A manual for the drama queen in all of us:


How To Create Epic Drama In Your Life
By Scott Kalechstein

Are you getting your minimum daily requirements of chaos, worry, and
adrenalin?

Do inner peace, relaxation, and contentment occasionally creep up on you and
sabotage your ability to indulge your anxiety, overwhelm and fear?

Here's a quick and handy two step process for making sure your world is full
of epic drama.

1. Believe and act like your safety, security, success and happiness are
dependent on other people and forces outside of you that you can't control.

2. Try to control them.

For those of you who prefer to keep it more complex, here are some
practical, time-spending tips for making sure you achieve a high drama
existence. Let me be your drama director as we shout out the
traditional opening words...   Lights! Camera!! RE-ACTION!!!


The Seven Steps To Successful Drama


#1. Always Visualize The Worst Possible Outcome- Everybody accentuates the
negative on occasion. What if I go broke? What if I lose my house?
What if I get sick? What if I'm alone forever? What if I'm with this bozo
for life? It's perfectly human to use the power of negative thinking to
conjure up worst-case scenarios about the future from time to time. But as
your drama coach, I want to inspire you to focus all of your attention on
the most negative possible outcomes all of the time.

When this discipline has been achieved, you then relax into the certainty
that you can easily and effortlessly find something to complain about in any
situation, and that fear will never abandon you again.


#2.  Procrastinate & Downright Avoid Meditating - Being too busy and active
to still your mind is essential on your path to drama-realization. Good
drama requires us to be fully lost in our roles as actors on the stage,
reading our reactive lines and getting engrossed in our story.  

Meditation teaches us to become conscious of the part of us that is an audience member,
witnessing and even enjoying our own performance. This detachment is the
death of drama, and must be avoided at all costs. So keep busy, inside and
out. Have you answered all your emails? Is there something good on TV? Who
needs a shoulder to lean on? Always make sure that your life and your mind
are filled with clutter and free of those empty spaces between your thoughts
that can threaten and disturb your absence of peace.


#3. Get Good At Repressing and Exploding - Drama majors are engrossed in
swinging like a pendulum from one extreme to another, skillfully avoiding
messing around with the middle, where the boredom of balance can put you to
sleep. All you need to do is to stuff your feelings till you can't hold them
in any longer and then explode without restraint or concern for anyone,
especially the ones you care most about.  As a practice, see how long you
can be accommodating and nice in a relationship at all times. Stretch
yourself to please as much as you can, and then take the lid off and let the
steam out, like Mt. Saint Helens does once in a while. There's nothing as
satisfying as having a good eruption on someone after being a silent doormat
for as long as you can.

#4. Leave Your Inner Child Alone Inside You Without Parental Supervision -
When our inner kids get scared, they create some really juicy drama, but
only if we are committed to denying them our own re-assurance, empathy,
guidance, loving boundaries, and an occasional time-out to vent and be
heard.  When we have the will power to not succumb to such self-indulgent
nonsense, our inner kids will try to get those needs met solely from others,
and usually in some pretty indirect and high drama ways.  When two people in
an intimate relationship abandon those kids at the same time, oh boy, that's
when the fun and adrenalin kicks into high gear. The adults have left the
vehicle, and you can guess who's in the front seat, banging on the horn,
flooding the accelerator, yelling out the window, and playing extreme bumper
cars.  Yippee!

#5. Set Huge Goals, Maintain Unrealistic Expectations  - There is nothing as
beneficial to a high drama lifestyle than developing the habit of reaching
for the stars, falling short of your lofty goals, and punishing yourself for
failing. Taking big leaps and falling flat on your face is paramount for
maintaining low self-esteem, which is the foundation of all good drama.
Reach for the mountain-top, and on the way don't look down at your feet.

Taking one step at a time is for people who lead uninteresting lives, filled
with a lackluster sense of gentleness, peace, and other dismal downers that
drama majors are skilled at avoiding.

