Bets said: I know we haven't talked much about this yet but the experience is inferred in the books. I've tried other websites but I can't find people that speak like you all. Any experience or study you can share that relates to this will be greatly appreciated.
(I have more questions on it too.)
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I'm having trouble understanding who you are speaking to Bets, when you said "I can't find people that speak like you all."  you mean this board?

we should probably feel good about it that there is even one place! lol.

thanks for remembering my grilled cheese analogy. I thought I was brilliant, but not. I considered DP, like a past life bleed thru, was the "toast."  and I have become merely the great pun master, famous in my own mind.

I was wondering that you speak of being drained, something taken from you and not a return? a physical type drain? from what started out as PUL?
It could be you are putting some perceptions there around it that you will later change as you grow to understand what occurred.
I've had some of these boost exchanges, merges, soul melds, it's hard to define them for sure. One in particular took me a full 3 years to assimilate what was going on out there, like there was two of me, one which decided to go see someone, the other one pulling back and saying "but you didn't check in with me before you left, thanks a lot. I was wondering what you were up to!

thoughts are like kids you try to keep on the farm, but after they seen Paree, forget it!
It sounds to me like you might be putting words around a heart ache Bets. in this case, exercise a lot of patience to forgive the snatcher of love, then, they get the message that you don't need a return on what was snatched away. they are so curious, they decide to play again. they throw in their hand.
then you get what you wanted before you gave up wanting it. am I making sense that relationships work the same way either here or there?

I know what kind of person you are just from reading here. You will be just fine to have your understanding. we are in the shift now and it's more like an earthquake of our souls, personally speaking I suppose. but I have the utmost faith in your journey, so similar to mine.

I find the mention here lately of producing entities on the non/physical plane mind boggling. maybe we can start up more talk of this.

I like to think of "heaven on earth, as it is in heaven."  these merges, since we are already all ONE, they simply give us a demonstration of that oneness.
In a relationship on earth we may produce another physical vehicle for spirit to use.
on the other side, it is an entirely new idea for me to have a merge occur and also a child is born, a spirit form. amazing idea.
I'm thinking. so there must be a relationship born of two who join, producing a product of the relationship, an actual entity, which could seek an earth life, or simply remain on the inner levels of spirit and become more there.

I'm thinking this way because my dreams come true. may take forever, but they do.
so thoughts must be things, especially when combined with powerful desire and/or emotion, more items within creative stuff of the universe.
also in a self retrieval situation you may find yourself increased in the qaulity of your daily c1. as the child retrieval causes the child to see thru your adult eyes, growing up as it were.
an expanse of physical energy, life infusion from a past self.

it seems these nonphysical experiences, when they become real to us Bets, it then produces but more questions, and I think the overload of questions is what causes our discomfort as we since that something is dying while something else is giving birth.

talk soon I hope!

Thanks for giving my anxieties all that attention, Alysia!
The only part of your response I don't want to agree with is the paragraph where you say that relationships there are the same as relationships here.
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I probably shouldn't try to generalize so much.
I just discovered that what our more unlimited selves do out there, the C1 self lags behind in percepting and understanding. it can often seem then, that we are two different people. Remembering our escapades tends to expand our minds, especially where PUL is concerned. I appear to be much more expressive out there, than I am used to being here in C1. I take more chances for instance. I think it takes a long time to a becoming our greater selves within a feeling of safety.
these experiences out there are often dynamic, emotional and if there is PUL, unforgettable. I think I was coming from where I have another type of experience, to see the future. In the dream the emotion I feel is the same as what comes true..however, the illusion is presented that there was a problem I would encounter, therefore the allusion produced fear. once I got to that particular event-line, I discovered there was nothing really to fear. so the mental plus the emotional body, it appears are not in alignment within our explorations, but I think it helps to share our stories as we go along.
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The force we're talking about is love. The imbalance in their taking it rather than sharing seemed more forceful than curiosity
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this doesn't sound right Bets I agree. I'm sensing you can't really talk about something here openly. I understand; I wouldn't want to either if it was anything less than a perfect exchange, as in PUL. maybe theres some kind of agreement you made with this other and you may have to go straighten it out sooner or later for your own peace of mind and you may not have given yourself permission to do that.
I'm sure its a real relationship though; we must know many many souls that we have not met physically.
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but maybe my own fear or weakness exaggerated the imbalance. Then it would also have to have created my physical frailty afterwards ? 
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what happened physically exactly? I mean afterwards. were you able to tie in your physical frailty directly to the experience? it sounds to me someone took a bite out of you and you need to call in a guide to help you get healed up quickly before the wound grows wider. I'm speaking from an emotional level/body. at least you're fully aware of it, that's half the battle right there. but some fears we have, we need to get around them as they are false fears.
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Are we always conscious of such encounters?
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we just starting to become conscious. we are pioneering something. we will make mistakes in the beginning. but we can train ourselves to become more conscious.  especially if I feel I've been wronged I need to go straighten it out as lovingly as possible with that intention.  I still wake up scratching my head sometimes..but writing it down helps. it takes months to reach conclusions sometimes.

