Hello Everyone!
Some of you may remember my old username on the forum, Jambo?
Just lately I have been absolutely terrified about the thought of dying. I think the reasons for that was hearing that my Uncle Mike had been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. The medical staff say he has an 85% chance of full recovery me being the natural worrier started thinking the worst. Also as well it has dawned on me that my mum and my dad etc are not getting any younger and they will not be here forever. Also hearing about that poor actor Heath Ledger really got to me.
From a very young age I have always believed there is "something" out there working in tandem with us, maybe its God or some form of guiding force?
From a young age I have also always believed that there is a heaven. This is not because of my parents or family enforcing their beliefs on me (I come from a Jewish family). It is a feeling I really can't explain it is just a true "gut" feeling that I seem to have. My mum is very spiritual due to a number of factors and she used to often take me to the local Spiritualist Church but I was far too young to understand what was going on. However when I was there I have good memories of the atmosphere there. The atmosphere there was electric and to this day I have not experienced a similar atmosphere since.
The thought that scares me as I am sure it scares a lot of people is losing people that I love and I'm worried that I will never share their company again once they are gone

I am dreading the day when my mum is no longer with me because I have an extremely close bond with her.
The hardest thing is I know nobody can give me a definite answer. Sure there are numerous sources of good literature on the subject both backing the existence for the afterlife and also rebutting the case, both raising good points and arguments.
Often skeptics say its all in the mind or when people see spirits its the mind playing tricks on them. What makes it hard for me is I have never really had a psychic experience so this naturally makes me doubt it all as I am the type of person who has to see something to believe it.
It is getting to a point now where I am finding it hard to sleep because I can't seem to stop going over these thoughts time and time again. Actually at one point I was worried that I was going crazy!

I know one of the things that Bruce Moen says is to experience the afterlife for yourself, but how do you know when you do visit the afterlife your not just imagining everything? I for one am useless at any type or kind of meditation as my mind is so hyperactive and I find it very difficult to switch it off or "empty" it.
Any kind advice or words of wisdom would be greatfully appreciated.
(I also apologize for the long post!

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Take care everyone.
Love Jammy