I'm absolutely new to this site..but not to the topic(s). I would usually research this place...quietly in the background,(before posting) but I feel it's no accident I'm here, and perhaps it's a part of my grieving.I am single mom of two boys, 10 and 12...but had live in boyfriend/soulmate suddenly die recently, in his sleep. Ironically I was the one who felt for sure I'd cross first, despite our 23 yr age difference, he being my senior, though he the perpetual adolescent loving life...and I've always felt ancient in one way or other.I have no question, as far as is there life after death...having glimpsed over death's threshold myself once...though it was unecessary for my belief in an afterlife, I know enough to know this lifetime of ours is fleeting. I've always seen spirits, dreamt of the future or other side since childhood, was brought to be exorcised for such things and learned to keep quiet,but I learned on my own,similiar things about helping "stuck" spirits, for lack of better terms.I'm still here, and there has to be a reason around these things, I surrender to it,I'm not sure why I ended up here, but wish all of you well.

Karmickiss:

Welcome to the board. My circumstances are very similiar to yours, I lost my love 7 months ago. Very sudden and unexpected. But I suppose this was meant to happen to us as I bet we are both going to be a heck of alot more of a person as a result  of our experiences. It doesn't feel that way immediatly. I was a strong beleiver in the afterlife my whole life, but after I lost Pat, it shook up my entire world. Everything crumbled and fell apart. But I am rebuilding, coming back stronger and better then ever!!! You can call it a spiritual awakening. I bet you feel your partner with you at times. I do too. We can still maintain our relationship with them. I know it sounds strange. I talk to him all of the time, sometimes I feel he guides me. Sometimes I feel as if we have a two-way communication in my mind,telephathicly. I am trying to build on my psychic skills because we all have them. I found this sight to be very healing and a valuable learning tool. You will learn lots here and have fun in the process. Just try to remember that we will meet our men again on the otherside someday and it will seem that not a moment between us has passed. In the meantime, enjoy life, thats what he'd want for you!

Baby_Duck

Hello there  to you too, karmic,
Altho I haven't experienced the loss that you, baby duck, and several others on this board have, I do know what it's like to try to puzzle out how it all happens that we're in life together with someone so special and at a critical time. 
I also notice that you describe your Sandy rather uniquely as a 'MichelAngelo of a man'---does this also mean you have some background and interest in art? (Hope so---I love to find people who share my interest in art.    ) If so, have your children inherited this interest too?
Sometimes when I run out of words, I start drawing again, not of anything specific at first but just letting it develop. Sometimes when doing this, some other guidance steps in and the results are surprising.
This site is huge--84 pages just of index topics in just this one afterlife category. I hope you're finding much here to help you with this change.
Love, Bets

Just checking back in, I still feel as if I'm in a waking dream, and it's strange how perspective can come from so many angles at once...again, I lack the words sometimes...but just posting on here has already been immeasurably helpful.It's a place,where I described to my best girlfriend...that I don't have to censor my thoughts, or talk in code, about the things that really matter to me in life, and it's about time I started to seek out more"like kind"...b/c it puts back in what seems to get drained out regularly..I live on "heart"..and the bigger picture, or I get distracted by the many illusions in life I'd normally accept calmly, if I were remembering what and who we all really are...

