Some kind of dreamscape voyager, walker, glider, can’t deny it. Where the images and sounds are animated with life, with the colors of love sometimes, other times conflict is revealed that needs solving. That takes time. One cannot rip out belief systems that were built stone by stone as thought reinforced emotion and allegiance was found, and it strengthened resolve to return to god; anywhere but here, where we suffered our fates sometimes complaining, sometimes pretending we suffered not to miss our beginnings, from whence we came and where we return through a trek through tired time.

Inspiration might be a drink of cool water but one always grows thirsty and keeps walking the desert hoping the next mirage is real. This is what makes us stronger to keep walking despite we will die like all the others; what we want is to be strong and unfraid of death.

I, retriever, I recall him, what was his name that he no longer uses? It matters not, the face I will not forget, vivid and joyful, full of mirth that he had jumped into death and not even the longing love of his family could stop him as they hadn’t a clue he would do this.
How shall I relay your message? I asked. The sister would not take it well. I am here, he spoke, I live. This man had driven his cycle into destiny, flipped through the air and crashed his body and was reborn into his home from a mere death wish.
Now I watched his image join a large army who studied how to make peace from what was war. He would work with the soldiers on the physical level, whispering strategies or hope, or sweeping aside their fears and answering their questions, how it was that out of war could come peace.
How those possibilities could become realities one by one soldier at a time. The auditorium was legion with boys and men, all in training, all with courage, all with a love of earth, their instructions were not to break, but to mend.
But these marvelous wisdoms avoided me at the moment to pass on to the girl who cried to me “I want another chance! I love him and was it my fault that he died without a whimper to me, that I might have soothed his brow and persuaded him to stay?”
What I saw was not weakness, nor did he toil and suffer but what can I tell you? The man is estatic but still knowing he has responsibility to relieve your pain for his actions. In time. I knew in time there would be this healing but I would not bestow it.
She would take comfort in the butterflies he sent which came on Christmas or on silent days when his face floated across the distance as tears fell. She would worry after their parents who suffered even more quietly than she, oppressed by the knowing his body was 6’ under. They too would be after strength to carry on.
You rascal. I said to him. Why do you show me your death scene when I cannot impart this to her?
Because I am well and I was of courage to die he said. I had work to do here, that I could not do there. Now I bring messages and I am useful here.
It was not my judgement to say he should stay. I saw him again as I dreamwalked to their relationship; In a car they romped as puppies, joyfully and with abandon, tumbling over one another; all was well briefly until he jumped out of the open window to explore the world so vast and spacious and all that he might accomplish towards helping humanity. A wanderer for sure he was, a pirate of the spoils of life, a stout lad. I was impressed. She was not and this puppy would not jump from the window; she gazed after him and was alone. Her journey was her own and had to be respected as well.
Be aware kind friends and associates, some of us do not enter death’s sweet repose to lie idle in eternity, but some die so that other’s can live the more fully and longer and this is the treasure, that love causes this.


love is first cause, then there is effects.

Beautiful Alysia!

Thank you for sharing that.

Love, Bets