vajra
Ex Member
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Who knows indeed. But the the teaching is that he sought release from suffering through an end to grasping (the pursuit of that deemed pleasurable, and the avoidance of that deemed unpleasant - through the replacement of these with equanimity towards all happenings), which entailed the dropping of attachment to self. (you care deeply about everything that may affect you if you are attached to self, and become prone to justifying all sorts of selfish actions)
This entailed training the mind through endless meditation, and practices leading to the dropping of cares about personal comfort or anything else - in the hope that ego (the whole belief system as to the existence of an objective self, soul and reality that follows from the mistaken perception that there is a self to be fearful about) and the karmic effects it gives rise to via the creative capability of mind would atrophy.
In this sense you could say he was actually avoiding focusing on anything - that he was groping towards what turned out to be the letting go of everything existing within this dream reality and existence as illusion. Actually seeking to awaken from the dream to return to the absolute or non dual existence outside of it.
The story goes that he determined to achieve this or die, and tried all of the usual sorts of extreme methods of fasting and so on that were taught in his day. But along the way discovered that excessive zeal is counterproductive, and becomes a trap in itself.
e.g. it leads to caring about the objective. If the personal objective is all that matters, then all kinds of unloving and other behaviours that lead deeper into suffering for the self and others can be justified - this is a subtle form of attachment to self.
The other interesting aspect of his life was that coming from a background where for all of his very unhappy early life he had wealth beyond dreams, and was protected from exposure to all forms of suffering by being imprisoned by his father in a palace he learned that the usual pursuit of material wealth does not lead to happiness either.
As a result of his experience he taught a 'middle way', one that seeks release by lightly threading between the polarities in any issue, and seeking a higher, more loving, more developed view.
Hence Buddhism is known as the middle way.
The later Mahayana schools (perhaps risking excessive intellectualisation of what is essential a process of emergence - getting overly attached to intellectual views blocks the process as above) developed more detailed representations of what this higher view means - most especially how the dropping of attachment and intellect (development of equanimity, or the forgiving of everybody and anything as ACIM teaches) leads to the emergence of wisdom, compassion and the other higher ways of being that enable loving behaviours.
Deepak Chopra has a very readable but also very insightful life of the Buddha out now - the title is 'Buddha'. It explores many of these issues in the telling of the story, and finishes by setting out the teaching in a more explicit manner. Well worth the read....
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