Anyway...I'm so glad that Sandy certainly heard more than he wanted to, while we were together, about how I feel about the afterlife, spirits,reincarnation...etc...etc...and only started to have some interest, when he himself witnessed some things happen(around me that has gone on all my life,so it's normal for me..but poor man), 2 or3 in the morning, we are rudely awakened by what I used to think were more like demons, but mostly it was sprirts somehow holding onto things, or having trouble passing,and would make themselves known,probably simply b/c they were aware I was very aware of them, or who knows why..but I hope to keep learning..but I knew enough then,where nights like that would end up being long ones,where I'm up and talking to no one, holding conversation, which he could have dismissed as simply me being gravely mentally ill...if it wasn't for the banging in walls, turning on and off of faucets in the house, voices, things happening I can't even go into without writing a book,and at first it deeply disturbed him..until he saw resolution...disturbances stopping and validation of spirits having found peace or their way home. Actually,perhaps I've been one of those earth bound souls before...b/c since I was small,I always feared something like that..., b/c my reality was sometimes different from what others saw or didn't see...I thought about hell as being stuck, in sprirt, somehow,in any certain place,without my loved ones, even with hauntings, as a kid,I thought,why?Who would want to stay in a certain home, esp. if troubled, instead of moving freely in our astral bodies, continuing, uniting with loved ones...unless they were somehow "Stuck", at least in my mind that was truly scarey, and even in prayers I'd pray for those spirits,and in life we can become stuck too,b/c I don't know, there's so much I don't know..but to me so far each of them was actually holding themselves back without even realising how easy it could be to let go....ANYWAY..the point of all that was simply that we talked about what comes after death enough, that he would definately not be afraid to try and contact me somehow, knowing I'd find it comforting, not frightening.So as the days move along, I felt him from day one...dreamt of him...but then I could feel that electric energy building...and now he woke me the other night at 2:30am, by a loud crash...which was a pencil sharpener that I couldn't pull off the wall,without twisting a metal lever,and it isn't next to anything that would have touched it at all, and it was literally taken apart, on the floor, but not broken, I could put it back together, but as I did, I was smiling...I was impressed,actually,around 2 or3 I usually wake to take my medication..but I didn't wake on my own, and I was impressed that he could move something like that....It still feels odd,to be able to say that any place...I realise how crazy it sounds for me to be so sure what it was..but I know how he "feels",I've been addicted to his energy from the moment we met, without exaggeration. And I am greatly comforted that I don't feel distress from him.

As usual, this was longer than expected,thanks baby duck for the words of comfort and letting me know I'm not alone...and betson(sp?) asked about art...which is interesting that you brought it up..few things inspire my soul like art does...and it's funny, b/c Sandy,to me,from the second I met him, made me think of those beautiful alpha-type-males he painted...I remember telling him this alot,and one night there was a show on about Micheal Angelo and his art..and honestly,I started to cry,which perplexed Sandy at the time...but it wasn't tears in a sad way, it was simply so...moving..inspired...no words for it...and ironically...he really just had this gorgeous body on him,I mean exquisite, and face,and presence, it's just I haven't seen that kind of perfection in the flesh only very rarely...and what's funny...is I'm one who dosen't go on looks at all..if you know how I mean that, in fact, that kind of beauty can turn on a person in a variety of ways, I loved telling him that him being beautiful was nice..but not what I loved..I loved what I felt when I closed my eyes, in his arms..what came out of his hands...I saw a million different people in him..and getting older for him was truly firghtening, but to me,it seems rare to find body and soul age that really match...my ten year old is ancient..Sandy felt like a teenager..back to the art...I feel it's one very powerful method the divine speaks to us..even writing for me,sometimes when I write more formally, it feels like it comes from elsewhere.I like to sketch myself...and it always puts me in a good place....and interesting you asked about my kids...I don't have a talent like let's say...my grandmother could really draw...and my youngest son....the ten year old...he is autistic..and his drawings, paintings,any art he does,has baffled teachers for years...he was drawing things quickly,like one continuous line almost,at five years old I WISH I could draw now..he's truly amazing...so it's funny you ask...things about him that he couldn't express,I swear I learned through his pictures...and the detail is complicated yet flawless, he can draw perfectly something he's seen once....and that's not even touching what he draws from his imagination... Once I watched this film,"UFO's and Channeling"of all things,the cover looked as if it was a kids sci-fi kind of film..but when we watched it, it was very serious,narrated by Telly Savalas....of all people! Anyway,one part of that film was about a man in South America who from age 13,claims to channel the late great artists, even doing a different artist, each hand,same time, in the dark,with eyes closed.And if you know even a bit about art, and the artists he claimed to channel...then it defies explaination..and what I thought was a kids movie turned out to be one of the most interesting things I've ever watched!Speaking of kids..I need to tend to mine...I wish good things for everyone.

