First off I'm new here to the forums. Why am i here? Well let me tell you, try to keep up and try not to laugh please. One night fairly recently i watched a movie called Twilight. Yes i know, vampires, immortality, forever love etc etc. But i thought it was a nice movie like so many others I've seen before and just moved on. But then later the following day i was having anxiety, sadness, emptiness. Signs of depression, which was confusing to me because i had no worries that were apparent at the time or prior. So i began trying to figure out what was keeping me so down. Since nothing of significance came to mind, I thought maybe the movie i saw the night before affected me. So i decided to watch it again later on and a bunch of things stirred up inside me in a very big way. Some of which i felt when i saw it the first time but thought it was normal. but something hit me hard, I came to realize that no matter how good my life is/was (It's fine BTW), I would never have that life, that particular experience. My thoughts and feelings betrayed my personal belief.

My faith/belief since childhood (never forced onto me) was unique. In my personal faith I thought that we all go to what many call God and connect with family and friends and that it was a place that unlike the Real Life, anything can happen and its real as the life we left behind. I thought i had the power of choice. To do whatever I desired etc. to create another life of my choosing so to speak, no matter how weird, fantastic or ordinary it may be. To me the most powerful thing in life was choice, so that was the basis of my faith since as long as i can remember.

But that all crumbled down since i watched Twilight. I realized I'll never be Edward Cullen and fall in love with Bella and go through that journey. That fact just hurt me right to my very existence. Could i recreate those feeling in Real Life? Sure, but it wouldn't be the same. But i have NEVER wanted something so badly. This movie has changed me for the worst. People will tell me to suck it up, deal with it, or simply "your crazy, you should seek professional help". Maybe i should, but it won't change the way i feel, only ways to cope with it.

But in search for help i came across a few forums about afterlife or the paranormal. All people there were nice and all but never really helped me. Then i came up to this site and read all i can, except the books and such. It has helped me some but my logical side doesn't want to lose the argument that its not possible. Forgoing that thought, Is my belief wrong? Am i wrong in wanting something else in life or the next life even if mine is fine? Will my desires/dream become "real" after i leave this life? My belief has helped me with life's difficulties before, but its slipping from me. I wish i never saw the movie   .

Anything will help at this time, I'm in such a low place. And i know I'm asking a lot. Thanks for reading.

Greetings, and welcome 

Comfortable living bores our souls into the doldrums. It may be that your soul got pricked back awake by the heightened poingancy and pathos of that film.

Art [films etc] emphasize  certain emotions and ideas in order to get us to focus on them. Through that film you received a double-whammy dose of emotions and ideas that had been covered over, it seems.  Life and art are different in that life jumbles alot of unrelated experiences together that we have to sort our way though.   

Ok, now that your soul is awake, what to do with it? If you are surrounded by loving people you are very fortunate and may not want to toss them away while you go looking to live the plot you saw. However you can feed your soul in other ways.

Souls like beauty, love, and truth. I found those in learning to go into non-physical realms and help souls there, the Bruce Moen approach.  Or you might find it by getting involved in an art form --painting, photography, etc. Various spiritual paths combine the aspects of beauty, love, truth in different ways.And/ or maybe reading about the soul itself will appease it; (Jung's psychology helps with this.)

Change is natural to life as they both are flows of energy. Change can be adding and enriching our lives without destroying what we have.

Bets

Hi Sidey, Welcome. I don't find your desire to wish for a life like this Edward person portraies and to fall in love with Bella strange at all. Isn't that what we all would like. To fall in love? To experience love in our lives? The girls seeking a strong, protective person who will watch over them and do what ever is nessassary to carry on their love experience. Or the man, watching over his love,. Giving that protection and in receipt getting the love. (Doesnt hurt that the actors are good looking and attractive to others also. Notice they never get zits, or have to pee?) Now you might not end up being a vampire, but love, there is a darn good chance that you will find it at some point in your life. Real love, not fantasy as what you see at the movies or on TV.The movie its self is successful because it does evoke emotional responses in its audience. Mostly younger viewers. I know my daughter loves the TV show as well. Its important to remember that its just a show. There is quite a bit of doubt about the existence of  real vampires, although some individuals who are perhaps a little confused get involved in cults or with others that don't understand that these thing are derived from fantasy. They can get pretty screwed up and easy for mentally stronger people to control. Here in Canada we just had some kids arrested for steeling some goats and killing them in some sort of ritual. I know, that you know, whats right and whats wrong, so that isn't going to happen with you. As for your belief in the afterlife, its not so strange or differant that mine. Its going to be just as I imagine it will be. Just like you create your experience here, you will there, as well.

moonsandjunes, In a way yes i feel guilty because the rational side of me says that its foolish to think or desire for such things. Whats preventing me? I don't know, I guess I just think it won't be possible at least not in "Real Life". Which is frightening me because deep down I was fine with that before. But since watching the movie the emotional part of me tried to override that fact, causing me to be in a weird place.

recoverer, you are saying that I'm picking up another limited belief system? In which way? Because I now think that certain things aren't possible as opposed to before? Will that hurt me in the long run? A professional would just say that I'm "coping with reality" or something.

hawkeye, your right i know the difference between the right and the wrong. But that doesn't seem to stop what I desire, even the imaginable it seems.

spooky2 you are good. If I could get go back and say to myself after watching this particular movie: "I would love that and I will eventually have that" Then I probably would be in a better place and content with my belief. But after watching it dawned on me that scientifically it's not possible and that was like putting a dagger through my heart so to speak.

This has helped me a lot, thanks all for the replies. But unfortunately I don't like the fact that It won't be real like this life is real, If it is possible for me. Or am I limiting the way it will be for myself? I guess I take the word "nonphysical" literaly and It goes beyond my understanding. Like reincarnation to me seems pointless and meaningless because you don't have the choice of what you want, but are just reinserted into another life and do your best (again). BTW I hope no one here thinks I'm clincally depressed or anything like the other forums. I'm just looking for answers or anything that will help me with this personal issue. I never though that this would happen to me, maybe a mid-life crisis down the road, but not this.

It's an excellent movie.

Quote Sidey: "I don't like the fact that It won't be real like this life is real, If it is possible for me. Or am I limiting the way it will be for myself? I guess I take the word "nonphysical" literaly and It goes beyond my understanding."

Vivid/lucid dreams and OBEs feel no less real than the physical reality. Often it's a reality with different laws, but sometimes it's so similar to the physical that one barely notices a difference. So it might be possible to be projected into a precisely planned plot. I don't know it though. If you are familiar with "retrievals" you know that the retrievees exist inside their own thought-form environment. To them, it's absolutely real. I don't know for certain what's all possible and what is not, but I think we can't be sure that something is impossible.

Spooky