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Ego, igo, yougo... (Read 4590 times)
vajra
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Ego, igo, yougo...
May 24th, 2009 at 4:50pm
 
Hi Justin, just noticed your response to my comments on ego from some time ago. It's maybe worth setting it up as a separate topic - albeit i know that some here are not keen on the term, and it's implications for individual existence and what the afterlife may be.

It isn't my intention to somehow overemphasise ego, and especially not at the expense of love - but for sure I may inadvertently have done so.

Thank you for the input, it's indeed possible to get hung up on this sort of stuff and to make it an end in itself.

That said it's in the framework i'm used to very hard to discuss very much on these topics without regularly referring to it - given that it so comprehensively defines what we define as our 'normal' relative, fear based dualistic or perceived (un-)reality, including the afterlife realms. Reality on the other hand is taught and seems experientially to be quite a separate realm - that of the kingdom of God, or of higher mind - non dual, timeless, absolute and built on the eternal truth of love and not based on individuality or selfhood.

It's not dualistic to talk of these as wholly separate, in that it's taught that they simply don't overlap or blend into each other in any way whatsover. The analogy is perhaps that while we can experience both, we snap between them as in out of a dream and into awakening.

Our task is to remember, to awaken, to return to the latter - to return to being love (as we were before separation from God) rather than living through fear. This process is not one of striving, or of intellectually imagining our way into a new belief system. Striving or conceptual thought towards awakening just builds new belief systems which can be exploited by ego - spiritual materialism.

Most classically in the 'holier than thou' syndrome which ranges from outright fundamentalism to very subtle forms of 'one upmanship' based on projecting apparent spiritual achievement, or using apparently loving behaviours for personal advantage. Even in as you warn Justin in getting hung up on ego.

The process is not one of building a new set of beliefs - it's instead one of stilling the mind so that our true and loving nature as well as guidance from higher mind/the Holy Spirit/other sources shines through. This results from progressively quieting the part of mind that's become invested in the belief that it's an individual fighting to survive in the dog eat dog reality we perceive as being outside of ourselves - the ego. Initially so we can hear guidance and  receive intuitive inputs from higher mind, eventually so that our belief in the whole edifice of self falls away and with it our reality which turns out to be created by ego too - so we return to God/reality/our true nature. To reality.

Spiritual 'progress' (time is also ego made it seems) is a bit of a catch 22 exercise for this reason - progress comes not from building new beliefs, but from stilling the mind. ( which is why striving is counterproductive) Key tools and practices are meditation, insight gained through life experience and training/teaching in a more correct 'view' of life which shows that that which causes is fear is not actually real.

There are practices (like Tonglen) which both train the relative mind to behave in a more loving way, and which eventually become a powerful means of focusing loving intention when enough obscuring beliefs fall away to enable a true opening of the heart

This teaching/training is only a temporary tool (compared to a raft used to cross a river and then left behind in Buddhism), and is itself potentially a trap in that rather than using it to drop mind baggage we can start to cling to it as a prop in life.

ACIM use the term forgiveness to describe the central process of dropping the beliefs and emotional orientations that cause us to cling to/to remain stuck - that prevent our progressing.

Within this framework the part of mind that buys into the belief in selfhood and the relative reality is often described as behaving like a controller operating at sub conscious levels that disposes us to perceive selectively in terms that deepen our belief in these unrealities - fear of death and suffering are the central tools it uses. In the background, and in collective form it actually causes us to perceive what we see as our reality (including the relative levels of the afterlife), but has in fact set up that reality too to keep us fearful - to keep us lashing out at others and as a result suffering. Karma is in effect the means by which it transmits the basic beliefs or orientation from life to life. (through the afterlife)

This controller (which operates at both individual and collective levels) is ego - it's clear in the above framework that it's necessary to transcend ego if we're to return to love, or to become able to truly love. We often mistake ego driven and ultimately selfish motivations for love - in other words it's necessary to progressively become able to clearly see what's ego driven.

My personal view is that ego is not an entity so much as a scheme of programming that causes us to perceive selectively in accordance with the fear based and actually illogical belief systems we all accumulate early in life.

I'd agree entirely Justin that it's unwise to characterise it as monster, or to get hung up on it. That's the way to beliefs in stuff like the devil as a malevolent and independently existing entity that led to such awful wrongs over the centuries. That's not however what ACIM teaches - if it happens it's a consequence of the reader's proclivities.

