I dreamed that I was following my son around throughout his day, watching him do what he normally does.  After a while I wanted to get his attention when I realized I had only been observing him.  I had been following him, observing him, not realizing this was strange.  So I tried various things to get him to see or hear me, but I could not get through to him.  Then the thought came to me that he had died, except I had no memory of how or why, and in fact I actually had no memory of anything.  All I knew was my strong desire to stick near my son, to not let him out of my sight.  I had to follow him to know he was okay.  I rationalized that he was now in spirit, had not crossed over, and that he thought he was still alive, and I must somehow have the ability to see him in spirit where he thinks he is. 

I felt sorry for him that he thought he was still alive, going on about his daily routine as usual, and I was concerned about him being alone in this way.  My only relief was that I could still see him and know his every move.  I was thankful for this connection.  But I wanted desperately to get his attention.  I just wanted him to look at me, and if he did then maybe he could hear me.  I had no awareness of time, had no idea how long this continued to go on, and that started to concern me as well.  I knew that I must continue on with my life too, but I had no real memory of what that meant to me anymore.  All I could remember was following my son. 

Then finally, after having followed him for a very long time, I tried once more to call out his name.  I tried with all my strength to get his attention, and he finally turned around and looked right at me.  He had a look of shock on his face, but I was thrilled it finally worked.  I could tell by the look on his face he hadn't seen me in a very long time.  I wondered, "My poor boy.  Will he finally now realize that he is dead?"  I wanted to go to him, to hug him, to tell him I love him and will never leave him, that I will always stay by his side as I knew our connection was so great, but most importantly I wanted him to realize he was dead and needed to move on to where he needs to be.  All this went through my thoughts in a flash, but as David gazed into my face in shock some memories started coming back to me.

It was not David who was no longer living, but me.  I was the ghost, not him.  Memory now came back to me that I had been floating around following him for a very long time, trying to get his attention, trying to get him to see or hear me.  This new reality of mine was all I knew, as it was that important for me not to lose contact with my son.  I was saddened that I could lose and forget everything else about physical reality, even my own life.

Hi Vicky,
so you had a sort of "The Sixth Sense"-movie experience, when I began reading your post I guessed it would take this turn. Must be really sad. When I watched this movie first, it was just to get what's going on, and of course the surprising end. The second time I watched it I noticed the hints and allusions. The third time it touched me so very deep emotionally.

In my retrievals, there often is at first an observation time, people don't notice me, until I start to be proactive to get their attention.

I had many fantasies, daydreams and dreams about death. Sometimes I think I just see possibilities and go to training, play them through to be prepared for the case it becomes reality. You said once you are a planning type, so maybe you just thought about a possibility and acted it out in the dream, as we do often; and we here on this board are thinking about the afterlife and those issues, so of course we do this in dreams too.

Spooky

Thanks for the replies, Alysia and Spooky.

Spooky, I loved that movie, the Sixth Sense.   I think I must admit to myself that I do fear forgetting myself and my life once I die.  I want to remember everyone and everything, not just the last thing on my mind.  In truth, I'm sure my son is the only one who would pay attention to such contact should I die.  I think everyone else would just move on and forget about me.  I guess I have a fear of being forgotten.