Well I married my best friend, and he always knew I was into spiritual stuff.  He wasn't.  Unfortunately, years later we weren't best friends anymore but still friends.  It's hard.  He can't stand my spiritual beliefs and wants nothing to do with it and has called me crazy more than once.  He tried forcing me to change but he knows he can't change me.  We decided to not discuss certain topics as the only way to get along.  I have found that the hardest part was learning to not be afraid to be myself, and learning to like and love myself.  Those were things I didn't realize I had been neglecting.

Amongst all the kindly thoughts I feel like I was lecturing you, George. Please forgive my arrogance - I just hate to see others make the same mistakes I made - 4 times yet!

The 5th time worked. But it took 12 years before she'd allow me to even SAY the "M word".

dave

lol  Cricket, its not true whatever yer thinking Goldiflocks, my goodness, I see you would never have George's predictament! and my guy dropped out of the race too, but not because of what I did for him, maybe because of what I didn't do! theres no bad feelings there though. thats funny Rec. about all the ones...good heavens, what could it mean?

George, I swear we will keep on track with the subject if you would just come back and talk. love, alysia

Whhhooooar, This will be my 100th Post
 

Thanks my friends for all your suport.She is a good woman,around the house,but she keeps telling me to come back to normal.She does not believe that ive had all my spiritual experience.I guess I will have to tell her shes not welcome in my house anymore.I have done alot for her sense I met her.ive paid of her visa,that was over 10.000 dollors,and otherBills.I like helping people who are not so well off as I am.But you know people take advantage of you.But I am afried I will have to let her go.Its cost me 40.000 dollors so far.I think that is enought.Thanks a lot.Its good to have all of you to talk to.You are all the best people ive ever talked to.God bless you.George

I'm having a great time with this board,.I've really enjoyed reading everyones responses to this! So many interesting, and compassionate, and intelligent people all in once place is a delightful rarity.

It's been helping me so much writing down all these things that I am reflecting about now that my partner passed recently...and this thread brought a wide grin to my face, and I was flooded with memories, of just this kind of thing.Before meeting Sandy, I was praying for such a connection,here and there, and when I did meet him....I would have bet money that we would not last over a month.I was arrogant enough  I guess,to even say,"Nah,he just isn't my type, we don't have too much in common...etc" My little brother was living with myself and my kids at the time I met Sandy,and happened to be there the day I  met Sandy...and as we drove away, my brother, who knows his sister well, looked over at me and said, "Oh oh, Tanja, you're in trouble"...and I asked what on earth did he mean? He told me that he could feel the connection, and that he knew I would be with this man in short order.It took me by surprise,b/c my brother isn't one to make comments like that, and I knew from the begining,there were plenty of warning signs that we are completely opposite in many key ways....warning signs or not,there was a palpable and compelling attraction that was there from the instant we met.

I too,married my best friend who I grew up with, and I thought I was being very clever...thinking we are so much alike,that it would be perfect...but it did not turn out that way..and we were blessed with the two boys I have today..and then we split for good.Sandy, however, we had such a passionate relationship b/c of our differences, not that we have nothing in common,but some key differences.....but we ended up helping each other balencing the differences to a happy medium, that we both started getting benefits from and we also grew. One small example I can think of,is I was brought up in "little Finalnd",lol, my parents both came from that country,my dad in his mid 20's, my mom as a teen..and as Finns can be, I grew up in a very stoic household, we were careful not to let emotions carry us away,that was considered weak...and I never heard "I love you" from them, but I honestly knew it, with my dad, esp., that he loved me b/c he showed me...although with my kids I made a conscious effort to say I love you everyday...b/c I think you can't hear it enough....but growing up I hear that it cheapens the word and meaning of love, if it is said too easily or often.......Sandy, on the other hand, growing up in a large family,Italian and some Irish...he was someone who would say what came to mind or upset him as soon as it was there,and even if he felt intense anger or hurt...he was ableto let it go very quickly as soon as he expressed it, and let the energy run through him, instead of trying to resist it or hang on to it. Me, on the other hand, tend to be one who can hold onto things too long.It's not surprising I have anxiety issues and bouts of depression(I've heard somewhere depression is mostly frozen anger, and that made me think). But then sometimes either extreme has it's problems,so we were able to teach and help each other by taking a little of something from each other,and as we did, we became less black and white with our own thnking and or ways of coping with things.

I know for myself, I was able to practice plenty of empathy, b/c I think I was challenged to, and that helped me get to understand him and myself better...I was challenged then to modify my own behavoir a bit. It made me see that very different perspectives can both have validity and work,even if they were different.Never a dull moment sometimes..lol.

As we became more and more open to each others opinions and beliefs, the more we encouraged each other to share,and if I would have been asked in advance, before really knowing him, I would have said that it couldn't work out..and I didn't  at first consider him too spiritual, and that's what I wanted too, was to find someone spiritual in similar ways as myself.I found that Sandy was/is incredibly spiritual after all...but I didn't expect to meet anyone when I met him,nor was I even activly looking....so I think there is a certain timing, or when two souls are ready to begin a journey together like that.Although I so know that feeling of  wishing things would hurry up already.....and how I felt when I was really wanting to find that special someone!

I think a very cool thing that happens alot to me, anyway, with this situation, and others..is I think to myself that I know what it is I want, and would dream of what I felt would be an ideal and happy outcome or find...and then almost always,no matter how great I imagined what it would be like....I was amazed to find that what I actually got when the timing was right, was far better, and even my best dreams were selling myself short to what really was/is given to me...

Alysia:

Can you please clarify this statement a little bit further for me  

"too soon we leave this place perhaps not to meet again."

I thought we would eventually meet all of the characters from this life at one point or another. How can we know who we meet  again and who do we lose contact with for eternity?

I very much related to what Dave said. Don't you find that  when you meet people who are too similiar to you  that there is often a lack of physical chemistry? For me, men go into two categories; either those I am attracted to or they end up in the friends category. I usually find those that stimulate me and push my buttons to ultimatley be the most attractive. Maybe I am just a drama queen but I find if the boat doesnt rock at least occasionally......it could lead to boredom, the  opposite of passion!

I also relate to karmickiss. My soulmate , Pat, was very different then me in many ways. Our differences were very complimentary. I am a slob, he was a neat freak who loved to clean up after me. He was loud and outgoing, he never edited what he was about to say ( I adored that quality in him), often times lacking tact  and sometimes offending others. I was an obsessive people pleaser who would often painfully scrutinize things i'd said or done ( Pat has since taught me to let that quality go!). We each balanced each other out and it worked and there was oodles of passion!

My best friend is now persuing me and although he adores me and it would be safe on many levels......I need the spice! I want to wait to find something similiar to what i'd had before with Pat, even if it means being single for a long time.

Try what Marilyn has suggested, ask your partner who has transitioned to help guide you to your next partner. I was told Pat would not only help me find my next partner, but he'd allready chosen him (cause he knows what i'd like   ) and that he'd send him my way when I was ready. Your wife would know best!

BD