[quote author=channy aka cbuk link=1214600702/0#0 date=1214600698]Hi All,

Just trying to wrap my head round the concept of pure unconditional love.
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if I may have the first honor of responding to my favorite topic Channey, I believe this thread will be a good one. thanks in advance. through Bruce's books as well, you will see PUL mentioned as an important ingredient to explore our interdimensional selves.
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I can understand one has to love oneself first before one can feel love for others.
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certainly. it is hard for other's to give love to you if one is always down on one self for one reason or another.
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I am looking for examples of PUL in everyday life to understand PUL better.
Surely, it is difficult to find such a quality in everyday life and  also difficult to conceive of such a quality.
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I can give numerous examples. I will probably write another book soon. no, I will definetely write another book!    it may be difficult to conceive such a quality as you've termed it, but it is advisable we do conceive of it. in a duality world we will see either fear or love operating. it is what we focus on consistently which creates the desired reality.
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Are we talking compassion here?      
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thats certainly a good start. empathy is another good start. recently I look at music. some lyrics about a rich person with a good view who checks daily what they made on the stock market, but never prays. then the lyrics go "it's what you give away that you take with you."
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Compassion for sentient beings.
Compassion for other forms of life.
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it's more like u start small. an animal first, a humming bird. with people it's more about
forgiving perceived slights..to get to the love part.
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Surely only the Saints or saintly people can feel PUL?
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all acts of love, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant have a rebounding effect throughout
our world. all acts of love are maximal in that sense. I used to want to feel PUL. I am not a saint. I think ordinary people can feel PUL and often do, but just for the families at first.
around 2001 I had an affirmation. I wanted so bad to see PUL. I look under rocks. the affirmation was "I want to see only love." or I am one with my brothers (to mean sisters too) or this one: I trust my brothers who are one with me."

this was most difficult to believe. then I had a dream message. (I hear voices) it said When you want to see only love, you will see only God."

I then put two and two together. God is Love. then life gave me some problems to work out with a few people here and there, where there was no love expressing. but still I wanted to see love, unconditional love. In these cases, it was up to me to make the first move, as the others did not have this affirmation to work with. In each case I would have to give just a little more than I wanted to, in order to make the love happen. Often, I worked out of body to create the love. but I have some ordinary encounters during waking consciousness which shows me love is still alive here/there.
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To feel PUL for strangers - people you do not know?
To feel PUL for human beings in general?  Altruism?
To feel PUL for people on the other side of life?
How can you cultivate PUL for people on the other side of Life?
It is a tall order.
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well I suppose it's a tall order, but I don't see an alternative except to live in fear with the others.
in fear that we cannot have peace of mind, as love is related to peace of mind. except we refuse to believe differently or to accept another's viewpoint is hard but not impossible to understand.
I will tell u about how to cultivate a sense of love, a little story later.
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Also surely PUL should have certain boundaries – one can love others but a line has to be drawn somewhere – how about your sacred space?
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A line does have to be drawn sometimes. Sacred space is time you give to yourself on a regular basis, to regroup, recenter, affirm your direction and focus. It is sometimes necessary to communicate to others you need to do this.
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So if you come across a Soul who is lost or stuck, irrespective of its imperfections or what it has done - If you can imagine the quality of PUL, your feeling PUL for it – would that enable it to be helped?
If so, I suppose the reasoning goes like this:

The stuck soul is lost/stuck due to a certain circumstance.
You send PUL towards it – it responds and becomes aware.
I suppose to the stuck/lost soul – by sending it love – you are broadcasting to it that no matter what circumstance it finds itself in - it is loved.  So it responds and becomes aware.
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it becomes aware. I think you have a good general picture. there is a curious feature of PUL
to expand the sensory basis (five senses, plus 6th) making the mind and energy field expand
to pick up even more information through the emotional body, and the spirit body.

so my awareness of love makes your awareness of love become so. what goes around comes around.
in retrievals, the stuck are feeling separated, alone, perhaps unloved. yet if we consider god is love, then we know god loves us just as we are, we do not have to be a saint to have god's love.

the saints don't need god's love, they already have it. we do. we get stuck sometimes because our respective egos believes we are somehow different and somehow separated from god, or all that is.

then a retriever is saying, hey, I see you! come with me a ways. you belong to the universe too. usually when I'm retrieving or encountering a lack of love, my guide says to just find something good in the person. when it is found something good, however insignificant, I can then feel PUL.

