If I may I would like to share this most beautiful writing of St John of the Cross.  Juditha for your interest, St John of the Cross (1542-1591) lived and worked in close co-operation with St Teresa of Avila.  Both belonged to the Carmelite Order in Spain.  Although St John of the Cross, a monk, was twenty seven years younger than St Teresa, she took him as her spiritual director.

St John of the Cross wrote this and it is called;
The dark night of the spirit

This dark night is an inflowing of God, into the soul, which purges it from its ignorance and its habitual-natural and spiritual- imperfections.  The theologians call it infused contemplation and treat of it in mystical theology.  In this state God mysteriously teaches the soul the perfection of love, without its doing anything and without its understanding the nature of this infused contemplation.  For what produces such striking effects in the soul is the loving wisdom of God, which by its purifying and illuminating action prepares the soul for the union of love with God.  And this loving wisdom is the same which also purifies and illumines the blessed spirits.

But now the question arises:  Why does the soul call this Divine light a dark night?  The answer is that for two reasons this Divine wisdom is for the soul not only night and darkness, but also affliction and torment.  The first reason is the sublime grandeur of Divine Wisdom, which transcends the capacity of the soul and is therefore darkness to it.  The second reason is the lowliness and impurity of the soul, and in this respect Divine Wisdom is for the soul painful, bitter and dark.

In order to prove the first point, we must refer to a doctrine of the Philosopher, which says that, the clearer and more manifest Divine things are in themselves, the darker and more hidden they are to the soul; just as, the brighter the light is, the more it blinds and darkens the eye of the night-owl.  When, therefore, this Divine light of contemplation invades a soul, which is not yet wholly illumined, it causes spiritual darkness in it; for it not only transcends the soul’s natural intellectual capacity, but it also drowns out and darkens the act of intellection.  This is why Dionysius (the Areopagite) and other mystical theologians call this infused contemplation a ray of darkness for the soul that is not yet wholly purified and illumined.

And (with respect to the second point) it is clear that this dark contemplation is in its early stages very painful to the soul; for, as this Divine infused contemplation comprises in itself a plentitude of the highest perfections, and since the soul which receives them is not yet wholly purified and thus still engulfed in a sea of miseries, it follows that – because two contraries cannot coexist in one subject – the soul must of necessity endure much pain and suffering.  Thus, when this pure light invades the soul feels its own impurity so intensely that it believes God to be its enemy and comes to think of itself as an enemy of God.

This causes it so much grief and sadness that it feels actually rejected and forsaken by God.  And what gives it the greatest pain is the fear that it will never be worthy of God and that therefore all its blessings are lost for ever.  For this Divine and dark light now reveals to the soul’s sight all its faults and miseries, so that it may see clearly how by its own powers it can never have anything else.

The second kind of torment which the soul suffers is caused by its natural, moral, and spiritual weakness; for when the Divine contemplation takes hold of the soul with some degree of violence, in order to strengthen it and make it obedient, it suffers so much pain in its weakness that it almost faints.  Both sense and spirit suffer such pain and agony as if they were weighed down by some immense load, so that even death would appear as a release and relief.

And it is indeed very strange and very sad that the soul is so weak and impure that the light and gentle hand of God appears to it as such a prodigious weight and such hostile force, since this hand does not really weigh the soul down, but only touches it mercifully, in order to bestow favors and graces upon it.

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LightR_on; yes it is a serious contemplation 'the dark night of the spirit' St John also writes about 'the dark night of the soul' but this is of the spirit.  I never write about something I do not understand; and if I do not understand it I ask.  I understand the 'dark night of the spirit' I have been there, I am still there and indeed my life to this point 'has been a dark night of the spirit'.  Although it could be far worse, i could have Aids for example.

But with this writing of St John he is telling us it is an unfoldment to be understood personally; the harder the road the more light is beaming into the spirit.  With this understanding comes Joy, it is a deep contemplation, which maybe some people do not understand and may give their comments in passing over this literature.  I can see you understand it LightR_on and possibly talking about and contemplating your pain and your path either to friends or here and to God it will bring it to the surface and not weigh you down.  

Love and understanding.

Hi augoiedian I have suffered torment from others directed  my  way, i was programmed how to think,feel and totally convinced that i was not worthy to be on this earth plain,i had this put my way from the age of 12yrs old and it is only now that i am starting to find out that i have got freewill,which is something i thought could never be.

I go to this centre everyday now to find out who i am,who the real me is,they have told me at the centre ,they want to see the real Judy from behind the face,and i am slowly starting to find that out who i am, and use my thoughts and its starting to feel like the best thing since sliced bread to me,as before i thought that, i was not allowed to breath the same air as anyone, and everyone was better than me and i was not good enough to be on this earth plain,and thats very negative way,so i am starting to think positive at last.

