Fetography wrote on May 3rd, 2007 at 9:54pm:Thanks you all so much for your support.
I'd reply to each of your posts in more detail, but even typing this message is a challenge due to how weak my body is right now. What I can say is that months back, when I was approaching what seemed to be the end of the cliff, I was in bed sobbing. At that point I was so broken and defeated that I thought I would never get out of bed again. The realization came that as soon as I lost my religion I lost my wellness. That night I gave every fiber of my being to Christ, I told him that I was his.
Things got a bit better, but after listening to my brother (who is an atheist) my faith weakened a bit. Soon I began watching documentaries on Christianity and could not support the faith at all. The nail in the coffin was when I turned on the religious channel to find a preacher shouting that some day "all hospitals will be Christian hospitals" and so forth. What I crave in organized religion is the community and support, what I hate is the corruption.
From that point on I didn't know who to pray to. Even worse, I was afraid that maybe Christ really is God and that I had denied him. That's one thing I hate about Christianity...they scare the crap out of you...
I am afraid that I am disrespecting God by praying to him not knowing who he is.
Regarding some statements and questions posted:
I currently have agoraphobia, panic disorder, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, bdd, paranoia, depression.
I am on medication and have been in counseling/therapy for the past four years (still am).
Bets,
I am very much so into art and design; it is my passion.
Talking to you (or anyone) would be very comforting.
I am really in agreement with all of your beliefs...though I am still very confused on what to do about prayer. The list of angels was very helpful, though they are of the Christian faith aren't they?
There's a lot more that I wanted to talk about / respond to, but i'm really worn out right now.
Thanks again for all of the support and love,
Sam
Sorry to hear about your illnesses that have caused you suffering.. I myself too suffer from general anxiety disorder, ocd, paranoia, and depression.. It is rough and I feel your pain..!! I may not feel your pain all the way, but I know how tough it is on the soul.. Just please hang in there and never take your life.. I know I think about it too sometimes, but remember your family is going to be hurting for a long time if you take your life! Also, don't worry about Christianity, it is all fear based anyways and imo takes a toll on your soul.. I would just follow your own path to God! What ever brings you closer to God is the best Religion imo!! Most NDE's would agree on that one as well.. So, don't worry about what religion to belong too .. It's all about finding God your own way that is why we are all different and individuals.. Don't let preachers or others tell you how to believe or worship.. God doesn't want us to worship himherGod wants us to be his/her friend and us to be his/her own sons and daughters.. Because we are God's sons and daughters! Never let any religion tell you are not worthy of heaven/God and born a sinner.. We are all perfect in God's eyes! We are made in God's image..!
I believe meditation and enjoying the nature outsided are te best waysto connect with God.. You can connect with God in anyway possible.. Not just by going to church.. Being with your family and friends is another great way to connect with God.. By spreading love and taking in the love.. Also, being kind to others and helping others out is another way to connect with the true Godhead.. God is in you and will never leave you! Just have daily conversations with God and let God know how bad you are hurting.. God always listens to us.. God is helping you out now by getting you to ask for guidance and support!
Hang in there !!
peace