Recently. sometimes I do this. I walk up to a cashier having a bad day. lots of folks do this unconsciously. I do it consciously if I'm supposed to. I don't go looking for grumps. lol. but I feel directed sometimes to certain ones. so this can happen, you can receive inner guidance.

I issue a compliment to a frazzled cashier. his or her may spark off a light from my greeting.
it is then simply a moment of feeling PUL between us.
the compliment itself may be meaningless. it's the eye contact that calms them and makes them grateful, they are appreciated. nobody has appreciated them the whole day.

if we all did this, we would all be on our way to sainthood    this is not a planet to achieve sainthood for most of us, but we can help each other and that's all that's expected, if we could just keep it simple and not argue so much.

Hi Channy. Alysia and Bets have set out some of the 'what' aspects of PUL.  Here's a go at another that tries to place it in the context of path.

The (Mahayana) Buddhist perspective on universal love is that the its a wholly natural quality that's present in everybody. Qualities implicit in the state that leads to the ability to manifest it are often listed as compassion, wisdom, equanimity, selflessness, joy in other's happiness, loving kindness and so on.

The view is that we lose touch with this natural orientation because we mistakenly become conditioned over successive lifetimes to think that we are separate individual selves existing in a reality where it's necessary to overcome and to take advantage of others and our environment to survive. We lose touch with our higher self, and its knowing that all is one - that all living things are  connected and hence to be loved.

This conditioning becomes so pervasive that we lose touch with our hearts, and eventually with the ability to spontaneously feel love for others, or to conduct our own lives wisely - we start obsessively to grasp after 'stuff' (seek to avoid what we fear, and pursue what we desire), but out of ignorance (lack of knowledge of what it takes to live wisely or to minimise suffering in life) in doing so create ever more suffering for ourselves and others. e.g. we pursue wealth, power, fancy houses, cars, good looking partners, nice food and whatever; we treat the environment as something to be endlessly exploited - and even when we get a bit smarter/wiser we still often grasp after all sorts of stuff that subtly keeps us bound to ego like being holier than thou.

Romantic so called love centred on an individual and dominated by a sense of owning another is a case in point. PUL is selfless and unconditional - it's essentially the agape spoken of in Christian writings.

The more we grasp like this, the deeper we dig ourselves into suffering, and hence become ever less able to express genuine unconditional love. We in fact create a whole mind made unreality within which we experience life and others as the loveless suffering we've come to believe it is.

The spiritual path by this view entails the progressive shedding through life experience and spiritual practice (meditation, correct behaviour through knowledge of what's right and mindfulness of self and so on) of this identification with this whole package of conditioned beliefs or ego - helped by the fact that the cosmos and each of us is infused with a basic goodness (grace in Christian terms) that guides us towards realisation and loving behaviours. (or God)

The point is the dropping of our identification with beliefs, not necessarily the dropping of all beliefs or views on the nature of things as we still have to function in the world. So we need to cultivate the ability to be able to calmly observe our minds in action, to feel and see the attraction and aversion in action, but to not get sucked into total, automatic and unthinking identification with or belief in what we think - into actions driven by these beliefs but unmediated by the heart or intuitive side.

Buddhist teachers like to use the example of the way the clouds cover the sun to explain this natural goodness. Even though at times the sky is black and it's raining the sun is still shining behind the clouds and just waiting for them to draw back.

This too explains the strong emphasis in Buddhist teaching on what amounts to renunciation. The process of dropping identification with ego is seen to be one of opening, of letting go of our identification with selfish intellectually made views of what we think we want and need.

