I thought I would start a thread about "Anger" and how it effects our lives here and there.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

Phsychologists say: The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. I ask: Is it "really" more natural, than a "choice of free will"?

Have you ever consciously noticed the human ego at work? Everytime when your angry - you just don`t feel better until "you`ve blown the anger off" or should I say "divided the pressure amoungst others", theres been different ways of doing such, some yell at their partners, their kids, their co-workers, their pets, some even get drastically harmful and hit, beat, bite or kill. However the root of the problem is "being consciously aware of the situation".

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation. Again the key: "being consciously aware of the situation" and choosing the route of free will instead of the route of a victum.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

But what about anger within those that curb the arfterlife?

Its important to understand that some of our loved ones crossed over with "anger" in their consciousness, unable to clean up whatever emotions they had while still in this realm. So they end up having to learn the answer there, on top of what they have to coop with otherwise.

One simple solution is to "look at your surroundings today", right this very min. Could you say that you`ve taken the precious time to "clean up your own anger"? Have you understood that learning to cope with anger emotions is one of the emotions our soul wants to experience after experiencing the initial anger? Or do you find yourself in the "loop of anger" not being able to get out of it once it has begun? Making everyone around you responsible for your anger?

Cognitive Restructuring

Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."

Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.

Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

and always remember it takes 2 to fight, but only 1 to stop and arguement. The answer to every question will always be "love".

Give love to thy neighbor - and I dont mean, taking a second look at the theighs of your neighbors wife or husband by that either - lol..

When someone greets you with anger, greet them with love - you immediately changed the circumstance in which anger has no grounds to grow in, and you won`t be taking that anger emotion with you when its time for you to move on.

Much less weight in that duffelbag which we have to carry,

Hugs to all of you,
Nanner

Nanna,

Focust anger, focust anger is the answer.

alan

Quote:


Where do I start Blink - tell me seriously, where do I start?