yes, I have some psychology thoughts; tell me if you think its any relevance to your train of thought...this is from my book..wasn't sure whether to leave it in the book or not...need opinion. thanks ahead of time.
(was gonna use our favorite bathtub smilie but it disappeared)
Guilt Which Acts Out
LR made a study of certain relationships where people use guilt and innocence, or punishment and reward to some end. She asked DP what he thought about it, why they act this way. The following is his answer. It’s convoluted because it’s circular interaction-reaction behavior.
LR: DP, why did my mother push her chin into Big Jim’s fist? I saw this.
DP: Because she offered him a challenge LR.
LR: Why then did he hit a woman weaker in physical strength?
DP: Because the chin put itself on the fist? ha ha!
LR: Very funny DP. Could you be serious please?
DP: All right my dear. Remember one thing; a relationship is one unit. No victims and no perpetrators who did not come here for the interaction. Wisdom comes after the long walk home. No free rides. Guilt is a mask over fear which says punishment is acceptable, even desirable because within relationship can exist a game of control whereby one measures his innocence or his power against another. It is a natural act spirit portrays within ego dominion and building. There is no judgment in ego building; such building creates greater consciousness starting in childhood; as does the act of separation from All That is Good create challenge. The thesis of no pain no gain, another belief system, yields it’s expectations of courage gain, internal fortitude allowing the ego to disintegrate and be cast off when of no use to a soul after experience gained. Ego is necessary to navigate a belief system world, yet this is a unique planet and does not represent the only dimension of spirit playground.
All beings feel right. Supremacy without wisdom is force unbalanced. Within consensus agreement we are obliged to observe force without wisdom, without compassion; yet the one who would come here for this, learns of this only here; this is his or her school room opportunity to develop correction within balance. Later, you see it was a movie you were in. A larger part of us, Big Mind we can call it, thrust a finger into the set. What you did observe was small mind. You were a projection of Big Mind, and you thought you were the beginning and the end as small mind. Remember the observer, the part of mind you came here to develop and when it happens, synchronization of events in your life fall into place easily.
Rapists and murderers, the extreme examples in our society feel right. The common renegade spirit is energetically out of balance. He is in agreement to be self seeking due to spiritual depletion and/or exploration of small mind. Victims arrange their lesson plans with such on unseen levels. The forceful ones are metered into the Earth plane according to planners; beings with wisdom. Only the victim can reclaim or redeem the soul of the perpetrator; and this is unseen justice but tappable in the observatory lab. As you know in this particular relationship you were witness to, Jim considered women as objects beneath himself. Your mother begged to differ, literally. The victim role in this instance is getting one up-man-ship over the perpetrator; in other words, hit me, it feels good, because this will prove my righteousness. Two wrongs do not make a right, yet two are engaged for the purpose of the experience gain. DP continued as if speaking for mother: If you hit me I can then prove I am superior even if I did something to make you hit me, you should have been in control because we agree hitting a woman is wrong. He hits her, her point is proven. As she does this action, he perceives that might makes right. While she claims her rightness within a claim to innocence. He has succumbed to a fear thought. She has succumbed to nothing.
LR: Hold on. She succumbed to a flight instinct. He split her lip and she ran away screaming.
DP: Right. Her spirit did not succumb. Her body was broken, not the spirit. She still felt right. Guilt and innocence was passed back and forth utilizing the body. Between the victim and the victimizer is created the product of relationship. We are necessary for one another for our drama, we are one. We cannot be powerful beings without each other. There is no solution except to surrender having to be right, to the observer part of the mind, and this within generosity of spirit and lack of fear of loss. Did you notice the change in their relationship some thirty years later?
LR: Why yes, it was amusing! Jim had stopped punching although he could still get angry with her, she had a way of making faces at him, perhaps a twinkle in her eye like this was all a game.Then they would both laugh. They did this by eye contact and telepathy. It was instant balance for both of them. She was still pushing his buttons but now he didn’t lose control.
DP: Yes, she was teaching him where the boundaries were.
LR: Did he teach her anything?
DP: He allowed her to be herself. It is as a lovingness and reinforcement of her uniqueness that he gave her audience. She is a stubborn woman. He has grown to the point that he realizes she is no threat to his own sense of being right.
LR: That’s quite an accomplishment for him, wouldn’t you say?
DP: Yes, he had obtained control and possession of self in this life.