Of developing what ultimately becomes a choiceless awareness, an equanimity or lack of preference about what life brings. While at the same time working to develop compassion for both ourselves and others, and to by living as wisely as we can minimise suffering for all beings. It's thus not about some sort of dispassionate state of not caring, it's more about ending our attempts to force mind made realities in to existence - about cultivating the ability to see and to align ourselves with the natural flow of life. On the basis that this minimises suffering.

This is the caring but not caring oft talked of in Zen.

The realised qualities listed at the start of this post are seen as springing from the intuitive or heart side of mind - in the silence resulting from the reduced intellectual chatter and striving we become aware of and start to respond to the 'still small voice'. With time this leads us into situations where life and others reciprocate loving behaviours - we come to see that there's an alternative love based reality we can bring into existence and live through too. As we become more loving we experience progressively more love.

Too much intellectualisation of spiritual topics (or of anything else) is consequently seen as counter productive, in that it tends to promote living in the head and the pursuit of unreality rather than connecting directly with true reality.

The emphasis is instead on practices like the meditation, reflection and mindful living as above as a means of accessing the true nature of mind, (pure awareness unclouded by ego and intellect) and hence of transforming oneself and one's reality.

That of course is just one tradition's view of love, or a version of it. It does work in practice, in that there's no doubt that at least in the case of some people meditation and letting go can lead to very profound emotional opening - to a reconnection with one's heart and emotions, and to the experience of real love and ultimately of joy. Our world and our existence within it is revealed as a much less fraught affair than before, to be ultimately led by love...

Hello Channy:

PUL is something we can bring into our lives more and more. Some keys to do so are:

1. Get clear on issues from our lives that cause us to feel hurt in some way.
2. Get clear on issues relating to anger.
3. Get rid of thought patterns that cause us to feel fear.
4. Get rid of all judgment. I don't mean that we can't see that sometimes others manifest in a negative way. However, there is no need to have judgment towards them and it is good to always remember that they come from God just like the rest of us.
5. Get rid of all beliefs that make us feel seperate from others.
6. Get rid of whatever it is that prevents us from experiencing others completely according to love. For example, if a man insists on seeing a woman as an object of sexual desire, it will be hard for him to experience this woman as the divine spirit being she actually is.
7. Get rid of any ideas that causes one to feel as if one isn't completely worth loving.
8.  Have faith in our ability to love others completely.
9. Realize that the most beautiful and worthwhile thing any of us can do is live according to love completely.
10. Love doesn't care what a person/being is capable of. It just simply loves without expecting a person/being to do something special in order to deserve love.
11. The more we live according to love, the more we connect to an energy field that is shared by all beings who live according to love.  A field that is an ocean of love. This field can actually have a liquid like feel.
12. Remember that we are all one and many at the same time.

I'm not suggesting that I've reached the point where I live according to love completely, but the more I've shed the above limitations, the more I've been able to do so.

Compassion is an aspect of PUL.  Fortunately PUL enables us to completely care about and appreciate others. Feelings such as reverence, humility and grattitude relate to love.

channy: LaughingRain, the way you write certain phrases finds a response with me.
I say to myself isn’t that cute – the way she has stung those words together –
Sometimes I break out in a smile!
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thanks...I am encouraged then to continue writing  I seem to have this cuteness trait when
I think I'm very serious...

Hi Sonia. Channy and the rest of you too. Reading this thread again I guess it reminded me that having described the 'what' of love in intellectual terms we're left not that much further on in terms of how to live it - in terms of knowing what it actually means in the great variety of real life situations we can find ourselves in.

This is the real learning task, and arguably the only reason the world exists.

Bets as ever went to the practical side in this regard with an example of how tough it can be.

Most of us are beginners, but Recoverer went to the point too by suggesting that fear is usually the give away sign that our selfish interests are threatened, and that we're at risk of doing something that is not loving.

