Forgot to add money and car issues to the list.
Anyways more specifically re: what you picked up. P.M. wrote,
Quote:I also received a rote: There was an amusement park, with child playing. Everything was colourful... I heard a voice saying: "Justin don't like colors, he only want white light".
I feel you're not enjoying life (colors) as it should... and you may be too much focused on the spiritual (white light). You may be too hard on yourself (self-choking) and that create anxiety that lower your energy level.
There is a lot of truth to this perception, and some to the interpretation of same.
I enjoy physical life and colors just fine usually, but i never forget that they are ultimately illusions and stepping stones to the White Light which i perceive as representative of Source attunement and Christ Light (sometimes takes on a golden hue) i.e. our true Home and purpose.
Your source is very right in that, all i want now is to return Home and to become that kind of ultimate Retriever. As Linn's reading seemed to indicate, this life has a pretty good shot at this and its something i've known about for awhile now and i and my Disk have been anticipating.
I'm done with the distractions (colors), and the amusement park. I'm not a child anymore, and am firm in the desire and intention to not get off track again. Everything in self and in life is gearing towards Source attunement, PUL, and Christness. This oft requires a lot of discipline, testing, challenge and overcoming of same. Tension and friction help to cleanse and speed up the vibrations when used aright.
Your interpretation of the info is a bit off in that you seem to indicate that i take it all too seriously, don't enjoy life, etc. I know its hard to tell on this site, but i have a very playful, humor oriented, and spontaneous side to me, and with my both strong Fire and Venus energy i usually enjoy life quite a lot. It is hard to be joyful without both a spirituality and a combo of strongly conscious Fire and Venusian side.
Just the other day, my supervisor (who is also a personal friend) and i while at work during some down time, spontaneously decided to go outside and go sledding and we had a blast. I have a very childlike side to me in that sense of being very open, spontaneous, and carefree at times. Some people rolled their eyes when i brought my heely's to work and rolled around on them, but hey i was having fun and didn't care what they thought of it or me.
I've met some spiritual students who lacked
conscious Fire in their charts, and boy did it show in their over seriousness, dour attitudes, and general lack of spark or that intense life energy that Fire represents.
Those with Fire sign Risings with the ruler of same with strong harmonious aspects, or with otherwise strong Fire energy connected to their Rising (especially when Sun and/or Jupiter, and/or Leo and/or Sagittarius) and who try to live by spiritual ideals and beliefs, tend to be the most joyful, playful, and alive kind of people around.
Astrologically i very much fit under that with Leo Rising with Sun (symbolic ruler of Leo) CON Mercury trine Mars Jupiter CON and with strong Venus (slower octave Heart energy). But at the same time i'm born with the more dour, disciplined, and serious Capricorn Sun and Virgo stellium--usually its a good balance between seriousness/focus/intensity/discipline and playfulness/spontaneity/light heartedness.
Another example, i've worked with children a lot, because we tend to get along very well with each other and i really enjoy their company because of their greater degree of openness and joy as compared to many adults.
Lately because of the various outer challenges and stresses--i've been a bit too tipped to the over serious, over "tight", and over disciplined. I need to relax a bit more.
I will talk about the actual physical problem in another reply: No one seems to have picked up on it, and even an intuitive i've consulted in the past with some good/accurate results was off on reading it--i've noticed i'm not the easiest person to read for whatever reason(s). Re: this particular issue, I was confused by it for awhile myself.