Hi Thomas, yes I invite other's retrievals, whether self or?
glad to read of yours. I would say the inner disturbance will settle down. my own psyche expresses the inner child and your self retrieval is classic, it is very similar to my own a few years back, so I too am verified here, I am not alone in the journey I take. It's a PUL feeling so its gratitude.
perhaps we are talking about the open heartedness of the child within. Interestingly, the child is still a wholly functioning being in some other time/space than the present, my pov, as real as flesh are the encased past experiences.
Bruce has such an experience to relate, how as a child he closed down the heart to protect it from the world, from that sensation of being lost perhaps. the classical human journey I'd agree.
My own issue was abandonment. It went further back than this life, yet with the same person, a powerful figure in my development, my mother.
I had asked guides to help me do a retrieval as the guidelines suggest. I let my self enter a space as if I were going to do one, on another. I didn't go to sleep or blink out and I saw vague images of a girl around 3, left in the back yard while the rest of the family packed the car and went to the new house. this actually happened. they forgot me! I was already feeling alienated from them so this was the final straw
I'm smiling now, but not then. there she was sitting there totally alone waiting to die, I think. but I didn't know it was me until several months after the retrieval, because I had asked to retrieve someone else. Apparently, the self retrieval was more important and looking back, it was indeed.
Like you, I did embrace her, to remove her from that isolation point. I was guided to do this part, I know. what got to me was when asked would she like to go to a fun place with me, she replied "can I take my dolly with me?"
thats when I started to love her and to heal up from that experience.
Later as time went on, I thought in C1, gosh, she looked familiar, I wonder who she is? then I remembered what had happened and it was important to forgive all concerned but it's a process..gradually I realized she was me back then, and this little tyke was effecting of my present emotional and mental reality belief system, and that my experience of closing down the heart chakra was not unique at all, but that we all have our ways to protect ourselves from, well, the lack of love we perceive in our present world, even among those you might expect to get love and support from, our blood family.
then I thought about my guides, I felt their invisible presence around me during the retrieval; they had nudged me to embrace her, but they had not told me that she was me (scuse me a gnat just flew in me ear! hmm
, is this because we're having a gnat problem here in Az or is my guides wishing to take me down another road?)
whatever...continuing..oh, now they are saying the body is not real. ok, but was the gnat real?
I felt tricked by them, but I thought they were clever to take me back there, as best thing I could have done in order to bring her into my heart at the very start of where she began to feel abandoned and alone, that nobody loved her because she was told she was unlovable, and it was demonstrated by being left in an empty house as she wandered thru the rooms, here was evidence of abandonment.
Something to forgive after all, if I would love, I must forgive and understand that to hold these grievances only hurts myself.
so forgiveness takes more than one day, several years, maybe a lifetime depending on the situation. I began to heal the heart though and later I thanked the guides for their little trick. It was explained I must heal myself before offering healing to another such as what happens in retrievals to attain their attention, PUL is there, which gets the attention, then they can become unstuck from whatever circumstances they may have found themselves in, like me, being stuck in the past abandonment issue.
then a change was occurring internally. I started to feel the wonder of the child within me whom I had retrieved, like she was expressing now the joy of being alive, as any child would really, but back then, it was not safe to express joy or wonder, so I know why I shut down and I'm not blaming her, I'm just glad my inner child is with me now; she has matured a bit over the years and together we are up to about the age 18 now! haha!
the body is 60 years. it seems not to matter much what age we are, we should approach life with an open heart. I found that people relate to me much better than when I was shut down and they know if they want to express joy to me, I am the one whom they can do that with, so I heartily hope to pass on some art of retrieval to other visitors here, aside from whatever else is going on, the premises that came out of TMI are valid and working in me.
thanks again Thomas; I hug you in my mind.