Hi everyone who may read this. My name is Cole. My whole life since I was four years old has been overshadowed by a deep and depressing fear of death... Not a fear of dieing, but a fear of Nothingness, NonExistance, Absolution. The thought makes me sweat, shake, daze off, and can plague me for hours on end. Cause me restlessness. I'm constantly becoming convinced of the evidence of survival, yet at the same time I have this internal conflict- this sort of voice (mine of course) telling me "No matter what other people say you're in this alone, It's probably all bogus and theres just complete nothingness... after all- why should there be an afterlife?" This always gets me down. Theres so many questions that I have. It may sound odd (just being honest) but I wonder how can tribes people who behave like animals die into an all spiritual existance of thought and love. It just doesn't factor to me. Or do you believe even animals die into another existance? I'm always becoming convinced of the afterlife then all my questions hit me and "reality" bites me in the ass. (or what i've been taught to believe is reality) I guess I always hope imagination offers more truth than "common sense" but it always "occurs" to me that there's probably nothing more than the 70,80 or so years we're on this planet. And again the- "Why should, would- How COULD there be?" My friends think I'm an idiot for worrying about death. "If there's nothing... you wont care anyway" they say. That may be... 'true' but its so damned depressing that it almost... I don't know. My mother is a psychologist and all her books have the same materialistic standpoint as every other type of science. (at least mainstream) I can't help but feel survivalists might just be people like myself- people scared of the inevitable. People who have nothing more than lucid dreams and vivid hallucinations. I pray that's not the case. I hope if there is a god 'it' hears me and "smiles" knowing I'm eternal. But then "common sense" comes into play and makes me feel shitty. I'm a poet (though this post might not reflect my poetic side) and upon looking back at some of my poetry I see so many conflicts in my heart put onto paper. One poem about death being an "old friend" and another about it being an "enemy". One about how I'm doomed to non existance and one about how there MUST be something more to this life. I could go on forever but will spare you. This fear overshadows my life and evertime I hear of someone dieing, I'm just remined of my own mortality. It's very hard for me to go to cemetaries as my tombstone is inevitable. It's just so sad, and maybe I'm self centered in this respect, but very few people (that i know of) share a fear as deep as mine. Or simply ignore it. I wish I could ignore it. Maybe it is a stupid fear, afterall- why worry about something you can't prevent? Why does "common sense" always keep me one step behind believing in the afterlife? I hope you read this thoroughly and address more than just one thing I said. I may be asking a lot but I need some real guidance.
I would normally conceal this, but with the trust that you here will address me as you would anyone else I will state that I'm only 16 years old.
Please don't let my age affect your replies or the integrity of my post.

Thank you all very much for reading.

Cole Randall
OpenMind4Ever

Cole, I see several things in your post.

The fear of the unknown, in this case death, is normal.  Its not quite normal for a 16 yo, most are more concerned with more "earthy" things.  So, you are ahead of most of your peers.

Another is the "god" belief..or perhaps the need to believe that there is a god who bequeaths eternal life to us mere mortals.  Personally, I don't believe in a god..of any sort, yet I do believe we are all immortal.  I'm thirty years your senior..spent 23 years entwined in a belief system that nearly destroyed me (Christianity).

It reminds me of those who push creationism as opposed to evolution.  If you believe there is a creator, you must therefore conclude its biblegod who did it.  Same thing with "if there is an afterlife, there must be a god who controls it."

The easiest way to allay these fears is by exploring for yourself.  There are many links at the top of this website showing how to do this.  Bruce's books are a great source also.

Just know..you are not alone.

Cole:

All I can say is that because of numerous experiences I've had I know that there is an afterlife, and I know that it is wonderful, not just a mere big nothingness.

The power that created this vast universe doesn't come to and end when it creates at a level beyond this physical universe.

The energy of existence vibrates at different rates. It vibrates at a slower level in the physical World. When it vibrates at a faster frequency, you experience the wonder of the spirit World.

Just live a good life, grow in love, and you'll be okay.