It's not an easy space to work in, in that it brings us face to face with the need to drop all belief/investment in what we learn/instinctively hold dear about ourselves, and as a result it can inspire deep fear. It's hard to see the wood for the trees - we're in effect required to ignore what our every sense is screaming at us and say 'no', i'm listening to this tiny whisper.

For sure the essential element in the process is forgiveness, or the progressive dropping of beliefs. The development of equanimity.

Is this treatment of ego true? It's by definition not for real as it's basically only a conceptual treatment. What i can say however is that as a framework it provides a very effective set of tools for personal transformation.

As in all things it must be best to use it lightly if it can help, and to discard it when it's of no further service. It's perhaps not for nothing that the great spiritual traditions have for millennia used this framework, and that it crops up all over the place.

Thoughts???
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Justin
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #1 - May 24th, 2009 at 9:45pm
 
  Vajra, one can skate around the issue all they want, but i've read a certain teaching and it talks way too much of the "ego" and the problem.   Too much focus on same.

  If it focused much more on love and what helps us, then i would not speak critically against it at all whether or not i thought it was from Yeshua. 

  Re: the rest of your post, well i noticed that Albert mentioned that it's more helpful to work on more specific limiting and unconsicous aspects, beliefs, and attitudes which are keeping us from opening up more purely and strongly to PUL. 

  I cannot agree more, and i've found that astrology and looking at ones chart can really help in becoming aware of "self" on deeper and more consicous levels. 

   If we focus on a generalized "ego", sometimes we miss these certain aspects, tendencies, unconsicous issues that we as individuals need to work with in order to grow more.   Honestly, it probably would be more helpful for people to learn astrology and study their own charts rather than reading a certain book.

  Certain teachings seem to be distracting in certain key areas, suffice it to say.   I'm all for forgiveness, for Oneness, for love, for compassion, and all these beautiful and true concepts found in same, but i'm not for polarization and i'm for focussing much more on the former than the seeming opposites.

  I'm still interested in the question i've asked you.  Have you tried to directly ask Yeshua, during optimal conditions (deep meditation, with certain affirmations, and feeling a lot of love and graditute), if he was actually strongly involved in this work? 

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Volu
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #2 - May 25th, 2009 at 11:13am
 
Another view on being an individual:

Allowing others to be invididuals - diversity - everyone doesn't have to act/think/talk/dress the same. No need to get others to conform to either your or your group's standards. That's an ego lesson among other things. Being interested in spiritual matters, which I find rare compared to being overly concerned with the body & the daily 3D routine, I think is a test of strength in regards to being an individual. Are you able to allow others to have their 3D pursuit of "happiness" when it turns out that's what they want? Can you stand the heat when those same people want you conform to their pursuit/way of being?

DIY - you don't have to get others to cater for you, and vice versa.

For me that doesn't negate affectional friendships & companionships, and "a little help from your friends". On a deeper level, I believe, don't know yet, that there is a movement towards being source again. But I think there are steps towards it, and not just one step. Think there are more experiences/learning to be made post-Earth before that happens.
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vajra
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #3 - May 25th, 2009 at 3:09pm
 
It seems to me Justin that how we relate to/perceive ACIM's teaching on ego is perhaps a bigger factor than the actual words. I for example don't feel that way about it at all, but there will be others in all possible camps on the topic.

What's already agreed is that it's possible for some to (unknowingly) become hung up on ego. I may even as i've already said unknowingly be in that camp.

To become so identified with a belief is however 100% opposed to both Buddhist and ACIM teaching.

Taken to an extreme we can as i think you are getting at become so heavily identified with a  negative belief about ourself that it becomes a means of reducing our self compassion, and self value. Leading potentially to all sorts of blame and aggression as it's projected on to others.

On the other hand there will also be many who will lightly but very effectively use the ego framework to better understand their own and other's behaviours.

This (a seeming contradiction viewed from some perspectives) is  actually in the end a source of huge compassion for others. While we think people are purposely behaving badly it's tough to not take issue with them, whereas when we understand the unconscious processes and motivations likely at work it's much easier to feel compassion for them and their situation - and so to forgive and offer the needed love and compassion in return.

