dear Aeyna you said: Just yearning w/o much outlet at this point. I wish the things that made me happy didn't make her miserable, but that's the reality of it.
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I understand this statement well and my heart goes out to you. women's energy is a yearning type..she wishes to give her best away and have it received. so often this is not how reality is on the Earth. chin up though..there will be completion of that yearning. we just can't predict the exact date. what I wished to say about your wife; she on some level chose to journey with you for her own growth I'm sure, as I'm sure your relationship with her did not begin when you met, but perhaps long before you and she were born into flesh. when a man and woman get together they are busy reflecting each other. her own self image is undergoing a severe belief system crash right now. the woman needs the man energy to be proud of herself that she is a woman, and vice versa. now she has to come to terms that balance is everything..within her she must find her balance on her own as her man is becoming what she is, a woman. she will be thinking of you as "girl friend." soon. or best friend. (better) so its hard. for instance, my friend who's husband was growing breasts, which is a symbol of womanhood, told her that his breasts were bigger and better looking than hers???? how crass I thought. they did divorce. this competition you can avoid to understand your wife's is feeling perhaps she has failed you to bring forth your manhood, if that makes any sense to you, she may feel threatened with her own self image but not want to admit it to you. if the two of you can support each other regardless of gender issues you can stay together but its going to be tough from my viewpoint as both are expressing the same polarity.
when we transit to our true home, which is not this Earth, things look different, we can see we took on our gender expression and that all of us are free to express either gender qualities as we have both inside the free and loving spirit domain.
I love being a woman this life. I sense I was male in another and a somewhat onery male but I had a tender heart which saved me from hell. balance is the key, to become balanced in both expressions; there is so much freedom in that thought, that we can put aside our roles we've taken on and be fulfilled in those yearnings you speak of. hope this helped. and be gentle with each other is my only message for all those lucky enough to have a relationship going on.
she never loved who durst not venture all...from Auggie by Dryden..oh, yea!
courage is the name of the game!
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