Matthew,

I can only speak from ideas I've garnered from others experience, as I don't know from my own experience. (I have done some brief retrievals, but never with someone I knew, just with what came up...and there was a shift that I sensed before I clicked out.)

I offer this as something to consider: During periods of dementia he may have been testing the waters over there, on the other side. Now he may be getting oriented, maybe he's not stuck, may not be able to make contact with you yet to let you know he is ok, as he may need to  get his bearings, learn how to function without his body. Basically, perhaps he is busy. Instead of trying to contact your father, you may want to contact his mother or his brother, there,  to talk over your concerns. My guess is your intent to assist him is received by him, and now you can step back and let things progress. Grief, and emotions, belonging to those left behind may pull loved ones back, kind of distract them, focus them on the physical.

Perhaps your father hung on so long out of concern for family members, your situation included. Once that reached a satisfactory resolution he was able to let go, with your assistance at the healing circle. The healing, for him, could very well have been non-physical, which allowed him to focus on the non-physical (and perhaps explains why he did not communicate with you, he may have been focused on connecting with those who have passed before), and he was able to release the physical.

Sending him love and light is fine. (I send him my prayers and thoughts of love and light also, that he may progress easily.)

My understanding is that Bruce's method of imagining a conversation at a table and following it as it naturally progresses, is contact with a person who is available to meet, and is different from a retrieval.

You have been in my thoughts today, and I hope it went well.

Love, Carolyn

People much smarter than me will respond Matt, but I just want to say that it makes a lot of sense to me to repeat the kitchen table exercise daily for a week or more...  It can't hurt.


If i were in your shoes, I would share your concern about your dad possibly not knowing he is dead. I had the same concern when my parents passed. What i did (at times of meditation, as I was falling asleep at night, and odd moments during the day) was I would consciously evoke the warm loving feelings I had for them, let that feeling expand so that I couldn't help but smile, and I talked to them out of that warmth , saying things like (for my dad)  "Hey Dad! Isn't it a wonderful surprise! You've died and survived! You are infinite and eternal" etc... it's your wordless intention that will really communicate but words can help focus.

I've used the poetry from the tibetan book of the dead, the clear light prayer, but write your own! Tell him in your own words that he has passed and communicate your joy.

You can think of him as you fall asleep at night and intend to visit him in dreams too...

Love to you and your dad,

             Tim F.

Matthew,

As you know very well, the retrievals reported on this site are very iffy and woefully deficient in unacknowledged high-quality verification.   On the other hand, it is obvious that you deeply love your Dad, regardless of his limitations, and his ultimately wellbeing will always be a top priority for you as long as you have memory of how he exited earth life.  I would just encourage you to meditate on the implications of this simple truth.   When you yourself pass on and eventually undergo your own in depth past life review, your relationship with your Dad will figure prominenty and will energize your resolve, despite any deficiencies.   You love your Dad unconditionally.  That said,  your own postmortem journey will be inextricably tied to your Dad's fate and this connection will prevent you from permanently neglecting his fate.   So however long it takes, you will pursue his wellbeing after your own death and eventually your love for him will see you both well positioned in your separate journeys for ultimate union with God and all the bliss and wonder that this will involve.   In the face of this mystery, be a spiritual warrior who acknowledges the vital truth of who you love unconditionally and what you'd be willing to do to serve his best interests.  Then know that this loving connection will eternally link your fate with his.  Since your end is motivated by love and gratitude, I'd wager that your relentless postmortem efforts will see your Dad through to realizing his purpose and destiny too.

Thanks for sharing your grief.  I know this has been a trying time in your life.

Best wishes,
Don  

Dear Matthew,

I've read your thread here on Linn's forum :
http://www.spiritlinnusa.com/linns_forum/viewtopic.php?t=1402

Regarding retrieval and communication with your Dad, the many posts on both threads on both forums (Linn's and Bruce's) offer many helpful suggestions.

I have little to add on that aspect, rather, I do have a little suggestion, but on something else.

That is, grief. Your grief is certainly born out of your love for your Dad. This is certainly respected. But there is a little understood difference, in contrasting the value or helpfulness (to your Dad), of expressing love (in well wishing) versus expressing love (in grief).

This is not to suggest that feeling grief is 'wrong' or 'bad', for either the passed on or the grieving family members. There is no such thing as 'wrong' or 'bad' in reality, of course.

But simply that, your Dad won't be able to utilize the love that is tinged with grief, quite as well or as effectively, as he would be able to utilize your love that is more wholly positive and well wishing only, without any trace of grief, sorrow or sense of loss.

This is difficult of course, because as human beings we have been conditioned by societal dogma throughout centuries, due to lack of awareness of multidimensional realities, lack of acuity of interconnectedness, and so on. So we often confuse grief for love. But true, unconditional love is a totally separate energy from grief, sorrow or sense of loss.

But sooner or later, in every individual soul's evolution throughout the many lifetimes and existences, there must come a point in time, when the soul learns this deeply and completely, and no longer grief, but only love. This is, in point of fact, a common characteristic of all Serenissimus or ascended masters, they have only compassion and love, no sorrow, suffering or feeling of loss.

Focus on your Dad (instead of your family's grief for themselves), and his new found freedom, opportunity to move on to greater joy, experience and evolution. Then, there is only love in joy and well wishing, no sorrow, no loss, no suffering.

Having said all that, my sympathies, support and love goes with you, Matthew my friend. You've already done everything reasonable and possible in your efforts to help your father, now send him (and let it go, so it may reach him) a sense of peace and assurance (everything's ok dad), a sense of help (many guides & helpers are present and available if you need anything, dad) and a sense of opportunity and joy (you're moving on now to much greater things dad, I'll join ya someday, till then, I love you, and always will!)


Adding my love to yours for your Dad,
Kyo

Dr. M,
There are no random coincidences.  It's wonderful that you were able to ease your father's concerns and help him move on to the next stage of his soul's progress. That you were able to do so must give you much peace. I wish I could think of a word, sort of like congratulations but with more spiritual overtones.
bets