Hi,

Sometimes, I still do not feel good.

I am probably being anoying, but I cannot shake the subject away.

I so much need to get verifyable proof the afterlife and its order. I believe doubt disrupts my natural harmony.

Also, I am afraid. I made mistakes in the past (meaning I hurt people's feelings), not because I wanted it, but because I lacked knowledge on emotional matters (which I probably still do).

Having the idea, that I will see that again in some life overview makes me feel terrible, especially because I did not experience forgiveness after I asked it. (Nobody ever asked forgiveness for the bad they did to me, which I don't think is very fair). I am very much afraid, to do something that will cause hurt again, and at the same time, I don't want to live in fear, because I want to learn.

I don't know what to think. I hear many versions of the afterlife, and I would finally like to know, if I am gonna get punished for that or not.

I would so much like to know it through experience. I would like to know it deep down, and not just mentally.

I am not sure what to do about this, but it keeps bothering me.

Sonia