My faith in Gods love have kept me from completely giving up on myself through the years,but i have to admit there were times when i used to cry to God and say , why God why do i suffer,what did i do that i have to endure this mental torture,but i know that God helped me out of the dark woods and led me into the sunshine and thats were i am now in the beautiful sunshine.

It could be the same Theresa as my catholic nun spirit guide theresa,its a possibility.

Love and God bless you augoeidian love juditha

LightsR_on; hope you are feeling on top of the world today.  Matthew such warm words fill of understanding; thank you.

Ah Juditha, and Deena you are one of those rare people whose souls are at the front instead of the material spirit. To me, the soul is the essence of the feminine - the shy and virtuous maiden.  And its not easy for such a gentle essence to be exposed in this world.  Our ego protects our souls, in this way, by saying I represent my soul and I am strong for my soul so my soul may grow and learn without hinderance or hurt.  With our ego consciousness receiving strength from Christ so it does not go beyond itself but nutures and guides the soul in truth and towards truth.

I have posted this before but post it again;
'If the I is to perceive itself, it cannot surrender itself.  In order to be conscious of its own being (the soul), it must first use inner activity to lift its being up out of its own depths'.

Contemplating on this statement i have come to realise it means;
For 'I' to know what 'I' am like - i am born into a physical body in order to perceive myself, to know myself and to know myself in relation to other people.  Also to bring into being and perceive what 'I' have learnt in my past life and what 'I' have become.  Because i think when we are in the spirit world we are far more lucid it is hard to look in a mirror and say 'this is me'.

Hope this helps.

Possibly St Teresa of Avril is not the same as St Theresa who protects and guides you angel.  Maybe the h is the difference.  

Love and sunshine Juditha and Deena.

(i think i've hogged the board a bit today! - love and appreciation)

Hi augoeidian I have just realised that Theresa my catholic nun spirit guide told ne that she was at ,The Abbey of Cleve,and the abbey was in Somerset in the 16th century
Thankyou for those lovely words you wrote,may the sun shine in your life always.

Love and God bless you augoeidian  Love Juditha

newway....

Just wanted to stop in for a moment as I'm scanning these threads...and had nothing profound to add to yours...however,I've recently thought to consciously, no matter how uncomfortable or vulnerable I might feel, take the small risk it takes to send along a compliment to someone if I feel sincerely and strongly about it....what's the worst that can happen?

Not only in this posting,or thread, but also I've picked up on it in a couple others...("what?", right?)..and that is I like the way you are able to get across your thoughts very concisely, and in an eloquent and easy to read fashion. It's something I can appreciate and admire,b/c as much as I love to write,it takes talent to be able to condense writing without losing any of the overt and subtle points...Anyway..I liked the way in which you view/feel/experience/imagine Christ to be. I also feel that he'd be most approachable..I seem to find that kind of easy manner a sort of "common denominator"among the higher/est evolved beings. I think you caught that idea nicely when commenting on St.Therese...of all the things you could have stressed,  I think it so important for myself,anyway,to continually keep upfront in my mind the awareness  of the things each and every one of us truly can consciously practice....in your words, "....basically, living out love in every small thing each and every day."..It was a reminder at the perfect time....b/c I already am 100 percent sure,that when I put effort into this seemingly simple way of thought....my life/emotional state/empathy/feeling of closeness to the God of my understanding......etc....well,all of those things improve as a natural"reaction" despite myself,even.. Humility, another word you mentioned...and true generosity as well...are also elusive in my experience,but again,incredible rewards result in sustained effort...I've heard it said before that humility is such that when one believes he has achieved "humility"..and expresses such...that if it was present,the moment we think we've achieved it,we've lost it again....lol...

Oh dear,it's 2am and starting to show in my train of thought....I also wanted to quickly acknowledge DocM's post before my mind becomes total mush...I immediately also thought, probably b/c it's something that I've gone over, intellectually grasping it..but there seems to be a timing for things...b/c as much as I wanted my intellect to straighten out my heart/emotion.....it didn't work that way....and I'm talking about the power our thoughts and expectations hold....and in particular the idea and/or belief that suffering is noble and necessary...which is one that was reinforced throughout my childhood...very unfortunate not only for a developing pysche...but also for my mother, who was the primary inforcer of this idea,b/c she is sold on the belief herself. This was  an idea that was reinforced blatently..and also with continuous insinuations,and body language...etc. So,it is something that I have to be aware of and actively challenge the old way...Lastly...I would see the dark night of the spirit as separtion from God, as well,from the light and truth...which again,and terribly,would be self inflicted..okokok.....time for some kind of sleep....TakeCare all....can't wait to come back when I can spend more time.... Tanja