Dear Juditha,

Remember, this too shall pass and you'll be back to sharing your loving insights again.

Much Love, Jean

Juditha--- read what I posted in Message from ISH.  I was raised in a formal religion. But, after seeing much hypocrisy, by the time I was 26 years old, I allowed Spirit and Soul to be my teachers. If God wants to visit me, He/She can come into my home and soul anytime.  I don't need a fancy building for my worship.  I just step outside my door and feel God within me.  I don't even have to leave the room I'm in.
My mother-in-law had a difficult time with my non-belief in a structured religion.  She begged me  to get forgiveness from the priest and go back to church.  I used this reversed scenario on her:
Do you really think, that when you die, God will look at you and say: "Ruth--- I don't want you. You are white and I only accept blacks.  You are Catholic; I only accept Jews. You are heterosexual and I only take homosexuals."?? She said "Noooo".  I taught her a lesson about PUL.  You are very fortunate to have your twin sister to share your deepest most inner beliefs with.  I don't have anyone immediately with me that shares my total belief in "spirit and soul" and a Creator of ALL. The only thing I learned that was positive from my religious upbringing was that we have "free will".  Thank God (pun intended).      
Don't judge the others from the Spiritalist Church.  You and Deanna  are way beyond them in your spiritually and love and inner knowledge.  You have a church right within yourself.  Your very own temple where you may worship as loudly or as quietly, without judgement, as you please. And when you need to have a community to rejoice with you---- we are here!!

Juditha:

I am certain that God and the spiritual beings you are close to love and accept you and Deanna completely. I am also certain that I and some other members on this forum love and accept you and Deanna completely. So you don't have to worry about being rejected by anybody. There are so many that love and accept you completely.

Juditha,

Good decision!  I'd expect you to sense a positive spiritual difference almost immediately.

Don

Juditha:

I feel and totally empathhize with your pain. I too have felt as though I never fit in. I felt different, unusual,like the odd one out for my entire life. I often times feel like an alien. Many of the people on this board share a unique (yet not so unique as this philosophy has been in extistance since the beggining of time)philosophy and world view. People can be very unaccepting of people who don't fit into the norm, or think the way of the majority. It is a human need to feel accepted so I feel it would be unrealistic to blow off  (even if only by perception) other peoples' opinion of you entirely.Yes, some people seem to be terminally happy. Good on them. You and I have experienced alot of pain, but we are still in the game. Life seems set up to breed negativity so it is very difficult to remain optomistic 100 percent of the time; especially if it seems as if the odds are striked against you. I have had a very difficult year (life for that matter). Just as things appeared as though they couldn't get any worse, they got much worse! My life has fallen apart piece by peice and you couldn't imagine how many times I just wanted to end it. I won't because of loving friends and family and the guilt I would feel for the pain I would cause them. I am also worried about the spiritual reprucussions. There is also some force that keeps carrying me through this journey,something keeps me fighting. It seems there is more pain than joy and each and every day is a struggle. Like kermit the frog says-its not easy being green! Sometimes I have to remind myself that beautiful souls have been prosecuted by the masses throughout time because they didn't share a mainstream belief/outlook/philosophy. There was Ghundi of course, and Jesus and many others. Maybe certain souls (such as you and I) chose this difficult path so that we could master self love in the face of adversity.We may forget that to a certain extent we chose to face this pain in order for our soul to evolve.We will get through this rough patch because we are destined to. We will never be the same and we are still here because we have a special gift to offer the world. It sucks, we don't want to go through this, we want to give up (at least I do). James Van Phraag has a theory that certain over ambitious souls decided to reincarnate before their time, despite counsell advising against this. These souls chose difficult paths and decided to reincarnate before their souls were mature enough to handle such a difficult path. As a result, these souls have often felt excluded their whole lives. They felt as though they were always the odd ones out and they never fit in and it just wasn't their time. This is frequently the reason for suicides. Sometimes I feel as if I was one of these very souls. I soooo don't feel like I belong. You are probably sensitive like me (and many others on this forum). It is harder if you are sensitive because you can get lost and drown your self in emotions, other peoples energy, and especially negativity. You feel more. You are affected. Its a blessing and a curse. I can't offer you advise because I am experiencing the same thing, but I can tell you that you are not alone in your pain. Sometimes I feel crazy. Life is like a strange dream, I am detached like I am watching a bad movie. It can be easy to fall into depression and be apathetic. You will make it through this, so will I.There is a reason we chose this path. It won't be revealed to us untill it is the right time. There will be another layer of  depth added to our character and we will be bring back valuable experience to our soul group. Not every soul could handle the cards that we were delt. But we must face this! Maybe we will never be the same, and thats a good thing! Just be fortunate that certain people love us and understand us and accept us.We don't always have to hide our pain behind a smile. We can find strength through the people who love us unconditionally, more importanly, we can find strength within our selves.

Love

Baby_duck

On feeling depression and rejection. There's potentially lots more to it than this but my own recent experience has been that while your basic nature is wisdom and compassion and all positive that  implies that you can obscure it with quite a heavy duty layer of negative conditioning. By judging your self or resisting or perceiving situations as negative when they arise.

A very wise lady recently pointed out my habit in this regard when I complained that i was finding the going fairly tough. Point being not that you somehow force yourself to be positive about everything, but rather that whatever thought or emotion arises just let it lie unjudged.

Don't self criticise, just be easy with it and thank yourself for doing a wonderful job of bringing the issue into  consciousness. Because whatever it is once it becomes conscious it gets fixed  But heap loads of especially self directed negativity on to it (what else is feeling unwanted and unwelcome except self criticism/judgement?) and your mind will simply suppress it, accumulate it and ensure it stays unreleased and leaves you feeling down.

It's surprising just how much working this way can raise your vibe in a matter of days. You basically need to stay mindful enough to catch negative emotions and thoughts arising in response to situations. Most of these are no more than mental habit anyway, and not particularly related to the reality of the situation you are faced with. You really do have the choice of deciding how you see yourself, and often it's as simple as that.

This amounts to self love, compassion for self or whatever. And as we all know if you don't feel love for yourself it's hard to show love for others. Which they sense, which increases the likelihood of negative responses.

Having bought yourself some space the opportunity for skilful means is now available. When you rest easy you can be wise about handling  situations - because you are not forced into unwise actions by your pain. Maybe size up the group, figure out what generates kickback and keep your head down with a view to accessing the bits that matter to you and helping where you can in return. Or decide that the game is not worth the candle and ease off elsewhere.

Pardon me if i'm lecturing or being too direct.......

Hi Juditha,

I'll trade you your 'thick and stupid' for my 'big galute.' 
But Alysia will probably want in on this too, so let's not make a deal quite yet.

Bets