I definately needed to read what you posted,today,spooky....what you wrote fits in perfectly with how I feel. It's interesting, there are no coinicidences, I think, b/c recently, again, as I go through this process..I have been having a tough time with the response, or lack of, from my own family, esp. my mom.I understand so much better why things might have been the way they were growing up, as I look deeper into the psyche of my parents, as an adult now myself...but it's amazing how much it still hurts, how passive aggresssive and simply impossible to please..and how cold things are...for years I've bent over backwards, trying to gain the acceptance and love my little brother gets...and it was tough for him, too,we are very close..and the differential treatment growing up, and still today,embarasses him,and he feels guilty, and he and I are so much alike...except for the sensitivity levels...and it's complicated..but the end result was hiding hiding hiding..even now,I think I've got pneumonia...but have a tough time thinking anything is worthy of seeing a doctor..if that makes sense, feeling like...well...I love my parents...I am a mother now myself..but I developed a self-loathing very young,and it's been hard to shake.

I like what you said about for some they seem to cruise through life,living and enjoying as I'd imagine one should...and it truly does feel like an immense struggle to be here,I told Sandy often that it just feels like "heavy matter" here, and that I can't wait to shed this body and so on...I do feel him with me,and I am so very thankful for that! Even my oldest boy, who is really taking this hard, to say the leasst, the only dad he really knew, b/c his was/is so inconsistent,largely absent, broken promises...etc...but he is also sensitive...and is comforted by the fact that we can both feel his presence, and he also, I found out when he was very young...can see or communicate with the unseen from time to time.I remember when he was really small, but able to talk..and we moved into this 2nd floor apartment..and I was seeing this young boy around, with a couple adult entities, I don't think they were his parents..but anyway, it was the boy that struck me...he was about the same age as my son,maybe a bit younger...and I'd see him watching me doing laundry, cooking,other chores,and he'd be there, a couple feet away just looking,about 6-12 inches off the ground usually,and when I tried to speak to him he'd vanish, but he was around most of the time.Well,after years of keeping quiet about these things..I didn't say a word even to my husband at the time...and was waiting to see how things would unfold.One day Clay,my son, came running into the sitting room, and threw himself on my lap, and he was so white, and shaking....upon questioning, he told me that he saw this little boy, he said he dreamt of him before, but that now he knew he wasn't dreaming,and as he played in his room, he described a boy in diapers, which is how I always saw him,watching him,and when he took a good look,the boy floated up to the ceiling, and a couple shadows, larger ones(the adult presences I too, only saw as shadows) pulled him through the ceiling...and he was just old enough to understand that we cannot fly, or float into the walls, lol. At that moment I knew I had a choice, keep quiet,it was drilled into me that what I had was demonic possession, and to "ignore"any experiences I had, and I lied as a kid  and said it didn't happen anymore, but b/c it never stopped, felt there was something innately evil about myself....so...I decided to validate his experience.It wasn't easy,to say,"Yes, I see him too...." but since then,he lost the fear about it, asked and still asks questions about things he experiences...he instinctively knew that it was probably not something to talk about to anyone else, really..b/c of risk of ridicule,or even mistaken for mental illness(I was also in the mental health system,hearing and seeing things that are supposedly not there...etc...and was on several meds that made things worse, when I was young, and then brought to be exorcised by the local church)and in a way..remembering what I would have wished for at that age, helped me to help him, I hope...b/c now it's something that we check in with each other about, often seeing or hearing things at the same time...and thankfully, he seems comfortable with himself, and I try to tell him too, that it's a gift of some kind,that everyone has the capability of,as one of our senses,but for many reasons, not everyone does, or is willing to talk about such things. Oh, and with the boy in the apartment......I came to find out from the landlord, after becoming friends...that a boy of that age, had actually fallen through the screened in porch from the 2nd floor, and died....previous tenants,the house is also an old one, lot's of history in it.

