That's very true R. We almost all have a way to go it seems, and as a result we are to varying degrees prone to heading into more or less egotistical territory without being aware of it.
The point is not that the intellect or intellectual discussion has no role to play - rational judgement aided by the sort of intuitive knowing that emerges over time is critical. Otherwise we are lost.
But there are many forms of ego driven relating to the intellect.
- Our society, pace of living and what has become the prevailing scientific and philosophical dogma tend to value linear intellectual (relative and hence limited) logic above all, and conditions us in all sorts of way to default to that mode of understanding.
- Most of us struggle to exist with internal silence - our rush to entertainment/diversion/ease of boredom is in essence an ego driven urge to fill this space.
- Many of us use our intellect as a tool to dominate others.
- Many of us become addicted to the process unravelling intellectual puzzles.
- Many of us have a tendency to see the speed of our mind accelerate without being aware of it. With this loss of mindfulness comes the risk of sliding into 'vibe changing' behaviours.
- We can as you say even turn apparently 'spiritual' or 'loving' behaviours into ever more subtle forms of self aggrandsement - spiritual materialism is the term i've heard used. We may even like to have others come on to us in this way, in that it's representative of what traditional religion has often made seem normal.
One problem is that the intuitive knowing/feeling/seeing that leads to spiritual development is drowned out in the resulting clamour of excessive internal dialogue. Our task is to balance and integrate this knowing with the intellect - it's not a case of either/or.
So it's a very subtle balance, and one not easily understood - let alone a place often found in practice. Study and intellectual engagement have their place, but easily are hijacked by ego to take us into spaces like the above.
It makes perfect sense to seek to gain a broad understanding of our experience, in that it helps accelerates the process of growth. But it's unlikely that we're going to ever in our lifetime bottom an objective understanding that is better than a partially true one sided perception of what's going down. That's not to say it's impossible, but guess what - if we realise this it's unlikely to be an intellectual understanding and much more likely an intuitive knowing.
So it's better not to let this quest grow into a lifetime diversion up what's likely to be a dead end, or to become a quest, or lose its lightness and sense of fun and adventure. The compulsive urge to know and understand rather than to trust and go with the flow of life is yet another symptom of our basic problem.
As above i offer this only as my rather poorly put take on what are pretty standard spiritual teachings. I make no claim whatsoever to have somehow transcended this problem myself - this i recognise as fact. I have to apologise if i seemed to be targeting anybody, because that was not the intention - i haven't even been around enough in recent months enough to do more than get a flavour for what the vibe is.
Even more fundamentally we cannot be what we are not. Acting out some sort of pious 'spiritual' pattern of behaviour will get us no where either. There is however a lot to be gained if each of us can recognise that this is a valid risk, do our best to gain a feeling for where the balance lies and act accordingly - because if we're undisciplined and unthinking in our actions the effect on the vibe and degree of sublimated aggression and competition can escalate like of a spark coming in contact with an inflammable material.
This might mean stuff like: maintain a high degree of mindfulness of our behaviours, seek always to remain gentle - doing our best not to intensify the vibe. Be open to and responsive if others hint that maybe we could tone it down a little. And perhaps most of all try to raise issues out of our actual life situation and experiences rather than because they just happen to tickle our intellectual fancy.
From the other side its important that when one or more of us does get 'carried away' (like me)
that we observe, act precisely if required, and out of a wishing to do what's best for all do our best not to get sucked into reactive responses.
Please pardon me if i seem to be lecturing, or the pot is calling the kettle black. I just felt that as somebody that's not been posting lately i amounted to a relatively neutral observer.
I'll go away now.....