This isn't nevertheless the route for everybody. It seems to work for me and others of my ilk, and combines very nicely with my own guidance (which isn't Jesus focused in quite the same way as I suspect is yours)  because i tend to process some sorts of stuff (especially to help recognise negative  behaviours i need to become more mindful of if i'm  to drop them) intellectually at first.

On the other hand others (e.g. using differing mixtures of intuition and intellect, and with different life experience and karmic influences) find their way to the same place by other means.

Finding the 'middle' way (the best blend of caring but not caring) seems key, but there's no one size fits all 'right' path.

Excessive identification with negatives presents problems, but so can the opposite. The problem with focusing exclusively on love and avoiding the negative (ego tendencies) in ourselves completely is that it in the end amounts to suppression. With the result that the negative tendencies can remain buried beneath learned behaviours, but still live should circumstances arise to trigger them.

The good news though is that between these extremes there's many routes to unravelling ourselves.

Which is all fine - this is what i was trying to get at with the heading, and what I think Volu is possibly getting at too. We each have to find our own way, and as i've said many times before 'the cows all get to the barn just the same'.
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Lights of Love
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #4 - May 25th, 2009 at 4:52pm
 
Quote:
Excessive identification with negatives presents problems, but so can the opposite. The problem with focusing exclusively on love and avoiding the negative (ego tendencies) in ourselves completely is that it in the end amounts to suppression. With the result that the negative tendencies can remain buried beneath learned behaviours, but still live should circumstances arise to trigger them.


Ian, you've hit the nail on the head with this statement. (I've put in bold.)

Several books have been written (I've not read them all.) for the purpose of in depth detail of what the ego is and how it covers up the fears that lay beneath it. No doubt this has been helpful to many people.

The ego is tricky and has a way of continually being in denial. Its intent is to cover up fear by attempting to protect itself by not taking responsibility for any negative thoughts, actions and deeds. If a fearful/negative thought comes to mind do you push it away or try to think about something more loving? If so, the ego is covering up the fear.

Instead... muster up your courage and let the fearful thought surface. Just be with it and see where it leads you.

K
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spooky2
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #5 - May 25th, 2009 at 8:02pm
 
Isn't it quite difficult to discern whether something you think and/or do is ruled by the ego or not, and then, when you've found out it came from ego, additionally you've got to find out whether it's an appropriate, moderate ego-use or not? Well, ok, no one said it's easy...

As Vajra pointed out, meditation can be a means to decrease the ego and addictions to misleading beliefs. Now, when you calm the mind until you're able to have "no thoughts", there should be something to fill the void. I sometimes find myself in a state where I just sit and stare against the wall as a result of such a no-thoughts-meditation, and somehow I have the feeling that this is not really an outlook to lead a life, or is it? When I see right, in western and eastern traditions, it's actually that way, the more you turn away from the "physical-ego" reality, the more the spiritual side will open up to you and guide you. Sometimes I miss a bit the latter part I must admit.

Spooky
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Lights of Love
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #6 - May 25th, 2009 at 9:03pm
 
Hi Spooky,

Yes, you are correct. It's not always easy. It's a process that requires time and experience. What I've found to be helpful is to try to honestly look at my intent and the result of what I'm creating in my life. If my intent is positive/loving and without any cross-purposes then I know I am acting from a lack of fear/ego.

If our underlying intent seems/feels positive, but is mixed with negative intent this usually shows up in our lack of ability to create what we really want. This intent/motivation is riddled with both positive and negative intent and many times it is the fearful, needy, tricky ego that is getting in the way.

Many times we are so use to our pattern of acting/reacting from an intent that is fearful that we don't even realize we are doing so. It takes a lot of honest self knowledge and understanding, but in general, the areas of your life where things flow smoothly, are where you are coming from a positive/egoless clear intent that is beneficial to your spiritual growth.

Kathy
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Justin
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #7 - May 25th, 2009 at 11:26pm
 
Quote:
. We each have to find our own way, and as i've said many times before 'the cows all get to the barn just the same'.


  Of course Vajra.  But, do you think Retrievals only happen in the nonphysical?   

  Some "cows" get very stuck for very long long periods of time, and i'm not so blase about suffering, for i can really feel it at times.   According to two very good sources that i trust alot, both Bruce Moen and the Cayce work, some get so stuck that they essentially destroy their consciousness patterns and commit a sort of eternal suicide.   So, yes i'm not all that intellectual about this stuff. 