I've found that when bad things happen to good people, it's usually because they drew the experience up, even in another lifetime, or childhood indoctrination, then they made an agreement (unconsciously) then afterwards they begin constructing another belief system. we love our belief systems because we made them. its no fun watching it die and be replaced by another, or assimilated, but its fun later as soon as we can determine what course of action to take when something hurtful happens. I usually have to rush off and find someone smarter than me to sort it thrue. out there that is. thank god theres always a helper willing to help out. or if a person is religious, they say let go and let god, same idea.
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If i contacted a person whom I recall melding with, would they even recall what was even traumatic, (or preferrably loving)?
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I've only found a few people I could do PE with and exchange verification. and what I'm relating here is different than your experience. This other you are involved with doesn't seem quite to your spiritual understanding, or you may be encountering just one aspect of their nature and having to reconcile that aspect of forcefulness with what your own perceptions of them are. One of these persons did not recall coming to me but said he had a feeling we were meeting out there.  he admitted to my verification details which tied into physical reality and so I knew it happened. I think we each train ourselves to remember. I also think if you can't verify things with them, sometimes the experience is yours alone to grow by and something you needed to show yourself something.  you may be in an exceptional position to begin speaking about what we do here. But I don't know how you would approach someone you've never met in reality with this stuff. becasue at first you don't want to admit being crazy. then later u don't care what anyone thinks because you have your knowing.  I use the term crazy in a different way to mean we're not offering one another the finished product of who we are in a more unlimited sense.

theres a saying that if a man approaches you and asks for your coat, give it to him.  none of this would make much sense if you feel you are being treated too roughly.
sometimes I get in trouble too, a little, but if you meet someone out there who is very uptight about something, instead of merging with them, you can play dead. lol. I was having a tiff with someone I liked very much once, out there he came charging up in the costume of a bear. I folded up, put my hands over my head in the fetal position, he got up to me, took one look at this ninny and said oh, man, this is not even worth my anger! haha! sorry. got off track of your concern.
the best thing I can see as protection in a crazy world we encounter here or there, is to develop PUL to the hilt and maintain it in every expression, know what you can safely give, and what and when to withhold something. where love is, fear cannot maintain itself, its like light coming into a room where there was dark shadow; it cannot maintain its darkness when light walks in.
going back to rectify a dirty deed is different. it would fall under justice seekers realm which people train for that too. they put me in class for the justice seekers, but I can't say thats my realm of expertise, its just one of the classrooms out there. I'm good at the lecture hall though!
its a little harder to return to rectify something so thats where the guides come in. they are there. we are not alone. thats what makes me happy. I can hold someone's hand if I need to look somewhere inside of me thats burning up from a wound. usually you can set an intention for that and you'll get the answer.
ah, sorry, I talk too much.
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Bets said:
In my situation we haven't met physically. I assume this etheric contact creates a new relationship, one that would have some effects one way or another if the OBers were ever to meet. But for the melds as deep as toasted cheese  I don't believe new entities are created. For now I'm just talking about the briefer melds. (Sorry I got your toasted cheese analogy with DP wrong, Alysia --but now I can't get it changed in my head.  )
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grilled cheese is what I meant for many lives lived in the disc group. each of us have aspects to deal with, and these are like bleed thrus of previous personalities to me, like remembering something. but for soul melds it works ok I guess! I see melding as a vapor, the two energy fields permeate each other, a blinking out occurs and a blinking back in, then you wind up with a tracking device on each other mentally. my opinion.

the fact that its not physical reality makes it even more fearful sometimes.
I imagine love at first sight would mean people have known each other before. it sounds to me you have something ongoing in any case.
hang in. patience. just to share, sometimes I will be sitting around thinking of this person I meet out there and a whole sentence pops into my head, such as this; "you said I could come anytime I wanted."

this in C1. when I first heard that I flew into a dither. I said back denial. I said no, I didn't say that!  this verbiage illustrates two things;
it implies he had asked permission to come anytime.
It implies I needed a reminder that I had said that he could. it wouldn't disrupt my lifestyle in other words according to my higher self.
It implies I have to accept this is an ongoing thing which I can't bury in the subconscious.
later, I remembered, oh, yea, I did say that.
so I relaxed as I don't want to be a liar in both levels of reality..hehe

so it appears what we do out there in interaction will always have an effect in the physical and C1 is such a limited area of thought to be navigating. we are waking up though!

what I wanted to assure you is no one can do something to you against your will. they must ask permission of your higher self, and theres guides monitoring your activities constantly by the color of your thought field. nothing will harm you.
love, alysia

Do u think Bets we could talk more about soul melds at some point? I see you are wishing to show the importance of these and I agree. I believe Bruce's books will show a couple of these to occur. they seem rare for the general public right now, so I don't know...

but what you say about this person, that he was not in acceptance of love, or quite in the same place that you stood, it's true that one can have PUL and it not be acceptable to another. I met one whom had some problems accepting PUL. it turned into a retrieval for me, of an aspect of himself. I did manage to deliver what our friend GP in his book Eternal Life and how to Enjoy it calls a "charge."

a charge is also a boost in TMI terms. Boost or charge, is polarity exchanges, or as my guides explained to me, humans are alternating currents. The female is the negative, the male the positive charge.

I'm supposed to write another book on this and I'm dragging my feet.   the two charges balance each other ideally. this didn't occur for you and not for me either but I still think both our experiences will be more enlightening as we study more.
what worked for me in this, where I was do perform a retrieval was to allow this to happen by introducing a play into the interaction. This play can consist of introducing a surprise element into the interaction which allows the exchange to take place.
This can be some humor involved for example. I found that this area that I was in was not the higher planes where you might expect unconditional love to operate.

I was in his house, which was deeply entrenched with theology restraints. I think each such merge or spock mind melds, whatever we tag it with is going to be so individually tailored thats it's nearly impossible to find a language to define what takes place, so I applaud our attempts and thanks again for your post and efforts.

love, alysia