hawkeye
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canada
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You know Recoverer, it was so cool. During an outside free flo exercise that we were instructed to connect with nature. I went over the back hill behind TMI and immediately felt pulled towards a mid sized dead Oak tree. I started touching the tree and connecting spiritually with it. Sending love to it. At a point, sometime into the experience ( it could have been a second or an hour later as time had no relevance or meaning, F15?) I heard through NVC that I was "prepared to hear". There I was crouched against this Oak hearing what was for me. The tree was twisted and dead as far as my earthly being could tell. The presence communicating to me through the tree told me that it was far from what I thought of as dead. It was, and there was no death nor life. I asked about the vine that had been wrapped around it and had choked its life(?) out of it. It was explained that that had been the purpose of its existence. To die for this vine. It further went on and told me the story of life on earth and how everthing here is here to exist for another. That we must all be prepared to give the all of ourselfs to an another without expectaton of return. The story of different living things and what was to be given up was told in different scenarios. One being the wild cat and goat story from a zoo. where the cages are beside each other and every day the two of them play the game of cat and game knowing full well that the end result will never be of the cat catching the goat. I regress. There was a small vine that had started to grow up this oak again and I started to brush it away. Immediatly I was given a spritual "swift kick in the rear." Told that I had not learned the lession and to listen again. It told me that it(the oak) must have this new vine finish it off so that its giving up of its live to the vine , it could compleat its reasion for this existence and would be able to move on. I was showen the love of this gift and felt it within every inch of my being. I was showen different scenarios of this giving. To this day I don't know how long I was beside that tree. It could have been a lifetime or a matter of seconds. The last thing I was told was to go back. Go in for our meal and to enjoy the love of what was being provided to me. (Now if you have been to TMI, you will know that the meals are some what structured and tend to repeat themselfs. The same thing every trip. Good meals, everthing you need, but I personally feel that for the price of the week the food could be better) It was pizza night. After leaving the tree and making my way back up the hill cring like I have never cried before, I got to the building. People were looking at me and I am sure I was quite the sight. All covered in dirt and leafs. Tears running down my face and having this uncontrolled sobs comming from me. One of my new close friends asked me if all was OK and I broke down again with the feeling of this PUL that had been extended to me from this "All" that spoke to me and have shared it with me. Again and again I tried to go into the dining room to eat but every time I went in, I lost it again. Finaly I got myself together and went in and sat at a silent table. The few that were left in the room took a look or two at me but allowed me to sit by myself without distraction. I got myself some pizza and salad and sat down to eat. The food was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Each mouthfull exploding in my mouth with energy and love. It took minutes to chew and swallow each bite along with long drinks of water to get them down. Me there still cring like a baby having the experience of a lifetime. Sharing this love with this energy from the food being given to me. Understanding its gift of life ond of love for me. Knowing that I am to give of myself in much the same way. Knowing that without giving of myself I will repeat again and again untill I get it right. And knowing that this may well be one of my last chances to learn this lession. Very profound. Very life changing. The love felt, and that I know I must share and give to all of you, has changed me beyond anything else. I know this may have dragged, but it is so hard to put into words. This love and this feeling. Knowing that I must be of servise to my selfs and to "All".
My love to All of you!
Joe
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