Woah....looks like I have company...so I have to log off for now...I'm glad to have found this site...I know the internet has lot's of places to check out, but I specifically asked Sandy to help me find something online(in depression's grip,I stopped even coming online for a long time), but felt I needed something b/c alot of days I simply feel like it's too much to even leave the house too often, but knew total isolation is deadly for me..and the validation I've gotten from coming on here,and just begining to poke around, has been invaluable. I wonder sometimes,though,why some are born with this intense awareness...although I'm someone who is socially very shy, and want more friends, but really have a hard time reaching out, I guess...and it does seem that some of my other senses are weaker than average...in the way of feeling very sensitive, not always going by surface value can sometimes make one appear to lack common sense...again,a lack of a way to describe what I mean...doubting things that others might take for granted...and having few social skills, and this fear of everyday living...yet I can face life and death experiences, as a runaway teen, not afraid to be anywhere at 2 or 3am,not afraid of things that typically I should have healthy fear around...and not doubting for the most part, the things I feel or see with that sixth sense..and having been in three different situations, one where I actually died for a bit...and having little fear or none around that...and yet I can be afraid of the most mundane things in life....it makes little sense to me.I was one of those that can make Deans list when taking classes with little effort, yet, I shrink at the simplest things, or doubt my other senses, and am awkward socially, unless I know the people well.

I do find so much comfort in feeling him with me, though, and I feel he was just begining to really really know me and himself better, and I love thinking about how much better still, he would now. Now I'm at this place, where I know that I'm not going anywhere, until I finish what it was I came here to do..and want to make myself more available...or...I'm not sure...but if everything happens for a reason...I can't help but think there's a reason why I'm sensitive in these ways..and if it is a gift rather than a curse, I keep thinking then I should be doing something with it, that will be useful to others?! I've watched the shows like "Most Haunted" and "Taps"...I think I even tried contacting one or two of shows like this...and I think to myself....now that's right up my alley,and usually have a good idea about what's going on,or what's going to be uncovered about such and such or so and so before it's known, and think to myself, I wonder how these things get started, and envy the situation where these people have others they can talk to freely, and investigating the things that I feel are most worthy of investigation in life...b/c it helps me understand myself,life,the world, so much better, and can't help but think it would help anyone who had an interest or trouble with these things...b/c even myself who struggles with depression on and off...when I'm concentrating on the spirit,my spirirt, the realm of spirit,the bigger truths or puzzles in life..well it makes me feel like I have value, b/c every living soul is infinitely valuable, it reminds me of who and what we all are...and I get great peace from that, when nothing else seems soothing, or when life feels random and cruel.Oh oh, need to tend to my company, who has been very good about waiting for me to finish up...I wish everyone a great day....Karmic

It was very moving for me to read your post Karmic. That you had the chance to verificate your son's experience, giving him a better support than you had in your youth regarding this sensitivity, and many other things you said, very precisely, you have been through some very hard times (and, are still I guess...), but I tell you, just in case nobody else has told you, you have learnt much through this, that's what I see in your post. It's what I said in my last response, I'm sure some people need to read exactly what you wrote. There were some people here in the past, telling their own story, and this fear to be outcasted, hiding, closed out, that's such bitter.
Family stories are so important. It seems they come to awareness normally only when passing over a limit of suffering, then the damn bursts and people just can't stop telling. In such situations, some people are really surprised how detailed their remembrance is. Once in awareness I think when people reflect on it, and see how these psychologic things work and how mighty and longlasting they are, they get a special sort of ability, that is to see quickly in what situation other people are (a very good addition to your natural psychic ability).
I wish you could find a professional group or institute which is dealing with this sort of psychic ability you have- BEFORE you go into tv shows or such. TV is a very hard business which doesn't have much regard for sensitive and shy persons.

Thank you very much for sharing Karmic.

Anyone here knows a reliable institute to which psychic gifted persons can go for councelling and developing their abilities?

Spooky

Hi all out there in cyber-space.... I only have a short time as of now, and just came on today to check out this site,actually....but perhaps that's a good thing...not having too much time(going to bring the kids to a movie), b/c as I'm sure is apparent,I'm very long-winded all of asudden, it seems!

