Recoverer,
"It isn't a matter of what love demands. It is a matter of what a person needs to do in order to experience and live according to love."
Needs to, and live according to, for me signifies demand (control). But I'm aware this is on the brink of heading into the world of hair-splitting.
"If a person makes rationalizations for self-centered activity, he or she will define his or her self accordingly."
In my experience some folks who say they want greater good, service to others, when explaining what that means to them, they say others are wrong and want to save (control) them.
Random kindess, like helping an old geezer across the street, without a need for an audience to see it, is cool, but I think sometimes an action is made in the hope that somebody will like you better, not because you're love incarnated.
"For example, if for the sake of physical pleasure a man decides to define women as pieces of meat to be used sexually, how will he be able to experience their spirit selves?"
Lust - lacking the spiritual/mental connection. An experience, and yet the greater self is still the greater self, and an exp. females are as likely to have as males. A white t-shirt with puppies and a heart on it doesn't tell the whole story.
"Perhaps there is something to the as you sow so you reap principle. Many people who have found themselves in lower realms after their death, have found this principle to be true."
Well, maybe it's sort of like they made wooden horses that turned out to be quite shite, and that's their responsibility, but they learnt a lot from making the first ones, and can now use that knowledge making other ones.