Recoverer

Thanks for the reply.  It's interesting that you bring up the times you tried to merge with your HS and instead you had an experience showing you that you needed to overcome limiting beliefs, because during this experience I tried to do just this, but instead of merging with my HS, I recieved the phone call...  I think you helped me find the answer that I needed.. Thanks!

Excellent Idea Dude, can't wait to hear what develops.

Perhaps Ralph you are just very integrated into who you are and your guides have merged so that you feel it's all you and truly it is ultimately.

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   You could be right. Since I'm heavy into internal meditation, it's possible I'm the head of my own cluster or disc; so any guidance is actually my higher self so I perceive as me anyway. I think that when I sense synchronicity, it means I'm following my higher self to the letter (or number or "TOE") .

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   The particular path I'm on during this earthly incarnation may require low profile external guidance, so I can resolve issues on my own as much as possible. Also, I've never really reached out and asked for a guide, so that may be a strong factor as well. Possibly after I achieve controlled exploration of the other side on a continual basis, then any guidance will come forward and help.

Ralph

Perhaps it's an issue of subconscious beliefs or thought patterns interfering.  Take a look at my "Afformations" thread.

JOURNAL ENTRY 115

The truth in the guidance I recieved to stay off Hemisync has once again been validated.  It took me even less time to project this morning than it took yesterday.  This projection was so long and intricate that my conscious mind could only retain a small portion of the full experience.

During this projection I requested for my guides and HS to guide me.  I felt the presence of at least two beings holding onto me at various times throughout the journey, and once they even pulled me out of my body by my feet!  At other times I couldn't sense them, however.

After projecting, I found I was in a large room with an extremely high ceiling.  I flew outside, where there was a pool.  I dove into the pool, and initially seemed to have trouble breathing underwater.  Against my surface thoughts that I didn't need to breathe was a deep-seeded belief that I in fact did, but after a few moments I conquered this false belief and was totally comfortable underwater. 

I asked to be in the presence of Jesus Christ, and suddenly I was being pulled up into the sky by my guides.  Eventually my visual perception dissipated and I was surrounded by blackness.  I could barely sense my guides.  I kept my focus on my intent to see Jesus, and suddenly I felt someone there.  Almost immediately my throat chakra became active and began buzzing with great intensity.  I knew that this had something to do with Jesus, but I wasn't sure what.

During the entirety of the experience I returned back to my body and projected again several times, although I would never fully merge with my physical body, but would be loosely connected.  Soon after the Jesus experience I was back in my body, just slightly out of sync with it.  I loosened my energy body, lifting up my arms, which were now floating.  Suddenly I heard my wife giggle.  She was sleeping next to me.  We began to telepathically communicate, and she told me that she thought it was funny that my limbs were up in the air like that.  There was more to this conversation which I cannot recall, plus some sexual activity that I will leave out.  Although she was sleeping, it seems a deeper aspect of her consciousness was aware and interacting with me. 

I eventually slipped back out and into the astral, continuing my journey.  For the most part, all I can remember at this point is fleeting images and vague feelings gained from the encounters and interactions I had with other beings.  I found myself with a few beings, one of them I knew to be another aspect of myself.  I was me, but I was also him at the same time.  Suddenly this being transformed into a female unicorn, and I totally became this being, my personality being completely altered.  It was made known to me that this was the female side of my being that I was experiencing.  It's hard to describe how, but I felt feminine.  I thought differently, spoke and acted differently, I was different.

I came back to my body again, only to project right back out.  I once again set the intent to visit Jesus, and like last time I felt a loving presence, and my throat chakra burst with a pleasant but intense energy.  Details of this part of the experience escape me.

Towards the end of this journey I began to witness myself at various moments in my life, basically watching scenes from my past.  As I witnessed these memories, I knew they were mine.  The thing is, these events did not occur in this life, and not only that, but some of them were not even me.  I was experiencing the memories of myself from another life and the memories of myself as another person.  The questions that immediately came to mind after the experience include:  Are these real people and real events?  Do these memories have a significant relation to me?  Are they part of my HS's experience?

There was much more that occurred during this experience.  What I've described feels like just the tip of the iceburg.  After writing this in my journal I went back to bed and had another projection.  However, I fell asleep right after the experience, and when I woke up, what I could feel was an amazing projection was unrecallable.

I'm concerned about something. Everyone here seems to have guides helping them, but I feel like I'm on my own. All of my discoveries and experiences are not guided by anyone but me, myself and I.

I don't seem to have any guides, either...but then, I never went looking.  My late husband gives me a shove in the right direction occasionally, but that's more "where is that damn wrench?" than towards great philosophical truths.  I think maybe there comes a point where we get turned loose to muddle through on our own, as a learning experience.

Could it be because I'm transgendered that guides are reluctant to help me? I get dream guidance but not conscious lucid guidance.

Doubt it - if anything, you should get twice as many!   

I suspect a lot of *guides* are basically transgendered - some folks think that at some point, varying by who's telling it, we quit being identified with a specific gender.  I can't imagine guides caring one way or the other. 

When it comes to no obvious guides, I suspect it's more like when we decide to take the training wheels off a kid's bike - when some folks get to where they can do some decision making on their own, they get shoved off on two wheels...there's someone out there, but they're laying low, because you're doing fine on your own.  Even if you screw up, if you screw up for reasonable reasons, and learn from it, you're still doing fine, it's part of the process.