Hello all...

Ever since I can remember I have always had a fear of death and dying.  Over the past few years I have come to the realization that my fears are based on my religious beliefs (or lack of).  I was raised Christian, but always felt there was something more.  What complicates things and scares me is that my husband is Agnostic.  He is the most wonderful, caring and amazing person I have ever met.   The last church I attended many years ago preached that only Christians go to heaven.  I am having a hard time right now because the holidays are beginning to give me a sour view.  I have doubts and am respecting Buddism more than I do Christianity right now.  I am having a hard time finding what the real answers are.  I am also having a hard time because I have a daughter who is two and am wandering how to raise her.  I understand and can respect that she will make her own decision in the long run.  But, I am still at a loss.

Anyone out there experience any similar doubts.

Would love to hear your thoughts!

I am almost tempted to title this piece, "A Cap of Grey Hairs for a Green Head'!

There seems to be a developmental stage which we reach in life when we question the impertinence of our existence and you appear to have arrived there so well done! How you progress through it and what conclusion you arrive at is solely an individual affair.

Regretfully, the reality is that we live in a society that floats on propaganda which serves only to confuse and we each have to find our way out of this maze of confusion it created. All that can be done is to make you aware (or more aware) that all politically orientated organisations prey on the malleable minds of the young which is done prior to this maturation process being reached. Thereafter, mature minds become individual thinkers ready to challenge the institutionalised thought-processes that has targeted them from birth. There are many references in literature to this metamorphic stage that you have reached.

The best advice with regard to how to influence your daughter is to avoid making her different to other children; her peer group that she will follow, through the remainder of her life. Remember the saying which says that it is cosy in a crowd but baby it's cold outside? This does not imply that we should act like sheep as, indeed, scoundrels hide behind patriotism (and the interpretation here is not restricted to the love of one's country) but rather, to help her to feel comfortable about herself in relation to others. She will be more influenced by her peer group than she will be by any other feature of life.

Bon voyage, and welcome to the club!

PS Incidentally, regarding your natural fear of death and dying (almost sounds here as if you had a happy childhood) the problem with today's society is that most of us are protected from the affect of death while just over 50 years ago it was part of living. As the mother of a young child this fear is natural but as we age we begin to come to terms with our mortality. Meantime, stay young and enjoy the moment!

Hi, cogirlsetc.,

I think that you need not worry about whether you are going to raise your child with the "right" religion. You, yourself, may have need of exploring different belief systems as part of your own growth process, so you should follow your heart, spirit and soul to do so.

If you want your child to grow up right, be real, be loving, be there.

Support your child's learning process and don't stifle your child. Make love the emotional priority, and gentle discipline a safe shelter for your children.

Just my 2 cents.

My father was agnostic and one mother Christian and one mother Buddhist. I received the benefits of all, although spaced out over my life.

But, if I would name the most important spiritual quality to teach: that would be love. There is no substitute anywhere.

love, blink