Hello, I have not posted in a real longtime here and I apologize. I guess it sucks the only time that I came back to post was when something bad happened. I'm not here looking for anything but just some discussion. I'm feeling kinda messed up right now since the other day my friend died in a car accident.

I've been really meaning to get back into meditation and listening to hemi-sync's and all those things but life is crazy and it's so cold when something like this happens. I guess since I'm only 27 and my friend was 28, it's really the first time I've experienced it like this.

So anyway's, lately I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really...... scared. I've always felt this dread and emptiness. My beliefs I try to evolve and everything.

So anyhow again, I want to know what do you think should be done when someone passes?

I'm not really sure what the whole process is. I've read some books an articles but right now my mind is kinda scattered.

If I wanted to help him what would you suggest? Do you think it is possible?


Going back to my primal fear I guess of death and dying, what do you think happens to a person's consciousness?

I would fear the most of losing myself or my thoughts all those things.

Could I try to help my friend mantain, at his own free will if he wants, his consciousness?

I hope this is not to over the top. I've never have felt such a great change in my life, except when my daughter was born.

Anyways, thank you for reading!

Hi Shedt-
As The Seeker put it, there is nothing that really needs to be done. This is kinda like asking what to do in the event your hair grows. It's just a natural process.

However, if you want to involve more, that's up to you. What we are told is most useful is PUL, forgiveness if appropriate, and prayers that express good will. Then if you want to go talk to your friend again, any regression method should be adequate. Bruce's "Book Five" is one place to start on that.

dave

Hi Shedt. Don't worry about only thinking of this stuff when trouble strikes - that what it takes or has taken to get most of us moving. But use it as a wake up call - let it be the first day of the rest of your life of practice. Especially of meditation. Remembering that this can always be the last minute of your life.

As said I think by Don Juan in one of the Carlos Casteneda books - 'live life as though death is sitting on your left shoulder'.

Here's a nice website that describes the (Tibetan) Buddhist approach to dying. http://www.amitabhahospice.org/hospice/Buddhist_death.php They reckon the most important thing is to die in a wholesome (as in relaxed, loving etc and not angry, vengeful or whatever) mind state.

There's a strong emphasis on not moving the body for up to three days after death.

Phowa is the most important practice in Tibetan Budhism that we can use to help others to transition to the bardo states. (afterlife) http://www.spcare.org/practices/phowa.html

This stuff sounds quite Buddhist, but it's said the basic principles can be applied by anybody seeking to help another pass over smoothly.....

Greetings Shedt,

I am sorry for your loss. It's only been a week or so, perhaps, and mourning may take longer than that. We all need more ways to honor passed friends.

If you 'dialogue' with him (imagining that you are talking together, including pausing to hear if he gives you a response), ask him if he's OK with where he's at. Since he died in an auto crash, he may not have had time to process that he he has passed, so you could help him with that.

Does your community allow those roadside shrines of wreaths or flowers put near the site?  If so do you think he'd like one? You could do that for him, and it might help his family feel better too when they drive by that area. Or just do something nice for them, something he'd appreciate.

You're a good friend to him to be looking into this further than the funeral.

Bets

Thank you all for your replies. I just fly home today (or back to where I live)

It's really been a great experience. I feel more at peace myself, if that makes, sense. I feel like a roadblock that was inside me is gone, and now I can proceed with what I need to do. I will be posting more again here, but I will just lurk for a while. I am going to order Bruce's books and getting into the swing of things.

thanks again!