Bets,
I agree with the tapping of fingers wanting to get on with it, so maybe we'll connect on another topic. Thanks for your kind words, and about learning, right back at you. Take care.

Hawkeye,
"Oh Yes...there's no punishment for suicide, unless you punish yourself. That was it."

Short and sweet. Agreed.

Supermodel,
I hear your 'moving on', and raise it with 'yet you're not moving'. Maybe you too like something you can relate to?

Kids. As a blank page relying on pages with words on them, the beginning of the book is going to make an impact as the story progresses, and those words can stick for a long time while being here, for better or worse. Though blows are softened early on, come adolescence and they bloom too, and an already rough start can get rougher. Having made a choice to have kids, the consequence is an extension of responsibility to include kids as they grow up, to teach them what one has learnt, and show them the way around the block. They will run into the world, the world will run into them, and there will be questions asked, lines to be drawn, laughter to be shared, and tears to be wiped. I don't care for beating oneself up with a suggested punishment, but I care for trying harder, for both the personal victory of getting past an almost all consuming (earthly) difficulty, and being a responsible parent that did his or her very best.

I'm fairly sure I committed suicide at the end of my last incarnation.  I had a lot of recurring dreams about it when I was younger, and I've always had a strong fear of heights and falling.  (The suicide method was jumping off the roof of a house)

While I can't remember a lot in the way of specifics, I *can* say that I don't believe that it solved my underlying problem.  I'm also inclined to believe that I committed suicide in 1974, and came back in 1977; so I didn't spend a lot of time in the Afterlife before being bounced back.

Basically I'd become sick of physical life, more or less in general; and as my natal chart reasonably strongly indicates, there had to be a strong degree of persuasion used to get me to come back this time.  I get the feeling that I was told in no uncertain terms that, while there were acceptable ways of permanently leaving the ELS, if that's what I wanted, suicide wasn't one of them.

I just didn't want to be on Earth at all any more, and truthfully for most of this lifetime, it's been an effort for me to become motivated to interact with other people.  That has been more true than ever before, since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend.  I'm tired of the way people treat each other.  The contemporary idea of normal human behaviour, is where (as one example) an elderly person can collapse in the middle of the road, or get run over, and it will be maybe one in 20 motorists who will stop and help them.

Most people never learn anything, either; it is just the same pattern, over and over again, while the profit motive dominates literally every facet of human existence.  The repetition in that sense, is the main thing I get deeply tired of.  It is both agonising and entirely pointless.

Was I punished?  I'm actually inclined to answer yes, truthfully.  I'm autistic currently, and something tells me that is a punishment for the suicide.  I also had a kidney removed at 13, and I've tended to believe that that happened in order to prevent me from being able to engage in a lot of drug or alcohol abuse, which I suspect I did in the previous lifetime, as well.

I don't know how to engage with other people and have it become something positive, either.  The last several times when I've tried, have generally resulted either in me nearly being killed, or getting into seriously psychologically abusive situations which have only reduced my desire to interact with people even more.

At this point, I'm not focused on too much more than survival, and the limited computer use I'm able to engage in.  Loneliness is gradually becoming more and more of a problem, recently, and I'm not sure how to deal with that yet, either.  I don't think the answer is going to be to try and get involved with someone else again; I've been there and done that, and I am not interested in putting my wellbeing on the line to that extent again.

Petrus and Spooky I can definitely relate to some of the things you've said.

Although I've never had any inkling to what my past life or lives entailed but I've always felt...

1. Why the heck am I here?
2. There is no purpose to life.
3. I hate the way we treat each other here and feel that there is a "better" existence.
4. Why the heck am I here?

