Hello, everybody. My mother passed eight months ago. I cannot believe that yet, and keep looking for her and feeling her absence all the time. We all lived together in the same house, my mother, my father and myself. My father was never by my side but retired to a world of his own, so I am completely alone.
I have been searching the net for ways to contact her, boards, comfort, but have not succeeded so far, and I wonder: why is she not contacting me in some way if she can feel how much I am grieving?
I did have a couple of experiences some call ADCs: I "heard" twice my mom´s voice calling my father shortly after she passed, I did not hear that with my ears, neither did I imagine that. Then my mom came to me in a dream, where I was conscious she had left and hugged her, but she was not, I cannot remember what we talked about then, only a mysterious reply from her, "yes", and her asking about some "crazy one" (which I assume is my father).
I have always been aware of "signs". I believe we are all one, and part of the universe, where we come from and return to.
All I want to know is whether she is all right, or cares for me, or has anything to say to me, but I cannot "feel" anything. Just like she vanished forever.
Any help on this?
Thanks a lot,
Marsu

Hi Marsu,

Welcome to the board.  I hope you find comfort here.  There's a lot available to provide what you're looking for.  Bruce's simple method of contact might be something you would find helpful and comforting to try.  From reading your post I feel you already are receiving contact from your mom, maybe just in ways that are a little more subtle than you would like.  Hearing her voice and also seeing her in your dream, those are two excellent clear ways that you've already had contact with her. 

I know what you mean when you say you just aren't feeling it though.  Sometimes we are looking so hard for something that it really narrows our perception, and it could be there loud and clear yet we won't see it.  Grief and sadness can block things out as well.  Sadness seems to be a state of mind that is very perception-limiting and is a lonely place.  I like to think of it as putting yourself in a tight little box.  Depression or any other negative emotion work the same way.  I know this from my own emotions.  That's why one of my favorite things that Bruce teaches is about using the feeling of love to open you up.  Not only does this whole concept take your attention away from the negative, it also really does work in such a way that opens your perception.  It makes perfect sense...why focus on the sadness when it will only keep you blocked?  Sure, the sadness will always be there, but you don't have to be locked in by it constantly.  "Move" over to the positive side, focus on remembering the feeling of giving love or being loved, and focus on it until you are actually feeling love.  It is an amazing transformation, especially in a time of dealing with the loss of someone you love and miss very much. 

On dreams, you said you were conscious in a dream where you saw your mom.  This is a type of dream or dream state that I've always been interested in studying.  I've studied my own for years.  When I hear someone brush something off as "just a dream" it really drive me nuts.  I have to think that they just aren't experiencing the same kind of "dreams" that I am.  Many of these experiences have a fine line with out-of-body experiences, another less understood state of being.  I'm tending to believe that all states of consciousness are all just different degrees of the same thing.  I put a lot of importance on consciousness.  How can anyone say something was "just a dream and nothing more" when you experienced it with conscious awareness, especially when you are talking about a visit with a loved one, and you surely felt your mother's energy and spirit in this experience, right? 

It's an area I feel deserves much more recognition, research, and understanding than it typically receives.  I'm happy to hear you had these experiences and were willing to share them here!

Have a good time reading the board here and getting to know everyone!

Love,

Vicky

  Hi Marsu, i can probably relate to what you've described since my mother passed away young, and we were/are very close. 

   You have to find your own way to deal with it, but please don't repress and cut off your feelings as a way of not dealing with these feelings (but at the same time, do not concentrate on these feelings and the conditions which seeminly caused same)--btw, i'm not saying that you are doing that.   Well, it's a good sign that you are posting here, because it shows that you not trying to sweep these feelings under the rug like i did for a year after. 

Dunno, stick to your spiritual ideals (like "I believe we are all one, and part of the universe, where we come from and return to.") and consistent meditation with prayer and affirmations will help.
  I've mostly kept in touch with my mom via dreams, but sometimes it seems to be one of those things if there is too much attachment to a specific expectation, or just too much desire and attachment to keeping in touch, it can sometimes block that connection.   

  In a sense, you have to let go a bit, but how?  The best way to let go of anything painful or limiting, is to lose self in service to others, to try to be helpful and constructive to others without thought of return or reward.    It's pretty darn hard to let go of something, without filling up with something else.  Same thing with habits, the only way to change a bad or limiting habit, is to try to create and focus on a new and better habit. 

  If you combine that with some form of going within, meditation, prayer, etc, then it's a sure recipe to open self more and more to the infinite, as well as gaining ever greater peace, joy, and balancedness within self. 

  A healthy diet and regular exercise also helps in all the above too.

Hi Marsu,

You seem to be receiving some contact. I think that sometimes we are meant to pass on information to others. Maybe just ask for clarity. Ask to continue to receive dreams, or some other method that you can understand better. You might give Bruce's method a try or two.

I understand what you mean when you say you "heard" a message but not with your ears, but it was not imagined.

I am sorry for your loss, but have no doubt that you are loved. It just takes time to know for sure.

love, blink

Hello again, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your kind replies to my post. Each is a jewel of knowledge and sympathy on its own, and has made me realize a lot of things; I still have a long way to go.
Bets, thanks for the tips, I believe this grief will never end, and no, my father will not let me in. Vicky, yes, perhaps my mom has already contacted me, but I just need... more. We were very close. Indeed in my dream I was conscious I was dreaming, that my mother had passed, but she did not seem to notice, it was just like everyday's talk. She looked happy, but unfortunately I can only remember dreaming of her once. I agree, no dream is "just a dream". Nanner, thanks a lot for your remarks, very much to the point, made me think real hard. Justin, right you are, I have already found the best way to help myself is by helping others, and I am currently doing my best towards helping people and animals, although in a very limited way, since my grief will not allow for much. Dave, I am desperately looking for a signal, anything from my mom, but along these terrible eight months, I have only had the experiences I mentioned. Blink, indeed there is this "intermediate" "place" where we can hear and also see things, and we are conscious that it is not our imagination, yet we are not experiencing that physically. I have had some of these experiences along my life and would really like to know more about them. George, thanks so much for your assurance, gives me a lot of hope my mother is where she should be, since she was such a good person. When I mention being "alone" that means, physically alone: no one to hug me, talk to me, sit by me in silence: fortunately, this circumstance has made me realize who my real friends are, and I have also made new friends in grief, like dear Holly, who lost her mother just a month after I lost mine. For months we have been sharing, and I thank God for that. I do hope I can get new friends here, too!
Hugs, all
Marsu