You guys are so right that without struggles there are no growth. Case in point, I was straying away from my obligations and responsibilities of being a good human being for a couple of years now. I was developing a temper with everyone, even strangers. Instead of feeling love for all, I felt irritation and annoyance for all. Just living a selfish life like all around me.

This illness have humbled me once more and have reminded me the reason I am on Earth. At this time, instead of resisting the life lesson, I am ready to sit down and take notes as to how I need to grow from this as a person, and not let my son experience this illness in vain. If anything, I can take this suffering and learn from it.

First lesson for Linh: To let go of all resentment I feel for my parents and my Ex-husband. This is not the time for us all to be fighting about petty issues. This illness should be a constant reminder of unconditional love and forgiveness as stated by Thomas (Tgeck). Even though, I cannot change my family's negativity. I can at least change my reaction towards them during this time. I am truly exhausted of holding onto the anger and resentment of not having a supportive family structure. So, this is the best time for me to let it all go, so I can have positive energy to help my son through this tough time in his life. He needs at least one positive person to help him with a speedy recovery.

Second Lesson for Linh: To not run away from my fears of lonliness. It is time for me to learn how to not depend on men for happiness. For once, I am allowing myself to feel all the horrible feelings that comes with being alone (tears, hyperventilation, depression). I am slowly learning healthier ways to cope with the lonliness. Calling my real friends and family to help me through my depression. Doing things for myself that gets me excited. Resisting to call "just any guy" to fill the void of the lonliness. <<sigh>> it is very very hard to be in this state.

So, in conclusion, my son's illness is in some way causing positive changes in my life. Indeed, it is making me grow stronger as a person. (too bad I couldn't continue living the way I was...)

Thanks for reading me vent...

Love,
Linh

Linh, I'm glad to hear that things might be looking up, and that you have learned something from your current situation. Here's a hug to Aiden and you from me! *mental hug*

Quote:


  Hi Linh, i very much second what Blink wrote in the above.  I don't know what your future holds in the specific material sense, but i know it holds spiritual growth, and to me that is a precious thing in and of itself. 

  There is something that Yeshua use to pray, which i sometimes need to remind myself of the importance of, "Not my will, but your Will be done"    So simple but so powerful, if we really try to live it and let go of our own self will.