I was having one of those days today....last night was one where there was not even a doze..but watched the sun come up, and have been much like a zombie all day...just puttering around the house all night in a daze...though late night/early morning I at least can really feel Sandy the strongest. It has just been one of those incredibly painful days...I'd drive my car into a tree, but I know that's NOT the way I want to leave this life, nor do I want my children to grow up thinking suicide is an option. On Saturday nights I usually hit the local AA meeting...I go to those,and/or NA not all the time, but regularly enough, b/c I found there to be so many miracles there that I gain strength and inspiration...and alcohol and drugs have been one method I used since age 11 to try and block out the feelings...just intense and draining,always trying to numb....but alcohol stopped working years ago...and so has anything else, it's been a few years without any drinking...but I've struggled on and off, mostly off, it's why I go, with other substances.These days, I have absolutely no urge for any drugs, or even food(I think I've lost about 30 pounds in short order, food makes me ill right now) no desire for anything that usually titilates my sensual nature, not even by my lonesome, forgive the reference, it's not intended to offend of be funny, it's just that I've lost the taste for most anything. Ironically, the meeting wasn't there tonight, I must have missed the cancellation announcements...and since I've been isolating, I was looking forward to some kind of interaction, even though it's one of those days where I can't seem to stop spontaneously crying....and that's what I was doing when driving home...and it hit me to come online, I asked Sandy to please help me to ease the acute pain in my heart, and I thought of coming on here, before leaving for the movies...

And...I'm glad I did.I really appreciate the replys I've been getting...there's alot of high-energy people here, b/c I feel them as I read them..again the lack of how to describe what I mean, I feel the sincerity, I am a sucker for sincerity..and I really do appreciate the thgouhts people are sending my way. I do feel this psychic kind of dam bursting...it's like I can't, and don't even want to hold it in any more. I agree about the TV business...it's the time to time wishing to make contact with someone,anyone,that would at least maybe.....I don't even know what...but that'ssomething I think that would be great to find out information about any kinds of support groups,or even be directed to some good books or such...which I'm sure in time I'll keep doing...I LOVE reading, and have enjoyed reading alot of different materials regarding these kinds of topics....some real gems..and then others I stay away from...but I have been grateful for authors like Ruth Montgomery..and some others..

Running out of time here...I feel like a million different people..I do have some PTSD issues that makes that kind of a reality, but there's  a blending of things going on, it seems....flashing back to what feel like past lives...time to time, and ones I know Sandy and I shared,I wonder if he might be feeding me some of the things he's finding out...I just really am feeling the loss the concrete feeling physicality can bring...I know it's selfish of me...b/c I'm sure he's not suffering, quite the contrary...I just really miss him,even though I can feel him at times...I would hate my grief to slow him down in any way..and I should know better.Like when my grandmother,who was very psychic died(my mom was as aloof with her as me..and constantly says we are just like each other), at that time I was perhaps 11,and happened to be at a Christian musical concert of some sort...I was always searching differnt religions and such since I can remember, searching for answers and comfort. I'm now comforatable being very eclectic in my sprituality, not religious so much) Anyway,I remember I was in an auditorium, and I was standing in front of my seat like most others, raising my hands in worship,and at one point I felt something go through my hands and top of my head,I cannot descibe it, but it felt tangible...I could smell my grandmother,and felt her speaking through my mind so quickly yet thouroughly...and I only felt that kind of peace and love, and well-being when I myself was on the edge of death, and I saw a circle of beings around the operating table I knew could not be seen by others, and the peace was undescribable, no uncertainty or fear..oh oh, have to go....but the point is, I know for a fact where and what he's feeling is intensely wonderful beyond words,and should be happy for him, and I am...I just have that heart-break thing going on today....woah...gotta run.....

Hi again karmickiss,
just a little hint, it's a standard one, so hope that sounds not too boring. I recommend meditation, or, to avoid this term, a regularly practised relaxation (will get deeper with practice) while not falling asleep. I personally had my start with Hemi-Sync tapes and TheMonroeInstitute's "Gateway Voyage". Bruce Moen here described a simple method in his "Afterlife Knowledge Guidebook" (his 5th book). I had myself problems with alcohol and grass and it went away after starting this kind of meditations. It seems like a good substitute- and is of course more than that. I guess it could help to find times of rest, and/or to control you spiritual activities, so that you're not all the time living at high speed- not a bad thing necessarily, but, well, I'm just a bit concerned.
Oh, my great-grandmother used to say: "You must eat child!"

Spooky