Very interesting that many of us here remember our suicides from our past lives. I believe that is possible because of the high emotion connected with the experience. I too remember a personal suicide. When I was a child of around 5 or six. I recall experiencing a memory of hanging myself in a closet. I ended up even playing a game where I repeated the experience. Freaked my mother out when I called her down to my room to find me. After a good butt tanning, I never repeated it. I have always remembered the memory.
Now what of those who kill themselves at an old age? By refusing medication or treatment. Must they also be stuck in the revolving door of reliving the experience until they have a cognition about the effects on others. Or they except that their actions are "bad". Because giving up on life..isn't that suicide also?By having a living will and at the end of your life refusing further medication..isn't that suicide?
No one else owns your life. I believe in the rights of those wishing to end their lives, to do so. The belief that they will end up in a hell for any length of time(?) may well be just "bung". Having killed myself in a past life, I understand that there are lessons to be learned. Mostly about how the event effects others and about love. Some believe that its OK for an older person to kill them self, but not a young person. Is the feeling of loss any less for someone older?
Then there is the point about emotional attachment to those who have moved on by committing suicide. Yes the emotions of others effected can hold a part of them back. It would be most difficult to pass through the aperture, as an example, with an attachment to the phyical. Although it would seem that some here believe that it not possible to progress spiritually it you kill ones self. (I wonder when Bob will ever get fully past the entrance with all the love and emotion that is directed towards him?)

Pratekya,

Your interpretation strikes me as the most likely.  When a discarnate spirit merges with either an incarnate human or an astral projector without their knowing this, the memories of the discarnate spirit are experienced as if they belonged to the percipient. 

Don

Volu: Yes, we could establish a club, but people like us don't establish clubs. It's not easy, but within this state of mind, there are lessons and findings possible, which are impossible to gain for a happy camper.

Hawkeye: I believe there is no general rule. Every case is special. There may be suicides that are okay. In my case I told of, I found the reason why I did it was simply not sufficient: In that life, I had been tired of being poor, always struggling to have enough to eat for my family and myself, it was embarrasing for me, and thought they would be better off anyway if I left them. After I did it, all that became so tiny in relation to the love we shared, and I couldn't believe that I had been so blind not to see that I just had to stay with them as long as possible.

Pratekya and Don, yes, I considered this. I don't know if it actually was a past life of mine. There even is the possibility that this person I attributed as "me" had been someone else, and still "me" in the sense that there is a connection of the disk/higher self sort. I don't know this. Nevertheless, the details of my experience make it seem most unlikely that an imposter just wanted to tell me a story to have some fun. More likely it would be I told me that story myself for some reason. At first, I saw children playing on a meadow. Then I saw a lady, which was familar to me, but I had no memory about her. Then she "told" me that story (which was more like a video) and at the beginning I didn't know what that was about. I then started to feel guilty, and I noticed I am suppressing something, but it more and more dawned on me what it was, until I couldn't suppress it and the story unfold and I accepted and knew, that guy was me, and the lady and the children had been my wife and my children in that life. It took me some days to recover from the emotions and the consequences of this experience. So, when it wasn't a past life of mine, it nevertheless was a significant experience. And we can never find a proof which makes it absolutely certain that a story we experience is a past life anyway.

Spooky

There is also the mass suicide instances. Like in Jones-town. Jim Jones goes off to his hell ...but what of the others who truly believed they would be going to heaven? Why would they go to a hell? Some parents killed their own children. They must end up in hell. But what of the older children. The ones who may have had an small understanding of what was going on. Hell/ heaven? Or the person who at the last moment changed their mind and stepped in front of a bullet in an effort to stop the killing of anouther who was attempting to run away. That's still a suicide. The real fact may be that there is no such areas as heaven or hell. These "areas" could be a figment of our imaginations or as a result of fear based indoctrination by the church. In the experience I mentioned involving my self, I didn't spend any time in hell. I reviewed and came back to have anouther kick at the can. These hells and heavens existence all revolve around the premise of judgment. Worthy of heaven, or unworthy and sent to hell. Could it be the ridiculousness of organised religion attempting to control the minds of the masses and keep their coffers full through fear?