Member unknown wrote on Sep 26^th, 2008 at 8:12am:


I liked that one too Sonia. it's similar to what JC said before crucifixion "forgive them father for they know not what they are doing."

hawkeye wrote on Sep 29^th, 2008 at 2:26pm:


As a person, I can honestly say that I lived in hate for about 15 years.

It is not that I wanted it, it is just that I had no knowledge to know anything better. My hate came from fear not to be lovable enough and I hated anything that would cause me not to have love, because I feared lack of love most of all.

One day, I hated somebody so much it erased any other feeling. I decided it was not what I wanted, but the major problem remains that you are trapped in ignorance. Because ignorance is the real trap.

I tried to find somebody who would love me and understand me enough, to see the real me through that hate and help me get rid of the hate, BUT I was excluded because of my attitude (due to hate). The more I got excluded, the less love I physically saw and the less love I saw, the more I hated. It became a vicious circle.

I decided one day, since nobody wanted to help me out of hate, that nobody loved me sufficiently AND that I would do the work myself of destroying the hate.

Everyday I kept thinking why I hated, drilling in my thoughts, trying to destroy the root of the hate. I tried to stop existing, tried to control my thoughts, etc... I tried everything to the point of despair.

I tried everything for 10 years, to testify what it is like, for others who cannot testify.

I was called evil, bad...by the people who I wanted love from and I called them evil and bad for not loving me enough to help me, for letting me down (and ignorant) while I was trying so hard not to be hateful. I did not understand how they wanted me to act with knowledge of love, since I had none. I had the feeling I was asked to do an inhuman effort, to give something -- a feeling -- I could not create and did not possess sufficiently for them to judge me worthy of their help.

It costed me more than 10 years to vanquish hate on my own. Nobody told me to do it. Nobody helped me and somehow I pitty the one who excluded me, because I know that they want understanding when they are in trouble, just as I wanted it back then.

Now, I want to give love to those who excluded me, because I don't want to act like them. I asked for their forgiveness, and was NOT given it.

This is my testimony to you.

This is why I want to learn, because I need to fight ignorance.
This is why I write to you.

I'ld even beg you to help me out of ignorance if that is what it takes.

Sonia

thank you Juditha for more info. I too have research on other lives to undertake, but have been procrastinating on that.

I guess I'm having too much fun concentrating on this creature who is alysia. I'm having fun, I must admit, but the growth gets pretty intensive sometimes...for all of us. I can feel other people's emotions. I have to make sure it's mine, or another persons.

Bets, I thought that was good advice for S. and u reminded me how important it is to pretend.

I remember many jobs I undertook, with no experience and how I just plunged into it thinking well, they said fake it until you make it.
that's like pretending you actually know what you're doing.

somehow just that little bit of courage, to pretend I could do the job, whatever it's requirements, and with no particular training, I learned fast, due to necessity. and I was just pretending at first I could do it.
We are able to learn whatever we need to learn by just going ahead and doing it.

And when I was young, I needed to believe in God. I was all alone with no one in my family who I could talk to. Mother did not bond with me. I was an unwanted child. so I needed God. some children pick an imaginary playmate. I picked an imaginary God.

I told him all my problems. God said I would grow up, this too would pass. God always had the right thing to say.
but it really wasn't pretending. I just knew someone or something was listening to me, and loved me also.

Pretending is very important as it takes us beyond doubts into something we need very much. to know that we can persevere despite all odds to the contrary. or appearances to the contrary, because most of what we see on the outside of us, is simply an appearance, an image, perhaps even a lie, or an illusion.

we all know, you can't believe everything you're told. Yet if it comes from within what you are told, as a knowing, then we can fly on that inspiration.
I have another definition for ignorance. it comes from the word to ignore.
the opposite of ignoring is focusing.

ignorance is also like apathy. the opposite of apathy is enthusiasm.

at this time of the century, I am enthused, as those energies are upon the planet as we will see many changes shortly, and perhaps in the blink of an eye.

There is no need to be angry with others who ignore that there is pain and suffering, and lack of love around this planet. it is that their focus is not on oneness, nor love.

they are focusing in another direction and ignoring perhaps your own focus point. It does not mean they wish to oppose you personally. they are only interested in their own focus point.
None of us have reached the apex of our loving capabilities,

but we can get an idea what that apex looks like, by not looking so much as ones like Hitler, or saddam, but looking to those who have left their legacy on the earth planes that others have benefitted by.
because in every case, these were enthused, inspired, and loved what they doing.

then I assume the act of loving what you are doing is satisfying enough that there is no time to be thinking or feeling hateful thoughts.

Yes people

I agree with all the thoughtful comments before this post. And it strangely

A very long long line up of dominoes appeared in my mind.

One little push of love on the first domino can result in a million dominoes falling over or being effected by that love given to the first domino.

This lead me to googol dominoes and the longest line of dominoes lined up and made to fall over with the initial light push on the first is nearly 4 000 000  4 million. It makes one think how one good act of love and kindness can have the domino affect, unfortunately so does an act of hate

Take Care

Alan

Alysia.

Maybe you are right; love is passed to person to person. But what about the hateful ideas in despots like Stalin, were his ideas not pushed into the Russian peoples?, for instance when normal innocent Russian people were arrested for noting and transported like cattle to work as slaves until they died in he Siberian gulags

Of course we must not bring up that ultimate egotistical despot Hitler again I think we have devoted enough to him on the forum already.

A person like Jesus did push over the domino of love and his truth about love reverberated down the ages (with much self interpretation leading to appalling atrocities.

Love

Alan

I don't have answers for you Alan, not on a forum where we mostly keep it short and to the point (yea right!) cough.

all I know is my own path. In my path, anger is never justified. self responsibility for what we feel is totally ours.
In my path it is not the world I seek to change, but my opinion of it. when I change, then the world changes.
it's up to the individual to create a peaceful, live and let live world.
because the individual is the whole, and the whole is the individual.
love, alysia