   When i came into this dimension, even at age 4 i was very concerned, aware of, and tapped into the suffering of others--keenly felt it, and saw both that this world CAN change and really should.  This was such a big thing with me, that my father a musician and being very touched by this odd child, sat down and wrote a song with him called Dr. Everywhere.   

  The more people get more involved with limiting belief systems, the longer it will take and the harder it will be for them to get unstuck. 

  "Guides" don't just retrieve people after they die, they are also in the business of retrieving people in physical.  Guides aren't just nonphysically focused either. 

  Re: our friend Volu, he is also one who repeatedly spoken against Yeshua's pattern, example, teachings, and that is something to keep in mind when listening to him. 

  Re: ego and all, again, i'm not saying one should repress or suppress awareness of the shadow within self or others. 

  I'm saying that the idea of ego as some talk about it, is a limiting and not very true one.   

   There are two kinds of ego, one is a collective thoughtform surrounding particularly Earth and humanity, which is concentrated separatism, selfishness, and both unconscious and conscious rebellion against the Creative Forces. 

  The other kind is the individual shadow aspects within our Total self.  It is not a separate entity unto itself, but unconscious aspects within self which yes are based on fear, imbalance, separatism, limiting beliefs/perceptions, and selfishness. 

   As Albert was saying, it is oft more helpful to get to the roots of these more specific aspects within the unconscious, rather than constantly worrying about the big ego entity which is out to get and mislead us. 

  These aspects were developed for various reasons, and in some cases at some point they may have served a helpful purpose, but as we grow and mature more, the more we can drop such limiting beliefs and tendencies for the new wine should not be put in the old wine bag.

  So yes, become aware of one's own shadow aspects and tendencies, but the primary way of transforming or regenerating these, is not to focus on a concept of "ego", but to constantly become aware of, and redirect limiting thoughts, tendencies, and feelings towards those which are healing, expanding, and helpful in essence.  In any case, the primary focus should be on the latter and not on the former.
 
    For example, in one of Bruce's books, he talks about the experience of "seeing it not there" when it comes to a very lacking in light energy and experience he had. 

   I've come to believe a better method than seeing it not there, is instead of seeing it not there, which potentially creates a void, it is better to see PUL in its place. 

  This is what we call a positive focus, and it's the most effective way to transform/regenerate the unconscious and any limiting aspects and tendencies within same.

   I'm going to write another post about hypnosis and the nature of suggestions and changing the subconscious patterns.   Maybe from this perspective you will better see what i'm trying to say.
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Justin
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The subconscious, hypnosis, positive suggestions, etc.
Reply #8 - May 26th, 2009 at 12:03am
 
   Vajra, i've been interested in hypnosis for a long time, and come to believe that it is a powerful tool when used correctly.   It seems that humans, most of them anyways, are far more unconscious than they are conscious to the totality of self and life in general. 

   We have a tendency to think that its our conscious minds where its all at, and that we have full freewill, can choose and change anything. 

  Well that's true...up to a point.  It's the very deep beliefs, patterns, and tendencies within the subconscious or unconscious mind which often rule us and our lives. 

  One effective way to change these subconscious patterns and tendencies, if they are limiting and non constructive in nature is through hypnosis and positive suggestions while in a more relaxed state wherein the unconscious mind becomes more actively receptive and the conscious, intellectual mind becomes more dormant. 

    What is a hypnotic suggestion?   Simple, it's entirely positively stated "fact", and one based around what we WANT/see as helpful/positive and not around what we don't want anymore of. 

  So, if one's fear of water has become limiting and destructive in ones life, then one can change this through hypnosis and positive self suggestions while in a relaxed state. 

   To change the subconscious pattern, you don't tell the latter something like, "you are not going to be afraid of the water anymore."

  This doesn't make any sense to the subconscious mind.  It falls on deaf ears, and if anything it might reinforce the problem rather than the solution for the subconscious mind automatically subtracts the not heard "not" out of the equation, and you're basically telling your subconscious mind "you are going to be afraid of water."

   Instead to really help, you give a positive suggestion like, "Whenever you are in water, you will feel very comfortable, relaxed, and at peace.   You are courageous, brave, and centered in water.  You deeply desire to be in water and deeply enjoy being in it."   See, the focus is entirely on the solution whilst in this receptive/active subconscious state.