Hi Cole,

I admire your honesty and willingness to wrestle with an age-old conflict that many people don't address until they are much older than you.  Have you ever tried meditation, in a deep way? I probably sound like a broken record advising this as the remedy for all ills but there is a reason why I do recommend it.

You are a poet and already have developed your intuition in order to express yourself in that way.  You know yourself well.  In meditation I think you might easily have some wonderful experiences which might put you in touch with the greater part of your being which some people like to call their higher self. When you get in touch with that part of yourself your fear of death will evaporate. You will realize that you are part of everything, and everything is part of you, and accepting that has been a huge part of my own gradual reduction in fear of death.

I believe that fear of death is simply a misunderstanding of who you really are. If you believe you are confined to your physical body you will fear losing it. If you see yourself as a small expression of a much greater reality it is much easier to view death as a transition.  You already know this.  You just want to feel it.  Meditation and many forms of prayer connect us with the greater reality.  Look for signs in your life, for synchronicity which cannot be ignored. This kind of evidence of intriguing connections is interesting.  Also, try reading Bruce Moen's books, and Robert Monroe's books. Try doing some exploration on your own and see what happens. Anything can.

much love, blink

Hi Cole,

You've already heard the logical answer regarding the fear of nothingness: There is nothing to fear. That's logical.
But, I also saw a different thing in your post: You feel that it would be such senseless if there really would be nothing beyond physical death. I must say, these thoughts are logical too. I wonder why not more people have these thoughts, must be a sort of well armored thought-protection that you apparantly do not have. Indeed, before the background of nothing after physical death, life would just make no sense- at least to me.

There are two ways I see for you, you can go both:

Seek for evidence for the existence after (and before) the physical death. That is mainly through reports of near-death-experiences, through other reports of experiences in altered states of awareness, and experiences in own meditations (I've tried it and it changed my life, and I'm not a freak, really). You don't need to become a monk and sitting hours every day. The key is relaxation, to shutdown the senses as much as possible, maybe to ask (or ask for) something and to pay attention, and to write down the experiences.

See the logic of philosophy.
"Scientists" who are telling everyone there is nothing after death don't tell what is scientifically proven, they tell about their own belief system and cover it with science. They are no good scientists, they misuse science to promote their own beliefs. There's in my opinion a simple psychologic rule behind it. They are uncertain about this belief, and when they make others convince of their own doubted beliefs, then their own doubts diminish for a while; but because they're not soluted, they remain and come back and that's why many of this materialistic scientists are so busy to repeat their oh so "scientific" view, which isn't scientific at all (this of course is also true for other doubting belief system fighters, for example religious, the more urge and force one spend on promoting a belief system, the more doubt and fear is involved, that's my opinion).
You already have philosophied a bit. There is this theoretical assumption that all you are experiencing is in your mind (not in your head, because your head also would be part of this mind-world). This must be true, because perception is in your mind right? If not, you wouldn't perceive. (If you are the only one or not of course no one could prove that to be wrong or to be true.) Let's play around with it. If your world is (or is in) your mind, then it is a world of consciousness. Physical death then loses it's specialty, because everything is consciousness. There is no evidence that your consciousness would end because your body falls off. And see, this world in your mind, how much possibilities do occur from this point of view. There is no fundamental gap between dreams, imagination, and sensual perception. There could be people who live in exactly the same circumsdances, the one is happy, the other depressed. See how much depends on everyones own way to approach the world.

Did you ever see "nothing"? I did not. How comes that many people think there is nothing when they never have seen something like "nothing"? Fear, I thought sometime ago, always is about something not yet here (and mostly never ever here), if something is here, present, happening, it could maybe hurt you, shock you, or whatever, but you then can deal with it, but fear always is about something you imagine. If you realize this, you can better influence it.

Spooky

Wow... I can't thank everyone who replied enough. It's amazing to me... almost tear envoking that there are people out there who are so deep (rather than the (seemingly) shallow individuals I encounter on a dailey basis). I am starting to change my perception on my fears based on what you've said and you've been helpful in that sense. I still have a lot of questions though. Maybe they're questions that only I can answer, and that only time can allow. But I really can't thank you enough. If any of you- or anyone else that reads this has anything else to say Please do.
Thank you all.