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How about this one? (Read 2820 times)
sulla
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How about this one?
Mar 24th, 2009 at 2:15pm
 
This was a strange one.  Starts out kind of murky, but ends strong and vivid. 

Fist memory: I was standing in front of something.  Not sure what it was.  Have a sense it was both large and small.  Someone standing near to me but out of sight says something I don’t catch, but the last word they say is loud and clear, “cogzilla.”  I suddenly understand everything and the dream changes.  I do not remember what it was I ‘understood.’

The next dream: I am standing outside a two story building at night time.  I do not recognize the place but I know it is empty and was a place of learning yet not a school as we think of them.  More of a community place with government-style authority.  It is in disuse with windows knocked out and no electricity.  There is a young man on the roof.  I know he is some one who feels hopeless and dejected.  I know he will jump off with the intention of killing himself.

I call something up to him without using my mouth (mentally shouted?)  Something to dissuade him from jumping, but before I am done ‘shouting’ I already know it is too late.  He tumbles forward, head first, over the edge of the roof.  He hits the rubble strewn ground head first and rolls around a bit before coming to a stop.  Other than a bruised and pained head, he is fine; sad that he did not accomplish his goal, but fine.

I feel pity, and throw my arm over his shoulder.  I tell him he can come home with me.  He nods and we go.  Once there (at my parents’ home where I grew up) I sit him down on a seat on the enclosed porch.  I get him to look at me (he still has slumped shoulders and bowed head) and I tell him he can stay with us (my family.)  It is implied that the world is not what it used to be and to be alone is very difficult in survival terms.  I tell him this and he starts to look a little hopeful. 

In a calm voice and with sternness in my being I also tell him that to be part of the family, he will need to work.  To pitch in and earn his way with us, just like the rest of the family does.  He slumps again and begins to loose interest.  I already know he is not going to do it, being too lazy and depressed to try.  He only wants to mooch and be taken care of.  I feel resigned sadness and a realization that I cannot help him and I need to let him go on his own even though it pains me to do so.

I wake up remembering what I just told you.
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sulla
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Re: How about this one?
Reply #1 - Mar 24th, 2009 at 2:18pm
 
I feel like I am supposed to learn something from this and that the word ‘cogzilla’ means something to me.  Or will at some point.  I googled it (even image google) and found three main things: 1. a well known hockey player with the nickname Cogzilla, 2. someone’s custom green and tan motorcycle nicknamed cogzilla, and 3. a specific genus of cannabis!
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spooky2
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Re: How about this one?
Reply #2 - Mar 24th, 2009 at 8:15pm
 
I found the scene with the guy on the roof at the abandoned learning place quite intense. It's an image of hopelessness. There is no learning anymore, no future. Could mean this guy just can't find anything he's interested in. Or that one section in his life is completed, and now he's in the black hole of after-having-accomplished and nothing new in sight. This, and the rest shows a typical heavily depressive one. That you cared such about him, and the part with your family home makes me wonder who this guy is? If someone in specific is meant by this? Or maybe if it is you, or an aspect of you?

Spooky
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"I'm going where the pavement turns to sand"&&Neil Young, "Thrasher"
 
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sulla
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Re: How about this one?
Reply #3 - Mar 25th, 2009 at 8:49am
 
Thanks for the insight.  I hadn’t thought about the scenery in any way other than verification of the dream being very vivid. 

I honestly feel like this guy is a part of me.  It felt like I was connected to this person but only in a sort of distant way.  Like I knew he was me, but a part of me that is no longer holding sway over my life.  A part me of me I don’t like, and don’t want to have much if any contribution to my life.  And the other part of me, the one who tried to help this sad person and bring him into the ‘family,’ may have been an attempt at reconciliation of parts of me into the whole?

Maybe I want this part of me to stop being the way he is, to be more like the emerging, stronger, compassionate worker me?  Perhaps I just want this to be the right interpretation.

I don’t feel depressed.  I’ve been down every now and again; who hasn’t? But I’ve never felt hopeless like this guy obviously was.  At least not that I’ve ever noticed.

Feels like stretching a little bit, but it fits.  It fits emotionally too.

And the scenery… now that I have a different perspective, The building felt very familiar but I didn’t want to have anything to do with it, in a passive accepting manner.  Not avoidance.  Like I had accepted it as a part of the neighborhood I lived in; an eye-sore not to be ignored, but to accept.  And my parent’s home is often the setting of dreams where I am at peace or am comfortable and feel safe.
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betson
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Re: How about this one?
Reply #4 - Mar 25th, 2009 at 10:10am
 
Greetings,

If it is a part of you and you say it will mean something at some point, then I wonder if you have friends who want you to get more involved with 'cogzilla' marijauana, ?? I wonder then if it is a dream to prophesy the effects marijauna might have on you? A warning?

Bets
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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare
 
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sulla
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Re: How about this one?
Reply #5 - Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:57am
 
I don't touch the stuff, and don't plan to.  My friends and family are very clear where I stand on that issue.

I got more hits on google for the hockey player though. Maybe I should take up cold-weather sports? Wink
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spooky2
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Re: How about this one?
Reply #6 - Mar 25th, 2009 at 10:28pm
 
So it might be you have reached a balanced healthy state, in which you are able to become conscious about aspects/parts/other existences of you. Maybe it's just that, a become-clear-about-myself dream, without any warning or urge. If so, it will make you even more balanced.

Spooky
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"I'm going where the pavement turns to sand"&&Neil Young, "Thrasher"
 
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