LaffingRain
Super Member
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Choose this Day
Posts: 5249
Arizona
Gender:
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thats so cool that you did this Mair. I had this problem too in the past, you know for me it was practicing patience and it was still draining. I thought I was being a nice friend. I really am a great listener, and you are too. I never knew that about you. the problem might have been she thought now since she sent the phone, she could use you freely, but she didn't want you to share yourself with her, so its one sided relationship. it would have been humorous only I know how it feels to be drained. got this philosophy now, balance in all things. lol, did she want the phone back? speaking of this situation. my sister and I have grown apart but we were never close except that I could only remember the 3 yr old she was cuddling in my arms when I was 13 before I flew the coop.
what is relationship in balance? no idea, but something like 50-50. the last time she had called me on the phone but she had nothing to say and neither did I really except we both realized we didn't have a relationship at all at that moment. I have no trouble with producing conversation and did so, until I realized she wasn't responding to anything I said and so it was draining also to be the only one talking. I expressed this to her then that I was the only one talking so whats up? she still had nothing to say and I could tell my energy level was up and hers was down and that was the problem. it was like she was in jail and a clown gets sent in to entertain, but all she wants is to be free.
she said she'd call when she had something to say and hung up sadly. it is time I stop seeing her as that cuddly little baby in my arms. she's not that anymore. I sometimes see her in my dreams, always theres a guide beside her, holding her head above water, so I don't worry about her. anyway worry does not help someone. just wanted to say you expressed yourself and thats what we need to be doing even if that expression seems too unloving to express, still, to get to the balanced part, we need to do it for our own selves, with being as gentle as we can..the other will utilize what you say and work on their own delivery. it takes time. love ya! alysia
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