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sensitive to almost everything (Read 2765 times)
Chris Francombe
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sensitive to almost everything
Apr 4th, 2006 at 8:50pm
 
approaching 21 years old, and i still feel....detached, like i'm living in this body and yet watching my life from a 3rd person view. i still look at things with wonder and amazement like i did as a child, and deep beneath i get this 'why am i here, what am i doing?' feeling, which feels much more genuine than the cliche that has become.

i don't think this is adolescence that still has to leave me, it's a feeling that words will never convey, that's the best i can do.

can anyone else understand this detatched feeling and over awareness? i know i'm not the only one  Smiley

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Touching Souls
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Re: sensitive to almost everything
Reply #1 - Apr 4th, 2006 at 8:53pm
 
How fortunate you are Chris. I feel the same way when in an altered state of consciousness and can sometimes feel the same in C1.

Love, Mairlyn Wink
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augoeideian
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Re: sensitive to almost everything
Reply #2 - Apr 5th, 2006 at 10:34am
 
Hi Chris and Marilyn Smiley

Chris, your feeling of detachment is a sure sign that your spirit is awake and ready to seek beyond the world of matter.

It is wonderful to say you feel wonder like a child; it is this wonder that we consciously or sub-consciously supress growing up in a very material world.  This wonder should be nutured; it is the world viewed through the eyes of your spirit.

You are on the right track  Smiley
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Cricket
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Reply #3 - Apr 5th, 2006 at 4:13pm
 
I don't know why it happens, but I have it sometimes...I think of it as the "in the round" feeling because I'm aware of things all around me, and in depth.  Weird stuff...not real great when you're trying to concentrate on something specific, but neat when you're just chillin' in the woods surrounded by the whole wide world.
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augoeideian
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Re: sensitive to almost everything
Reply #4 - Apr 5th, 2006 at 4:21pm
 
Is it like .. time seems to slow down, a sort of slow motion capture and nature becomes alive in that the colours are almost dancing around you?
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Re: sensitive to almost everything
Reply #5 - Apr 5th, 2006 at 7:37pm
 
Yes Chris, I think I'm similar perceiving, and I really am not a child anymore, but on the other hand I feel like I'm not really adult- adult in the meaning that all is in the right place, that you know what's good and bad, got a job, that you have your frame in which you are mentally safe. I don't have that. I too sometimes am in a surprised and intense state, uprising but often at the same time melancholic. Unfortunately, often it's not only the ever lasting question "why am I living, here and now" which is really a question out of curiosity and to know what to do, but also there is this "What the h... am I doing here?" which is an expression that I just don't know what this is all about, how other people are thinking and feeling, where all means nothing, this kind of detached feeling.
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Re: sensitive to almost everything
Reply #6 - Apr 6th, 2006 at 1:40pm
 
Yesterday I was at Wal*Mart and waiting for an hour for my daughter to finish shopping. I had plenty of time to observe shoppers. I found myself in an altered state sending PUL to them. It was amazing and joyful to see how some received it and smiled at me as if they somehow knew I had something to do with how they felt. Others were so deep in their own lives/problems that it didn't seem to reach them. But I feel that it did on some level.

And have you ever looked at a flower seed and been awed by the fact that this seed knows exactly what to do to grow to be the kind of flower it is? I'm always doing that and thanking God for his/her wonderful creations.

Love, Mairlyn Wink
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Re: sensitive to almost everything
Reply #7 - Apr 6th, 2006 at 2:03pm
 
Yes Chris, I know what you are describing.  I believe I spent most of my childhood feeling that way, especially when I was very young.  I remember feeling that time was moving so slowly and I was basically watching myself from a 3rd person viewpoint, just as you described. 

I rarely get to feeling like that anymore and I wish i could remember how to get back to it.  I don't think it has anything to do with age, but in a way it probably does have to do with the fact that when we get older and get more busy, we tend to spend more time in the moment focusing on work or family, or we are planning ahead, always on the go mentally.  When we are younger and not as busy or don't have to be on the go and worry all the time, we have more time to reflect inwardly and sort of keep our mind in a reverie state. 

I have two young kids, and being a parent means you don't get to have your mind/brain to yourself anymore.  They are constantly saying, "Mom, look"  or asking a question, or just thinking out loud talking constantly.  I LOVE my kids, but I really do miss having the time to mentally let my mind just wander. 

I know at your age you are probably very busy as well, and I don't mean to imply the wrong thing.  I'm just saying that from my own standpoint, I don't get much mental down time any more because of having to be at work so early, then pick up the kids, then have to do family stuff or errands.  I never get to just zone out anymore.  I miss it.  I think all this daily responsibility and routine keeps me too grounded.  Geez, I sound like I need a vacation.   Wink
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