sorry to take up cyberspace. wanted to make someone laff this morn.
what it’s like to be this old...
* I get a brilliant thought while changing clothes and have to rush to the puter to write it down before I forget and I trip on my tights which only got pulled up to my thighs in my excitement that I had any idea at all.
* My family look like passersby and I don’t know what to say to them while rock stars look like family and I talk their heads off.
* I get meaner with age but I forget what I was mad at quicker.
* I sleep in my clothes because I’ll be ready for tomorrow that way.
* I wear red tights with a turquoise skirt. I never seen anybody do this and still look this good.
* I like reading my own stuff too much.
* I giggle a lot at the strangest moments.
* Getting shot by a random bullet doesn’t scare me in the least.
* I’m trying to start a trend of wearing hats and it’s not working.
* I wake up with a smile on my face and I know I must have been bad.
* I had a garage sale so I could give all my worldly goods to the poor and tried to buy a customer’s hat. That may be an indication that I’m packing it in as fast as I’m getting rid of it. If this is true, then life and I could be poised for a draw and I could be a cowgirl whose horse ran away.
* Men seem like women and women are turning into men.
* The youngsters are smarter and quicker than me.
* I drive too slow.
* I sold my vehicle because I couldn’t find a parking place.
* People come into my dreams and yell at me for something. Then I waste endless time trying to remember what they said and what I did wrong or how I attracted their attention. They must like me I decided.
* I try to talk softly with finesse but my voice comes out like a fog horn.
* I say something shocking then I look around to see who said that?
* The hairs in my nose should have grown where my eyebrows are. I don’t understand how they lost their roadmap.
* I make a joke and somebody asks me to clarify.
* I need a compass to find my car; then I remember I sold it.
* I lwalk in the middle of the road to avoid the roadkill of my memories.
* I’m not sure if I smell good but only to me.
* I kill others with kindness then I wonder why they protest.
* I search my mind for belief system crashes I’ve gone through and discover I started crashing the day I was born and haven’t stopped. For some reason, this too is funny.
* I can’t wait for the morrow, to see what I’m gonna do next!