The challenge seems to be to use this as an indicator (and it may be very subtle, and not perceived as fear at all - or may be deemed the opposite by society as with many violent and aggressive behaviours) and find it in ourselves to act against this fear to show love.

This is often hugely transformative for the subject and for oursleves.

This conquest of fear is the core undertaking of the spiritual warrior spoken of in different traditions.

There's also the dimension that suggests we're not required to be a doormat - that wisdom or skillful means are an important part of the equation. We need to find the optimum expression, and may need to steer clear of situations beyond our ability.

The expression of love can also require tough actions that would be regarded as harsh by those espousing the rose tinted and saccharin flavoured version that commonly passes for the real thing.

There's subtle traps where we think we're being loving, but we're not because we're actually indulging ourselves. We're responding to the situation in a seemingly loving manner, but not in the way that's best for the subject (or truly for ourselves) because we're for example trying to make ourselves look good. (e.g. the stereotypical society do-gooder)

It's important to say too that whether you put it down to the essential goodness of all beings and the cosmos, or to Spirit, or to God's Grace that there's a definite magic that kicks in when we do manage to act with truly loving intention - one that delivers remarkable outcomes for all concerned...

Greetings,

Recently I told my husband about what blink said previously (I guess on another thread) that PUL can be elicited by tender feelings toward such beings as bunnies. Today he gave me his response -- a computer screen background he compiled from photos of rescued panda babies. !
I now come to you with a softened and fuller heart !

For those of us with 'tough shells,' here's a note--it's not the 'cute' of it.  It's the process of being tenderized by defencelessness and innocence that opens channels for PUL.

Love, Bets

Another note:
Defencelessness and innocence are soul qualities we all share.

this has been, still is, a good thread, and I had predicted it would be, but didn't know for sure, just a feeling it would be.

I want to take notice of Channy, a guy with a turban shows up one day and asks a simple question, seemed to come from his heart. kind of rare thing here, but happens.
as well, I've never been to a country where they wear turbans. my first thought was:

1) Channy is an imposter. he got this picture somewhere, and he's really a regular here, but is not wanting to have us relate to him as the regular guy.
2) then I thought, I don't care who he is, I'm milking this subject! haha!  If we are all connected on a great thread so who cares whether there's even a picture there, or if a regular does have half dozen user names, which I have seen this done on a few occasions; these have their reasons to want to hide. it's ok. We would probably love you whoever you are or aren't, because we can feel the oneness going on here, even with the many differences and misunderstandings.

I especially like Bets to say we have this innocence in each of us; it's just been it seems, necessary to be self protective, when it seems the outside world is not noticing how loving we really are inside.
but in the end we can rise above this defensive reaction to say, anyone's opinion of you is none of your business really. The trick is to see the other as innocent also, and that requires thinking before speaking about what you really want to say, because words can always be taken two ways, in a duality based consciousness, which we are still in, but shifting to a higher consciousness, where you look beyond surface of the words.

and most difficult on the internet to do this..we lack facial observations, body language, sound and tone of voice, inflections in laughter..loss of tactile touch...so much is not here to absorb one has to develop ESP. assumptions abound then.

about this board in general and reflecting on Ian's post..there are many I have seen come here over the years that have lost a loved one. I want to say how grateful I am to all of you who have responded to these that seek comfort, to hear someone say, you will meet with your loved one again, sounds trite, but unless you've lost someone to death, you cannot know the devastation that settles around you, where you want to die yourself, it's so painful.
Yet you all showed me how you jumped in and shored up the suffering. You showed your love. They get what they need, then they leave, but you can bet they remember what you said to them, that they found a place on the internet, a place to talk about how much it hurts, and then they were told it's ok to hurt. You're going to be fine.

so it is a service we do here, no matter who says it's not, it's a service to my way of thinking, to brighten anyone's day during tough times.
of course I would love it if more people here actually read Bruce's books or any books on our other home, and when they are ready, I suppose they will.

just trying to spurt out a little gratitude...thanks Ian, another post from you reveals to me who you are, and I think you have been most helpful to me.