peg wrote on Aug 9th, 2006 at 8:57am:Daan, thank you for your reply. What you said all makes sense to me. I'm a very anxious person...meaning I like to know and I like to know NOW. I might be a little bi-polar?????
however, maybe not.
In any case, I am discovering, when I decided to look back with my heart and not just my head, that I truly loved Dave. And of course that hurt, because he's not here...or is he????
I hope i'm just not chasing an illusion because of my own neediness. Does that make sense??? Anyway, thanks again. Every little bit helps.
Being bipolar has some disadvantages however you have to cope with (I'm the same). How strong your belief is, the next day the sureness of the belief is gone like ice in the sun.
My belief has giant tidal waves, sometimes I know for sure that I'm on the right path, sense the persons I love which passed away and have loads of proof to boost my belief in it,
only to find myself in serious doubt about the same proofs and my belief a few days later.
If you try not to learn too much at a time and take things slowly and with security, the tidal waves are far smaller and your belief is more stable. Patience is also not a word in my vocabular, so I have to cope with the tide. I know it's there, and just like the flood, the waves don't crawl back that much as the ones before, so generally it's a progress, but more hectic as usual.
Don't panic about it, no-one has the proof of everything he wants to be sure of and every step forward is one, even if you take a step back sometimes.
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