JaniceRodgers
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It’s really nice to share with the board again. Marilyn, how sweet your kind words are to me! I am starting my very first book. The story is born, I just have to get the nerve to get it all out. I have indeed retrieved many aspects of myself but there were many that were left behind. Since those days, I have retrieved many of my lost selves, and not one was done without love. What I learned from Bruce and others is true. Love and hate cannot exist in the same place. Imagination can pave the road to reality, the only thing you have to do is believe it, and mean it with your heart; all of your heart. I never thought I would marry again after the abuse and later suicide of my last husband, but I have remarried. Perfect? No, nothing here is, but he loves me and he loves me enough to let me tell you (all) the story of how I ran off a demon that had haunted him for literally years, and I did it through Bruce’s technique of gathering energy and thinking of a time when you really FELT LOVE, like ‘over the top, oh my God I can’t imagine feeling any safer, warmer, happier than I am now’ kind of love. That was always a challenge for me to find those kinds of feelings because my life just plain didn’t have a lot of them, and then there was the man I am now married to. One night we were hanging out, and we’d been drinking and talking about all this “spiritual stuff” I think about and do and I was telling him about Bruce and my experiences and blah, blah, blah……well it didn’t take long for his inhibitions to drop and for him to tell me the story of a demon that haunted him often, both in and out of his sleep and he was obviously afraid and thought it was something very, very bad. Now you have to understand that while my husband doesn’t puff himself up like a macho man, he is indeed a very strong man and doesn’t show weakness often (not to be mistaken with showing love, which he does openly and freely with my daughter and I.) He also felt very weird and self-conscious for telling me this and was instantly sorry he had as soon as he did. I asked him why he thought I wouldn’t believe him after all I’d told him about me. It’s because of his love that I am able to come back to this board, and host a workshop in February and start a book about my past. He didn’t think I was crazy, which I was THRILLED to discover, so why would he be if I weren’t? We just had to figure out whom it was and what they wanted and if they posed a threat and if they did, how to get rid of he/she/it. Right? I asked him if he felt the presence then and he said yes, it was outside of our home. So I, for the first time in a long time, went to work with my Light. I tried to remember the lessons I’d learned what seems like so long ago now, and all I knew was that love and hate cannot exist in the same place, PERIOD. No room in the universe for both in the same spot. So I began feeling love. Ironically enough, just that week we had been talking quietly together and he was telling me how thankful he was to have me in his life and that he never knew what love really was until he met me. (we have a great story….) and he actually cried a little and I kissed his tear and told him tears were precious and he should not waste ONE for they are bits of his soul, no matter where they come from, whether cried in anger, vain, hatred, laughter or love. So I kissed and swallowed his happy tears and told him I would hold them carefully in my heart and cried one of my own and was so amazed at the feeling, because I have had so FEW in my life. I have always had the OTHER kind! I stood up and headed toward the patio, it was late at night but we live in a very safe place and I knew I had to go out there to find out what was out there. My husband became suddenly VERY upset! He was uncharacteristically nervous and was very worried for me to go out there and thought something terrible was going to happen to me, which of course made ME nervous but I just HAD to do it. I finally had to just leave him standing there upset, worried and angry at me for going outside. I sat down on one of the patio chairs and was instantly afraid. I put my head down and felt the presence “evil” for lack of a better word. I felt darkness all around my home and it was very, very hard to concentrate on what I’d learned and come to trust in. Eventually, and it will take more than these two pages to fully describe what happened that night, I was able to stave off the fear long enough to calm my rattling knees and brain to put my head in my hands and remember my purpose. I remembered my first workshop with Bruce, I remembered a thousand things all at once, but the most important one, was the LOVE that I felt from the man that I loved, and who most importantly, loves me BACK. The more I allowed that feeling to grow in me, the more I trusted its power, the stronger I grew and before I knew it, I the strength to spread my light out and see and communicate with the power around me. I saw a very tall man clad in a long dark cloak and hood and he had a lot of those little demons that scurry around desperate people, feeding off their negative energy and feeding them back more, fueling and feeding the darkness all at the same time. And let me tell you, I WAS AFRAID! I asked the man what he wanted and the impressions that came to me was he wanted my husband and he wanted him BAD. I told him he could not have him. I told him I was going to protect him and he could never enter my home or come onto my property. He advanced, we fought, I bodily flung him across the lawn and continued throughout this to keep somewhere in me that power of love and light and he could not pass through it, I would NOT allow my heart to let him. The second time he advanced, I threw him back again and was worried I would not be able to defeat him, but then suddenly he changed. The blind evil rage was less, he was becoming just a man. I got the impression that my husband has somehow hurt the people he loved in his life and he wanted revenge. It was then and there I began to pray for this man and was able to see more clearly the evil churning at his feet like sickening black fog. I used my “flame/light” and filled that pistol I made for “there” so long ago and filled it with my love and blasted that fog with the skirting, lurking evil like a blowtorch. They drew back as now my anger rose at them and my pity for this man. When I was impressed upon again by the man, he was a sad figure that I asked Guidance to come and take. I told him my husband would not hurt him family ever again and by the same token, while I wanted this man to have peace, he and his gang would NEVER, EVER be allowed to enter my home and I began to take my “love gun” if you will and I sprayed the ground, routing out any remaining demons. The man left and I was sad for him. I was also incredibly relieved I had the wits and strength to get through that. MAN! What had I just been through? I opened my eyes and my husband was pacing inside the house, nervously watching me. I close my eyes one more time and began the old task of gathering energy above and below, blowing it in and out the top of me then feeling love and gathering my flame and centering it all in my 5th chakra into a giant ball of white burning light and clear, sparkling energy borrowed from the universe. I promptly and thoroughly surrounded my home in a cocoon of protection. I went back inside and told my husband the story. He was literally in shock, but he no longer felt the presence, nor has he to this day.
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