  Ok, here's the little leap, connect this to a certain "teaching" and channeled book. 

   It keeps mentioning the problem, along with the solution.  What is it programing?


It's very interesting to note the way and style in which this book is written.  It is written in such a way, through it's constant repetition of the same subject said in slightly different ways, to bore the conscious mind. 

  If one reads this book long enough, the conscious mind will become very "bored", which opens up and makes the subconscious mind much more receptive and impressionable i.e. you are now in a state to be programmed by suggestions.   

   However, as in the first case of the water and the first, negative suggestion, this book has the same affect.   

   The subconscious mind doesn't hear the solution for the emphasis on the problem.   The problem starts to get more programmed in the mind. 

  I have met a few people now who have been involved with this work, who talk much about the "ego" and the problems rather than focusing and emphasizing the solution and what will heal same.   Also instead of focusing on a more real Yeshua via his teachings and example, or through direct guidance, they focus on this supposedly channeled Yeshua.

  It is possible that this book is just another example of another CIA mind control experiment. 

  I have yet to run into a hard core ACIM fan whom i got a strong sense of them being very centered and very loving in a PUL kind of way.  And part of the reason why i sense this is the case, is that i believe this book tends to have a negative influence on people, and fosters imbalance and polarization.   

  When i was reading it, i found myself becoming more polarized, less balanced, and thinking unduly about ego and its influence.  I started to see and focus on ego everywhere, in others, in myself, in life in general.   I was constantly asking myself if this or that thought, intention, or belief was ego/fear based or love  based.

  After awhile, when reading this book i found myself getting really tired while reading same even for a short length of time, and i believe this was a last ditch effort of my Greater self/Guidance to keep me from getting subconsciously programmed while reading same. 

   Then i had a very incisive dream telling me to drop this book because of its polarizing and "ego" programming affect.

  Albert has received numerous messages from his guidance about the non helpful nature of this book and its affect on the subconscious mind. 

  While Albert and i disagree plenty at times, and i know he has lacks, and doesn't always interpret his guidance 100 percent accurately all the time.

I still very much trust his guidance and know he tends to tap into more purely helpful and universal sources, and i do know and trust that he is unusually open to direct guidance like few yet are.   

  So, yeah maybe if he only got one message, i would doubt it and think perhaps he was just misinterpreting, but when you add up that he has received many messages, was open minded enough to read it to begin with, and that i received messages  (that dream, and many deeper but more subtle intuitions) re: its non helpful nature... well gotta go with these rather than the person's perceptions who i've noted time and time again focusing on the problem and sometimes more so than on the solution. 

   

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Volu
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #9 - May 26th, 2009 at 10:49am
 
Justin,
"Re: our friend Volu, he is also one who repeatedly spoken against Yeshua's pattern, example, teachings, and that is something to keep in mind when listening to him."

That's one way to minimalize 'our friend', and a program to 'keep in mind' for the board. Is the U in PUL? Yes, I don't follow masters. I like friends. Any friend who tells me what to do is not a friend, regardless if the wrapping is 'because I know what's best for you'.

Two friends of mine have become jehova's witnesses. I don't like that package at all, but I don't add 'Oh, and she's a jehova's witness, just so you know' when I speak of them. That'd be the ego dressing up as a saviour.
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Justin
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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #10 - May 27th, 2009 at 11:31am
 
Volu wrote on May 26th, 2009 at 10:49am:
That's one way to minimalize 'our friend', and a program to 'keep in mind' for the board. Is the U in PUL? Yes, I don't follow masters. I like friends. Any friend who tells me what to do is not a friend, regardless if the wrapping is 'because I know what's best for you'.

Two friends of mine have become jehova's witnesses. I don't like that package at all, but I don't add 'Oh, and she's a jehova's witness, just so you know' when I speak of them. That'd be the ego dressing up as a saviour.


  For guidance, it's not about control or power over another.  It's just that there is such a thing as being stuck, and there are those that who are not stuck who want to help out those who are stuck.   What's wrong with that?  So what they give them suggestions on how to help themselves?   I gotten many such suggestions from my guidance and when i actually listen to them and follow their advice, lo and behold my life changes for the better.

