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Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets (Read 4853 times)
Rob Calkins
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Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Apr 30th, 2007 at 11:52am
 
I met up with Irene (aka Black Panther) as she’s making her way across the country to TMI.  Not only is she a delightful person to meet, she brought me some Australian Crumpets!

Know what?  Australian crumpets are square.  My old age belief system tells me that crumpets are round.  Wonder Bread is square.  Certainly no proper English crumpet would be square would it? 

Juditha tell me that crumpets are round!  Caryn, if you read this, I wonder what South African crumpets look like.  I’m having trouble with this.

I suspect that there’s something about being down under and across the international date line that does funny things.  Maybe there’s some quantum shape shifting that goes on.  Or maybe that’s Quantas shape shifting.

I was hungry though and went ahead and toasted it and put lots of butter on it and topped it with strawberry jam.  It tastes like a crumpet.  Hmmm.  Anyone for tea?

Rob
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DocM
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #1 - Apr 30th, 2007 at 12:09pm
 
Normally, I'd have nothing to say about crumpets.  However, the first three images on a search engine reveal round tastey looking breads:

http://search.aol.com/aol/image?query=CRUMPETS&invocationType=imageTab


Matthew
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blink
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #2 - Apr 30th, 2007 at 12:23pm
 
Way to go, Irene!

Hi Rob...yesterday I went to the corner store and bought a few groceries.  I lingered over the bread section for a long time. Finally I chose some whole grain oat bread.

Then I found myself in the tea section.  I went wild.  Green tea, black tea, yerba matte (a south american tea-like drink)....

My little carry-basket was full but I was struggling to hold four or five different types of tea boxes on my way to the cashier.

Last night I prepared a lovely pot of soothing green tea scented with jasmine around 5 pm.  I toasted two slices of bread in the oven (my kitchen is too small for a toaster !).  When it was perfect I took them out and cut them into four delicate sections each.

I had some real butter on hand.  Also, strawberry jam and orange marmalade.

I laid everything out on a tray beautifully and gazed lovingly upon it.

Then I devoured it all.

Although I am crumpetless, I have the "spirit" of crumpetivity......don'tcha think?

love, blink Smiley
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spooky2
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #3 - Apr 30th, 2007 at 8:57pm
 
Nice to hear some of this forum meet physically!
Yes Blink, that may be true that you have the right spirit, but for the passionate crumpet pro I'm afraid it's not enough!

Now, to me as a foreigner, "crumpet" is merely a foreign word. So I go with my dictionaries:

Longman, Dict. of Contemporary English:
1. A small round bread with holes in one side, eaten hot with butter
2. (informal not polite) an offensive word for someone who is sexually attractive

Langenscheidts Taschenwörterbuch Englisch-Deutsch (translated back from German):
A spongy teacake; sl be off ones crumpet: weak minded

Schöffler-Weis Englisch-Deutsch Wörterbuch (translated back from German):
Pancake; sl to be barmy on the crumpet: weak minded

hahaha.
Spooky
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LaffingRain
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #4 - Apr 30th, 2007 at 11:25pm
 
gosh Rob I can't believe Irene would deliver to u counterfeit crumpets! Smiley we must demand an explanation!

thats funny Spooky that one can be off one's crumpet or be a sexy crumpet as well. the english amaze me continually!

and yes we have a delightful board despite some minor upheavals..today Spooky, I received your music CD! thank you dearheart.

love, alysia
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Rob Calkins
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #5 - May 1st, 2007 at 11:53am
 
Thanks everyone for confirming that crumpets are round.  I know Irene wouldn't give me counterfeits, so it must be something about crossing the equator and the international date line that causes a geometrical transformation from round to square (this is a Quantas mechanics sort of thing).

I enjoyed the pictures and they were all round.  I had to settle for the square ones because that's what I had.

I've tried 'em with green tea and black tea and they're still square.  Maybe if I used that yucky tasting matte (sorry if you like it Blink) they'd be jolted back into circles again.

Spooky, interestingly crumpet may have a German origin.  Wikipedia says:  "There is also a similar German word, krumm (from Middle High German krump, krum) which means bent, this is also a possible root for the word crumpet since many English words have Germanic roots."  What I'm looking for now is an Australian dictionary. 

