Jennings
Ex Member
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Thanks for the replies. Possibly I can add a bit more to this experience and my circumstance. My late wife and I had been together for over 45 years; she was 17 when we first made contact which retrospectively appeared to have an unusally high coincidence involved. We wrote to each other as penfriends from almost the start of 1953. I was 22 at the time. We met in the spring of that year. Subsequently we married and had 3 daughters. For the remainder of our married life we were seldom apart.
During her final 10 months I nursed her and it was an honour and a privilege to do so; paradoxically, nursing her was possibly one of the greatest joys one can experience. All the family were around her when her final moment came. I will describe this interesting occasion at some later date. Trying to come to terms with bereavement, of one so close, was like trying to drag oneself out of the valley of death which has very steep sides. For a while one felt like the muck at the bottom of the sewer. As the days passed I realised that I was managing the grief but the loneliness was sending me bananas! Talking with oneself is not the best choice of company even though one can be quite congenial at times but I soon began to realise that having someone to argue with in life is, indeed, a privilege!
It is not my second bereavement; it is my third, having lost a 45 year old daughter also to BC 3 years ago and yet another intriguing experience. Fortunately (in one sense) she was single that is, if the description can be seen to be appropriate. I guess the reason that I elect to express my spiritual experiences is akin to Shakespeare's comment when he wrote, "Those who have ears to hear, let them hear"! Those whose ears are stopped with dust continue to be ignorant and it is not my task to compel change.
Life without my late wife (and the other family members too) is not difficult but it sure is challenging! Life, as we recognise, is for the living, and we have to move forward.
When my late wife came through to me and said, "I have come to say goodbye; I have to move on" confirmed for me a number of questions that were in search of an answer. The obvious one being, the existence of another level of life. Next, was confirmation that there existed this intermediate level where our friends (spiritual family) awaited our return; a kind of 'threshold guardian' level. Then the fact that there was no choosing option as she had to move on but it also informed me that she would not be waiting for me to join her which was, indeed, disappointing. When she concluded by saying, "Your friends who have always looked after you will continue to do so" was telling me that I will continue to have a future, and one which she was possibly privy to know of as 10 months later I met another woman to whom I was attracted and who I care about profoundly and almost 4 years ago, at the age of 72 we married. On the first meeting of my second wife the healing started although it did take some time before eventually I overcame the grief. Uncannily, the coincidences that brought us together would indicate that there was spiritual intervention which I realise raises more questions which, sorry, I am not able to answer.
The profound love that I had for my first wife never died with her; it was still there after her passing and what it needed was another focus (object or subject). I knew that I needed a contemporary female companion; someone whom I could love and care about so life is as normal today as can be reasonably expected. If there is a problem, a minor one, of course, is that irrespective of one's wishes, taking on another partner almost trebles the size of one's family so there is never a dull moment!
I suspect that the Garden of Eden for which we are all seeking is this secular existence of ours. The problem is that few recognise it and those of us who do don't know what to do with it! I also accept that a close relationship is the best gift that one could have.
My late wife, daughter, and granddaughter, are now memories almost of past lives. Their photographs continue to adorn my study but only in a minor way and hopefully not to the disturbance of my present wife whose photos seem to be everywhere!
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