#6. Resist Your Resistance - Every human being has resistance, but only the
ones that have learned the art of resisting resistance excel in creating
melodrama.  Resisting resistance is easy. Have you ever been known to judge
yourself harshly for not moving forward, telling yourself that there is
something wrong with you? Good! You are on the right track. Now, take your
next step. Shame and blame yourself for feeling afraid and stuck. Then tell
yourself that you should know better than to shame and blame yourself. This
will make you quite an energetic downer, sucking energy from those around
you. Can a good, high drama soap opera be far behind?

#7. Get Grounded In The 3 B's. Blame, Blame, & Blame  -  Blaming yourself
has already been covered. But don't rest there. Blame everyone else too.
Life's not going the way you want? Blame! Blame first, ask questions and
take responsibility later, if at all. Appropriate targets are Mom and Dad,
friends (if you still have any), your mate (if they are still around), the
Bush administration, the Clinton administration, big corporations, small
minds, and , of course, God.

Self-responsibility is highly overrated, and leads to issues losing their
charge and actually getting resolved, which flushes good drama down the
toilet.  Instead, let it overflow, all over the tile of your life. Blame,
Blame, Blame!


Affirmations For Good Drama

Every day in every way I am stressing out over everything, real or imagined.

Everything is working together to conspire to bring the worst possible
outcome to my doorstep.

Life is against me and I am doomed.

I count my bills every day, and they are always way more numerous than my
blessings.

God always gives me something to complain about.

This, or something worse, is now manifesting for the highest cost of all
concerned.

I no longer have to work to create drama. Drama happens effortlessly and
naturally, all around me.

Whatever calamity I can conceive, I can achieve.

I am always in the right place at the right time, successfully up to my ears
in trouble.

I always have everything I need to manifest everything I don’t want.

All is hell in my world.

Hi Blink I wonder whether he has an answer for me,as i have never been wanted for who i am ,only by my children and not by any man apart from my father,but my mother never wanted me,i've asked God this question many times,but i have accepted this fact in my life  and i'm putting all my time into studying so i have less time to think about this and i am going to live my life until it's over and then i will be in the spirit world with my dad,who truly wanted me,so there is something to look forward to oneday.I love you all on here as you make me feel like it's worth me being here.

Love and God bless   love juditha

Hi Juditha. That's a tough place to find yourself in, but if I was to try to say something helpful (which might at first feel like I was being unsympathetic) I'd ask why it is that you feel so badly about this issue?

At the surface level the answer seems obvious, but at a deeper level you don't in truth need anybody to like you to perceive the value in yourself. You may not yet feel this, or your attachment to the idea that you are not loved is maybe blinding you to this fact. 

We know you here as a loving and lovable person - that that's not the reality of you.

It's possible to overcome these feelings using meditative and contemplative practices. This CD by Pema Chodron is a good outline of how to go about it: http://www.amazon.com/Pema-Chodron-Collection-Meditation-Fearlessness/dp/1591791...

Another option would be one of her books - say 'The Places That Scare You' published by Thorsons - although that's a bit heavier going. It involves starting to do some meditation - we need the stillness, space and openness it produces to start to 'see'.

She's a Buddhist nun, but I doubt she says anything likely to cause you any problem. She herself was forced on to the path by the need to dig herself out of a nasty divorce by overcoming deep anger and feelings of inadequacy.

I'd quite a struggle with this sort of issue in the years after I got ill in the early 90s. These methods worked for me - I've been able over the years (it's been a long road) to eliminate almost all of my sense of having failed at work.

There's a magical bit to it too. When we feel that we're unlovable others pick up on this vibe and that's what we get projected back to us. As this dislike for self melts we stop getting this stuff pushed back in our faces, and start to experience much more loving behaviours.....

This is for you Juditha - some excerpts from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran.

Deep down you know your beauty. One of these days your head will catch up with what your heart knows. So hang in there, we're all in this boat together......

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was often times filled with your tears.
How else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights
But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.
You would know in words that which you have always known in thought.
You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

Hi blink   I feel like i am going to try to be that flower and who knows one day i may get noticed,thanks so much for what you have written to me.

Love and God bless     love juditha

Yes, it's funny, isn't it, Dave? My inner drama queen is getting a real kick out of it.

love, blink