I had an interesting experience that relates to Bruce’s Guidebook.  I’m working my way through it systematically and started reading Part III in anticipation of starting that part of his CD exercises.  I got to the chapter on Helpers.

Sometimes I find it helpful to take a break from a series of exercises, so I listened to the TMI Gateway practice exercises dealing with Focus 3 and 10 getting ready to take the Gateway Voyage program next month. 

In both exercises they go through the Gateway Affirmation.  The last sentence of the affirmation specifically asks for helpers.  In the Focus 3 exercise there was just a long silence where the Affirmation should have been.  In the Focus 10 exercise, I had the affirmation but the last sentence, asking for help and helpers, was absent – another silence. 

Wow, was I surprised with this one!  Before turning on the CD I had vaguely indicated an intent to ask for helpers because of reading that chapter in Bruce’s book.  I wasn’t specific in setting intent because I figured the intent would be stated during the Affirmation part of the exercises.  Then there was only silence during those parts.  I’ve clicked out before but here it didn’t seem like clicking out – just a long pause and silence.

When I thought about it, two possibilities occurred to me.  First, while I believe in guidance and helpers in a general way, part of me balks at the concept of individual personalized helpers.  Perhaps my doubt and beliefs specifically blocked out those parts of the exercises.  The second possibility is that I had specific proof that there are helpers and they demonstrated their presence by specifically blocking out those parts of the Affirmation – first, the entire affirmation and then just the sentence that pertains to ‘them’ as helpers.  It’s like these helpers are playing tricks on me just to make sure I know they’re there.

Any thoughts, anyone?  Thanks.  - Rob

Hi Rob,

I told you you're making progress.  It sounds like maybe during those times you did click out, so you must have been somewhere.  


Staying in line with your reasoning, both of your theories result in you not experiencing hearing that part of the exercise.  So either way, I'd take it as a sign that you should pay more attention to that aspect of you that needs help dealing with Helpers and your belief/expectation of what they do.  Just realizing this should make it so that you begin having more experiences with Helpers.

Rob said:
"It’s interesting how being here on Bruce’s conversation board, my exercises and my dreams seem to interrelate at times. "

Jungian Ira Progroff used to give workshops across the US where he taught ways to log different levels of inner dreams and visions along with various levels of outer events--personal, national, etc. These logs were set up so one could go back and find exactly what you're talking about----how the co-incidences connect to establish meaning. Congrats, Rob, by finding there's a pattern you saved yourself some time and money!

Bets

Hi Alysia and others. 

I thought about manipulation of my CD player and I agree that’s possible.  When I first started the Gateway exercises and when I got to Bruce’s heart and love exercises I started clicking out once in a while.  My initial tendency was to blame the player.  After a few times though I realized it was me.  The TMI folks included a warning that you may experience and hear different things on the same exercise.  That's true of Bruce's exercises as well.

I had a follow up experience with the Focus 3 exercise.  This was before the dream I posted above.  I got to the Affirmation and started making it.  My intent was clear and fairly determined.  Quickly, however, it became an effort to keep affirming.  As my sense of effort increased, the sound gradually faded away even as I struggled to keep hearing it.

I wonder about clicking out.  This was different from my experience in the past.  With the fading out despite my effort and determination, I wonder if some part of my self isn’t actively blocking out this subject of helpers.  (Guess I distinguish clicking out from blocking myself but that can be another type of click out.) Vicky mentioned some aspect of my self relating to helpers that needs examination.  That led me to go back in the Guidebook and reread the parts about recognize that I’m being blocked and communicating with that Aspect of myself and understanding it’s function and changing the belief.

The mention of guardian angels is helpful.  It’s my childhood image of a guardian angel along with feathered wings and shiny halos that’s part of my balking at the idea of an individual helper.  I’m working on examining this stuff. 

I also think this helper blockage ties in to a lot of my ‘doubts’.  If I break loose and acknowledge Helpers at a personal and direct level, then I’d go beyond my more abstract and archetypal way of viewing things.  That’s why I think this blockage is manifesting itself so strongly.

I think of all of you posting here as helpers.  If I can have great helpers like you, why shouldn’t I move on to having non-physical ones as well.  A number of my dreams are pointing in the direction of helpers and I’m also developing some elements of lucidity in my dreaming.  I'm sort of going beyond Progroff to some more direct experiences (and saving money).

Thank you all for your loving help. - Rob