pm

Juditha,

You have repeatedly noted that you find no loving acceptance at your spiritualist church. I've pleaded with you before; and now I do it again: please seek out a loving new church or another organization in which you feel loved and accepted just the way you are. If you experimentally visit several churches, I'm confident that you will hit paydirt. Many highly depressed visitors come our way, and are electrified with the loving support and service they receive from our church. I'm sure there are churches like ours in your area.

Research shows that regular church attendance increases life expectancy by an average of 7 years. But it must be a church in which you easily establish close friendships and acceptance of who you really are. A website is no substitute for a loving community, and this website attracts several lonely souls who at one time or another admit to suicidal thoughts like yours.

I also want to say Good-bye and Best Wishes to you, Juditha. This site is wrong for me, and there are other sites better suited to honest and open critical inquiry and sharing of evidence and experiences for the afterlife. And recent reading and paranormal experiences have allowed me to "put it all together" in a more fulfillling and testable way. I need a new website where posters engage me in a way that I can learn from their experiences and insights.

Don

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Old Dood

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Re: suicide i feel must be forgiven
Reply #6 - Nov 7^th, 2009 at 6:26pm

I haven't posted here is quite some time...I just haven't had the time.
I am busy on two other forums as it is and they are time consuming...
Boy, are they... Tongue

I am not going to Candy Coat my post for you.
I feel you have had enough of that from what I have read here over the years.
People mean well but, sometimes putting it right in someone's face is what is needed!

Forgiveness begins with one's self. I know this because I have always had trouble forgiving myself. I still DO!
('Cutting myself some slack' is another way to put it)

Don is correct that maybe you need another church if that is what you want.
However if you do not forgive yourself then another church might not meet your needs either.
You will end up in the same place you are at now.
How many churches have you been to in your life?...add them up.
If you are having the same problems then I would suggest it is not the churches or more to the point...Others.
It always begins and ends with US...Ourselves.

You are dragging this GUILT around like a rock on your back.
Cut yourself some SLACK. Give yourself a break.
You are beating yourself up.
There is NOTHING in this universe that is unforgivable...NOTHING!

Suicide is NO answer either.
It is NOT an out.
(I do not say that from a religious point of view. I am not religious or fall pray to ONLY what the bible says.
People can believe what they want...that is their choice.
So do not take this as me judging you or your beliefs.)
If one kills one self then they are just going to take with them what they are trying to run away from.
You have to face your fears.
I firmly believe we all reincarnate and repeat over and over the lessons we are running away from.
Until we get them....until we learn from them.
There is NO Guilt or Judgement after we pass on.
ONLY what we bring with us...

You will see everything you have done after you pass on in a Life Review.
Not only what your perception is or how you feel but EVERYone you have dealt with your whole life in the body you are in now as Juditha.
Don't forget...the JOYS are there too and trust me they will out weight any negatives.
So you will feel how others feel in connection with you.
This is a GOOD THING. Scary I know but, it is a GOOD THING.

I also firmly believe we have done this many, many times.
WE choose to be here. We chose this life we are in for a reason.
Making mistakes is part of the process to learn. Nothing wrong with making mistakes!
I have made more mistakes then I can count.
This last year and a half has been very hard for me.
(My GUILT has been what my family has been through due to my mistakes...see how paralyzing they can be?
See what Fear can do? It can freeze you in one place...afraid to make a move)
Everytime I 'thought' I was boxed in and had no where to turn...something broke. Something CHANGED!
I found an 'ANSWER'. I was given a chance. I demanded that chance.
I did not plead for it. I demanded it as my own!

Many people right now are in dire straights.
A lot of it is financial. It has been with me.
Still, somehow/someway I get through it.
Because I CLAIM it as my own.
It is still not easy and trust me I have 'thought' about Ending it ALL.
I never get that far because I know down deep inside it is no answer to my problems.

So get out and ENJOY LIFE. That is what it is meant for.

CLICK THIS AND LEARN

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Ex Member

Re: suicide i feel must be forgiven
Reply #7 - Nov 8^th, 2009 at 7:07am

It's easy to get tired, Juditha. I feel bad sometimes when my partner says 'mean' things to me, and I know that it is just a natural reaction, not your fault that you have become discouraged over the years. But you have to remember that the things people ever said about you are lies. They are not true. They never knew you the way they should have known you, they never saw you properly through the eyes of love. But that doesn't mean they get the right to take away your happiness. Or your talents. Or your family. Or your future. I really think, Juditha, that you have to be like a laser beam and just sweep those folks off your plate who don't appreciate you. Just create an on/off button in your mind, and if someone starts giving you a hard time, just kind of like 'bzzzzzzzzzzz-mmmm-no' like an automatic reaction, you just don't listen to it. Kind of like humming in your head, la la la la la la. See, say whatever you want, but I don't hear you, because I'm listening to the sacred song of myself, and it's so beautiful. Right? You can't let them cause you to forget who you are. Those suicide thoughts are lies, too. They aren't really who you are. You are absolutely whole and perfect, and you know it, so don't listen to the bozos who are just jealous of you and your true inner beauty.

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