  Re: what i said earlier, i should have been more specific about what i meant. 

  Here's an analogy: say there is a guy who is into mathematics.  He read about the theories and work of this other mathematician whom many, many other mathematicians think are so accurate, so holistic, and advanced as to have changed the whole mathematical world--indeed this particular mathematician has had a powerful and obvious affect on the world of mathematics, though some have misunderstood and twisted his theories to represent something else. 

  Yet, the first guy into mathematics tries to convince all the other mathematicians that this guy was a crack pot and don't listen to him, nor pay attention to his work, as there is something inherently flawed with same.  He has repeatedly pointed to what appears to him to be flaws in this mathematicians work.

   Now, sure it's possible that this guy might be onto something, but some of the mathematical stuff he promotes is rather obviously flawed (to many mathematicians) and the other mathematicians can clearly see that though the guy himself seemingly cannot. 

  Now this guy might be quite perceptive, and have plenty of accurate, helpful, and constructive beliefs and perceptions in many other areas.  He has things of worth to contribute certainly. 

  But as a fellow mathematician,  i wouldn't want him teaching a mathematics course at my University, and it's really nothing against him as a person, nor any personal dislike or looking down on him, it's just that some of his beliefs and perceptions re: mathematics are a bit stuck or off.   

   This is kind of the view i have when folks are addressing concepts and threads of ego and spiritual growth, but have so minimalized, denigrated, and marginalized both the teachings and example of Yeshua whom was all about spiritual growth and strengthening/focusing on PUL so that "ego" eventually starves to death.   

  I just think perhaps they are not the most helpful people to be speaking on this particular topic, though they may be very perceptive about any other number of other topics and i see plenty good in them in general.  This is something that those who Do hold Yeshua, his teachings and example in high regard might want to consider when listening to such a one on this topic.  Since i know that Vajra does, i pointed out that you don't. 

  So i would like to change what i said to be more reflective of what i meant, and i meant what i said in a more specific way. 

  Plenty of people "think" or feel this way about others, but because of various social fears, they might not say what they really feel and think.   Or, they think what they really feel and think might hurt that person and so they withhold out of a kind of compassion, or it might be a mix of the above two (after all, people and their intentions/motivations are rarely black and white). 

I didn't get the latter sense with you, that you would be hurt by my words, and to me that indicates something positive and growth related about you i also think.

  I would think you of all people would appreciate someone being direct and frank about how they really think and feel?

  Let's not keep those shadow aspects under wraps, lest that others cannot help as reflective mirrors. 

  It is oft better to be sincerely and openly negative than it is to be outwardly, surfacely and fakely nice, supportive, and so called "positive" when in the back of our minds we are thinking or feeling not so nice, supportive, and positive thoughts about a person. 

  It's the latter kind of people who rarely regenerate their limiting and non constructive tendencies because they don't tend to see it themselves for its unspokenness/hiddenness AND because others don't tend to call them on it unless they are rather psychically perceptive and can see through the mask charade. 

Honestly, openly, and yes not always 100 percent positively,
Justin






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Re: Ego, igo, yougo...
Reply #11 - May 29th, 2009 at 5:41pm
 
Justin,
Condensed: I've said I don't like your master, and you don't like that. - When you step into my ego/I garden by talking about me, I will blah blah blah and reply to that without conundrums. What's noticeable though is that guidance in this case is a lighter word to make the word warning shine a little brighter, as your guidance wasn't asked for.

About the metaphor, well, the board's not your university, nor is it a yeshua university as I've read. If it is, it should be clearly stated in the heading. If yeshua isn't happy about my opinions, he's free to speak up about it.

What is obviously flawed to many doesn't mean something's flawed. Many choose to ignore spirituality, and focus mostly on the body instead. That doesn't make the many hold the truth, it makes them hold a choice. And that the other mathematicians, many again - might makes right, can clearly see that, though an individual cannot; maybe it's the many who yet cannot see some of the clues about the nature of the polarities.

To more fully experience the light side, the no matter what letter in PUL can be explored. The word sounds nice but is polarity-speak for polarized. When confronted with darker elements, they love being loved when wrecking havoc, they're loving the docile go-ahead. The pinky finger, and then the whole hand and so on.

Anyways, I do appreciate that you aren't being fake nice, and I like your thoughts on that subject.
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