I recall "squaring the circle" has a great meaning of some import in Jungian analysis.  So maybe there's something spiritual going on here.  When I think of it, crumpets do remind me of Bruce's disc. 

Tea and Crumpets Everyone,
Rob
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LaffingRain
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #6 - May 1st, 2007 at 12:10pm
 
ok, do this Rob. take all the crumpets and cut the corners off while in deep meditation or altered state will work.  take all the corners of said crumpets and place in bowl. mix well with whole milk. mash up. take a round cookie cutter, spread doughy substance on cutting board and cut out only round crumpets from mixture. bake as need in microwave.

drink with a spiced chi latte and get back with us what the experience was like for you.

love ya!!!
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juditha
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #7 - May 1st, 2007 at 2:57pm
 
Hi all   When our english fellows come home from the pub on a saturday night and you ask how there night went ,you usually get the words,"there was plenty of tasty crumpet up the bar" meaning women.

Our crumpets are definetly round,there maybe square ones around England somewheres but ive not seen one yet.


Love and God bless        Love Juditha
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spooky2
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #8 - May 1st, 2007 at 7:30pm
 
Quote Alysia: "the english amaze me continually!"
I've heard Oscar Wilde said: The US Americans share all with the British, apart from the language.
Quote Alysia: "today Spooky, I received your music CD!"
Very good! Did you find the picture as well and the bill or have the customs guys taken it?

Quote Juditha: "When our english fellows come home from the pub on a saturday night and you ask how there night went ,you usually get the words,"there was plenty of tasty crumpet up the bar" meaning women. "
Hahaha. Men! Some things never change, do they?

Spooky
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Boris
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #9 - May 1st, 2007 at 8:00pm
 
Rob, are you having trouble with an uncertain crumpet?

"If the crumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself
to the battle?" ( 1 Cor 14:8)
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LaffingRain
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #10 - May 2nd, 2007 at 12:44am
 
I'm sorry u guys started something and I need the last word..

Boris  Smiley   ALL RIGHT!! are you crumpets or MEN? all crumpets who can speak for themselves forward March! ...


Spooky yes I like your card hand drawn, I put with my poster picture of my book cover, in the corner and I shall frame the 20 spot you sent as well, well, I'll probably have to buy some crumpets with it.
nice music spooky, some good music to eat a crumpet by. thanks!
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augoeideian
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #11 - May 2nd, 2007 at 6:24am
 
Lol, having trouble over a South African crumpet?!

So a crumpet brings me out of hiding!  Although I haven’t been lurking – I promise but have been thinking about you guys often and sneaked a look on Monday and today .. and a crumpet brings me out of hiding!!

A South African crumpet .. well now .. we get these pre-packaged crumpets; they are round with those kind of holes in them .. I should imagine very much like the English ones; toasted with butter .. very nice but being pre-package a bit high in preservatives .. mmm

The local equivalent here I would say is the koeksister .. a very light dough, deep fried and dipped in syrup and sugar (not good for the waistline!) they normally about 10cm long and are in a twist shape. The koeksister is a traditional recipe made by generations of Afrikaans women who are serious about their baking. 

And Juditha when you say the English liken a crumpet to a woman .. the tease here is a barbie doll like women is nicknamed a koeksister!

So here it is a koeksister with coffee on the stoep (patio) watching the sunset!  Hope it helps the crumpet trail  Smiley

There’s a koeksister crumpet in my trumpet  Cheesy
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Rob Calkins
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Re: Old Age Misconceptions About Crumpets
Reply #12 - May 2nd, 2007 at 10:28am
 
It’s not the crumpet I’m uncertain about, it’s the shape.  Although, when I put my ear down to the crumpet I got some butter and strawberry jam on it and just maybe I heard it laugh.

Can’t try Alysia’s suggestion, ‘cause I ate the last one.

Thank you so much Juditha and Caryn.  We may now tentatively conclude that square crumpets are most likely an Australian shape shifting thing.  Although there haven’t been any Canadians or Kiwis checking in on the issue, so I’ll keep working on it. 

Much love,
Rob
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